Introduction- The Weavers

A trio of weavers create this world

     Osho, Avel, and Vento sat quietly, weaving a new tapestry in their home of woven yarn.  The air smelled of jasmine and tobacco, and permeated the thousands of colorful tapestries that covered the walls, ceiling, and floor of their dwelling.  They had been weaving together in this space for so long, that they didn't remember a time before.  The three siblings were gods; the first gods, and they created everything. Every living and non-living thing was spun from their imaginations in the colorful, magical hangings.  The tapestries were entertainment to them, and they enjoyed passing their infinite time weaving stories. Sometimes they created on their own, and other times, they enjoyed interweaving with each other.  Osho, Avel, and Vento were the weavers of our world, and of all worlds, since before the creation of time.

    The thick, soft fabrics hung all around them, moving lazily, and seemingly of their own accord.  These tapestries were alive, as much as you or I, and they played out every detail of every creature's life in the vivid colors of the magical yarn used to create them.  The rise and fall of every mountain was displayed, every grain of sand, the rippling of every stream and lake, every wave that shattered the still surfaces of the oceans, the rising and setting of the burning sun, and each phase of the sleepy moon.  Trees blew in the woven wind, flowers bloomed and then died, making way for new life in their soft decay.  Every birth, every death, every crippling heartbreak, and even the blossom of hope were created in these living tapestries.

    The three gods were not without humor, and they would frequently have a laugh at the expense of their creations, putting them in various troublesome situations.  This is the story of one such creation, a young girl by the name of Hele.

Reviews

[mattavelli]

Hello, D! :)
I think it's a fun start, maybe a bit bloated. Don't hate me, whenasked for reviews of stories, I look at the phrasing and the flow of thoughts and their relationship to the flow of the story. Some suggestions follow:
"Sometimes they created on their own, and other times, they enjoyed interweaving with each other." ** this sentence slows the development of the story. If its important, maybe reposition it or meld it with the sentence following it.

"of their dwelling" - in sentence 2 is not needed.

[D Connolly]

that's great Matt! Thank-you for the feedback. I'm considering removing this intro altogether; it won't hinder the story at all- I'm thinking of taking it into a different direction. But if I decide to keep it I will rewrite and see if your suggestions work for me.
Thank-you for the constructive review!

[Kathy Van Kurin]

"introduction-The Weavers"
D.Connolly,
Girl, your imagination is a delight! A story of living detail seen in a tapestry's very threads; a living work of art....litteraly.
The definition within this poem's words lays out the visuals:
""The rise and fall of every mountain was displayed, eveery grain of sand, the rippling of every stream and lake, every wave that shattered the still surfaces of the oceans, the rising and setting of burning sun, and each phase of the sleepy moon.
Loved this!
"trees blew in the woven wind, flowers bloomed and then died, making way for new life in their soft decay."
Beautiful journey within your writing.
Bless you!
Kathy

[D Connolly]

thank-you Kathy! I'm glad you enjoyed it. If you have time, I would love your take on the next chapter. I have been building this story in my head for several years. I actually need to get back to work on it, it's sat too long (once again...).

[Deco]

I liked the descriptive words used here. As weaving is symbolic of creation, the mentioned of them being gods, for me, immediately suggested where this story would go. Nice. While these are not my kind of stories I think a takes a creative one to try to write them. Good work here!

[D Connolly]

thank-you so much for reading and a kind review :)

[horizon]

Osho,Avel and Vento ...this is one of the most creative,original and fresh piece if mind..really I liked the concept very much..looking forward to read..I've got my interest

[D Connolly]

Thank-you very much Horizon!

[horizon]

Heeheeeee...I enjoyed it..

[KTizzle]

There were times you switched point of view words like at first this seems to be in third person omniscient, but then you use words like "our" and "I." Was that intentional or...?

Otherwise, I really do love this. I think you do such a great job at describing the setting, especially with the scent of Jasmine and tobacco. It had a comical tone to it and I love comedy. I also loved the idea of weaving being the opening because weaving is often associated with creation and storytelling. I felt that was really good.

Beautifully done.

Thanks for sharing! Have a great day.

[D Connolly]

I did do that on purpose, but I'm glad you mentioned it; I always like to know when I've overlooked something. I did the opening as ME telling you, the reader this story. I do that in a lot of my stories, as if we're sitting around a fire and I'm verbally telling you a story.

[barleygirl]

Your imagination is exploding with vivid descriptions & slightly outlandish parameters for your story. I love the way this "weaving" is so symbolic of all the ways we could believe our world has been created . . . there's a clear corollary for a God-believer, as it often seems He must be setting up our unbelievable situations with a sense of humor. Your beginning draws me in & I can't wait to see what's next! *smile*

[D Connolly]

Thank-you for reading!

[Valentine]

Written very well. For some reason I saw my mom when she was creating quilts of all colors, shapes and sizes.

[D Connolly]

Thank-you!

[TL Boehm]

Beautiful, the words are as lovely as the images they weave. A nice tight beginning that makes me want to turn the page

[D Connolly]

Thank-you very much TL