Corinthians 13 11

Corinthians 13 11

A Poem by Dj Golden
"

Kinda played with a bible verse to make this poem.

"

When I was a child, I did childish things.

   I went to childish places, and I saw childish things.

But now I am a man, and I shall do as a man should do,

    Putting aside childhood dreams, that will never come true.

© 2008 Dj Golden


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Although it is sad you have a sing song happy voice. It's the melody of the words. Very bible versy lol. Cute. I feel as though you're laughing at the idea. The idea of being an unfeeling, unknowing adult. Instead you're just a big boy playing for keeps. Hehe. That was my take.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I was going to say something about the simplicity of it--seems a little bit too brief, and it doesn't seem to have "your voice" if that makes any sense. But then I thought about it, and really like it. It seems...archetypal, more universal. And the brevity gives it space to rattle around in the reader's brain, to breathe and grow and expand to what childhood dreams THEY have given up on. I think it's more an example of writing for someone else than for yourself (which is odd, considering the personal nature it appears to have at first read).

All in all--good work, Deej.

Posted 17 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

What a sad note of finality this piece speaks.

Posted 17 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I liked how you incorporated a well known scibe into your own poetic repetoire. I did a similiar thing with "There is a time for..." There is a time for everything, but no time for eternity.

Posted 17 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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Dan
Corinthians 13 11
What version is the quote from?

Putting aside childhood dreams,
That will never come true.
Why? Without a dream and a song, one just weithers and die.

dan

Posted 17 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Interesting way that you take a scripture and then weave a poem about of it. I don't think I've ever seen that before. Quite evocative and lovely.



Posted 17 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on May 16, 2008

Author

Dj Golden
Dj Golden

Berkeley Springs, WV



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