A Date From Hell

Her picture was so pretty,

She swore It's not enhanced,

I may have found my partner,

On my search for some romance. 

Her profile says she's slim and fit,

Her dress size was just 10,

When I saw her In the flesh,

I had to think again.

Her shoulders were a wide as mine,

Her feet were were quite big too,

She had a bulge around her groin,

I didn't know what to do.

She filled my glass with merlot wine,

It made me feel quite tipsy,

I agreed to go back to her flat,

Which I knew just could be risky.

Her pubic bone played on my mind,

But I thought I'd take a chance,

Or was I just suspicious,

On what's beneath her pants.

She went into the bedroom,

And showed a glimpse of stocking,

I took a peek, my knees went weak,

Her hairy legs were shocking.

All those months I'd waited, 

For a nice romantic night,

Have ended up In horror,

When I pulled a transvestite.