Pool Boy

Pool Boy

A Story by DJ Hoskins
"

A teenager caught in a life threatening situation at a pool party tries in vain to attract the attention of his peers.

"

Kicking out, pain spiked through my legs, my heart skipped a beat, they had cramped. I was out of breath, out of hope. As I sank further into the brilliant blue of the chlorine infused waters, I churned, flailed, struggled, in the fight for life. I was reduced to prayer; prayer for help, for guidance, for a savior, all I needed was one, just one, just this once to notice me, to detect my distress, my presence. No one came, I was forgotten, no, I was never remembered. Eyes wide, open; the light was guided out of them.

© 2015 DJ Hoskins


Author's Note

DJ Hoskins
Keep in mind that this is a hundred word story.
Did you like it? What are your thoughts on the short story? What did you think of the description and writing style? Please put forth your honest opinion.

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Reviews

Nice story for only one-hundred words. Sounds like a desperate man in an unsuccessful attempt to be noticed.

Posted 9 Years Ago


I think you can use words that are more descriptive.

Posted 9 Years Ago



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Stats

316 Views
2 Reviews
Added on May 31, 2015
Last Updated on June 1, 2015
Tags: Pool, Party, Teenager, Youth, Drowning