A Smashing Night

The nightclub is packed with guys that stare

Wandering souls going nowhere

Sweaty old has beens watching the flesh

Breasts bulge out from every dress

Walking round with their pints of lager

Some old enough to be your father 

Stood by the dancefloors staring at birds

Trying to sing but don't know the words

Looking so cool In their beer stained shirts

Pissed and legless they try to flirt 

The games begin the girls will giggle

The lusting men just want a fiddle

10 pints down its time to dance

Its time to make their 10th advance

The girls will smile you've got no hope

They're all off home to see their bloke 

So you've lost your cash and not even a kiss

Just a wink from a guy called cheeky chris

The night will end with a chip shop fight

You'll tell your mates "what a smashing night"