Birth In Reverse

An analogy of my experience with addiction and recovery

Staring into the flame

Recalling the beginning

He wondered at my smile

And I explained the story of my birth in reverse

I was a wanderer, through the expanse

    Neither here

          Nor there

When the violence of conception jarred me

     Into chaos

           And being

Appearing as a phantom

     The walking dead

            A wraith

So lonely.... so confused.... and locked in time.....

The peace of the grave wrapped me

       In darkness

            Rest for bones grown weary

I felt the pain of dying

      Excruciating

            Paralyzing

I drug myself into the womb

       The warmth and softness comforted me

             I was nurtured

Turning over in the safety of space

       My eyes began to open

              My heart began to beat

To the rhythm.... of Earth.....

I was born of soft flames and gentle fires, I told him

         Now I burn

               And I am ALIVE

Reviews

[Relic]

I know many who are addicted and wander around as though dead somehow. Yet, they're able to function and work and some are quite clever. I think they could be better if they got off the drugs.

Good poem. :)

[D Connolly]

thank-you for reading! I agree, people struggling with addiction can be clever, and if they ever do stop using drugs and channel that intelligence elsewhere, they can find themselves very successful

[jacob erin-cilberto]

wow, this is phenomenal...and so Sexton --

it takes the taste of death to make me feel alive...

j.

[D Connolly]

It was the only thing that did it for me :) Thank-you Jacob

[Ashwin Shanker]

Lively message and a NICE idea brought alive here. Keep going with writing like this my friend

[D Connolly]

Thank-you Ashwin :)

[Mr. Lopez]

Life is pain birthed by love. A beautiful concept. Well done my friend.

[D Connolly]

thank-you Mr L!

[Norman 223]

A revealing and brave portrayal of the despair that leads to addiction , and the mental and physical pain of recovery. Your revelation of that recovery could be the spur to others, Dani, but.....,. how do you get them to read it?

[D Connolly]

Hi Norman, I periodically visit local institutions to speak with people who are still struggling with addiction, but I'm taking a break right now. It can be really draining on my spirit, so I take personal time to recoup. Our area is rampant with the opioid crisis, but luckily there is also a very large and involved recovery community, and everyone does their best to show that there is life after addiction. All we can do is lead and hope others have the courage to follow

[Norman 223]

I can understand how difficult this work can be , As an industrial Welfare Officer I had to visit a couple of employees who were in rehab. In order to try and help them keep their jobs. I found the whole environment very stressful. I admire your fortitude ..
N.

[Tom]

Like reincarnation in reverse, been here before but this time I'm ready!

A creative tale of rebirth and wanderlust!

[D Connolly]

Hi Tom, welcome to Earth my friend

[Misty]

Last lines......... wonderful....
A different kind of what I've read till today......
I am quite amazed when i try to find different meanings of same lines. I love this one... Nice one dear...
👍👍👍

[D Connolly]

thank-you Misty

[Misty]

you're welcome

[Misty]

you're welcome

[barleygirl]

I'm not sure I'm following this as a linear progression from birth to death (or that, in reverse)!?!?! But it doesn't matter becuz I'm drawn along thru your well-stated observations anyway. It seems like each statement is placed with some distance from the last statement (or stanza, as far as meaning) so that the reader has plenty of space to interject one's own impressions of how such a journey can be for each one of us.

[D Connolly]

Hello BG! Gosh I was just thinking of you over the weekend! I'm glad that you enjoyed. Here's my thoughts as I was writing this. I was never really "alive" before my addiction. Yes I was alive walking, talking, ect, but I was oblivious to what I now understand as LIVING. I was just taking up space. My first use of drugs was the violent conception, I was basically a zombie with no way out, I died, was brought back, suffered the "pain of dying" which was the withdrawl. I cocooned myself in a rehab for several months and focused only on growing as a person. And once I was released back into the world, I was really alive. Now I drink it up and pour it into everything I do, and I have a greater understanding and certainly a greater appreciation for "living".
Good to see your smiling face kid

[barleygirl]

Yes, I've been busy this spring with so many outdoor activities & then the painful aftermath makes me stupid & not very articulate! But it's a very nice thing, despite the pain. Anyhow, I love your explanation & I thought I knew about addiction, but your explanation is much more intense than anything I've experienced. I agree that experiencing ANY bad times, once we get thru it & over it, our senses are heightened for all the awesomeness of living. Good to be back & reading you again! (((HUGS)))

[Ted Kniffen]

An apt description of re-birth, reincarnation if you will. The previous life has lead to self destruction but the new one has hope. No matter the addiction, in the end there is only these two. I like the way you've incorporated that semblance of space. Very well done, Dani

[D Connolly]

Thank-you Ted! This one is very special to me. I'm glad you liked it.

[Lorry]

The warmth and comfort of our own personal wombs that we retreat to are the biggest fight we ever face, where we can fall into the comforts of our pasts and forget about the pain of our future. They call us so invitingly to our own demise, like sirens.
A wonderful and thought filled piece on personal demons. Nice one Dani.

[D Connolly]

I was going to email you the other day and you were closed! I've been away, doing other things, but I will be back. I'm glad you could relate to this, I think we all can in our own ways.

[Lorry]

Yeah, took a little vacation away from the screen for a while. Hope it's all good other things, but if not....hope you don't get caught :)