Rain and Dark

This is a re-write of one of the first songs I had ever written. I kept the original idea and premice of the first version I just added a few more things, and matured the writing.

 

Hear them scream/dying soul’s broken clean,
Razorblade raindrops fall from aching skies,
Black thoughts surrounding/cutting deep into stray minds,
Evergreen tides of sleep and dream/fight to keep out thoughts obscene,
distant shadows dance across mournful grave.

Rainstorm breaks on this day,
you call it your last/putting problems with the past,
you think you know the damage,
when you bring death to the doorstep?

Cackles of thunder cover the sound,
as the flashing lighting mirrors the muzzle flash,
Mercury red paints walls once white,
as dreams and thoughts, all end tonight.

Rainstorm breaks on this day,
you call it your last/putting problems with the past,
you think you know the damage,
when you bring death to the doorstep?

The shadows dance over the open grave,
Shadows of lover, mother, and father,
Standing rigid and cold next to the coffin,
Tears they flow with the rain,
Another victim of a tragic game,
Sweeping black tides of mourn and loss.

Final day chosen by ones own hand,
Not knowing the suffering of killing oneself on own demand,
Selfish act of greed and escape,
Leaves all others left behind alone and confused,
Always there’s light at the end of the tunnel,
All one must do is push forward to find peace,
Instead of taking own life to escape the pain,
Running away from it all never solved anything,
Instead more pain and misery as the loved are left behind

 

 

Reviews

[babygirl hernandez]

great =)

[Larissa G.]

I would actually like to hear this as a song. It would probably be hard metal, a genre I'm not too fond of, but that's the vibe I was getting from the theme of your work.
It's a fairly nice little bit of work, too.
Keep writing. :)

[zz]

Great imagery, similes, metaphores, and whatever else you used. I loved it.