Chapter 3

Light, Dark, and Smoke

I found that it was oddly dark, the world until I used the ray to make it brighter for me. I found a way to wield the ray into things for myself to at least feel there could be some kind of decent lighting in my house. I wanted to brighten every day and I did so by wielding my light to brighten the days. But then I just wasn't so sure anymore of what it was that I really had to do with the ray. It had been so long since my attack, and I fell, and now I was left wondering what use there was in this light flickering all around all the time. 

I noted that when it was dark, it was hard to miss it, as it often caused me to lose track of my thoughts. Then I was lost in smoke from incense instead, trying to bask in some kind of enchanting art other than following around a little annoying light ray.

One day, I was lying in bed, and burning incense in the dark when there was a horrible and intensely immense overwhelming darkness that filled the light in my mind's eye. It wasn't cloudy or smoky, it was straightforward and jet black darkness and it hit me in the shoulder like a blade; stabbing through the flesh of my upper left hand corner of my chest. 

I couldn't cry in fact I couldn't do anything and all I could feel was a pull to my attention to the light. The message was this: that I should learn to be caught in a catch 22. With a darkness overwhelming my mind, and I couldn't think now, paralyzed, I didn't know where to go with my attention, it was a trap and all I wanted to do was point my attention to something nice, but I was still stuck. The ray was shooting me a feeling of tense fear and it wasn't helping, so I attempted to wield the darkness. Like a whip I lashed the ray around the darkness and attempted to stab through it all with the light, while trying to clasp the darkness into something smaller and less harsh and painful. 

I didn't know what else to do but stand up and go and turn on the light. I looked around and all there was was smoke.