So What If I'm Bribing Her?

My dog Leah's trainer tells me I bribe her with food

The trainer came to see us today

And she told me I give Leah way

WAY too much of my human food

And that possibly, it wasn't good

"What do you give to her?" she asked

"What don't I give?" I said, then I laughed

Here is a list of things I've tried

To keep my doggie satisfied

Peanut butter in a Kong

A piece of Lil' Debbie ding dong

     Cheetos, Fritos, pretzels too

     Bacon, hummus, and beef stew

Hot dogs, liver, gouda cheese

Carrots, bagel, and sweet peas

     Chicken, fish sticks and tofu

     Chinese food and warm fondue

Crab cakes, Reeses, celery

Gatorade and sweet iced tea

     Potato salad and stuffing

     Tuna, pizza, duck peking

Sausage, biscuits, eggs, and rice

Crawfish with a bit of spice

     Cake I baked and slightly burned

     She comes to me for these, I've learned

If I need to bring her near

Her belly overcomes her fear

She sits by me and then we share

All the things that brought her there

It works, I swear she loves me so!

And if I have food, then she won't go

She is still timid and she wants to run

But the snacks make cuddling lots of fun

At first she thought that she'd be hurt

But the worst that's happened is a burp

She enjoys the treats she gets

She hasn't disliked anything yet

Maybe it makes her farts kinda smelly

But the way to her heart is right through her belly

She comes to me and trusts her gut

If I bribe her, well so what?

Author's Note

This rather unrefined poem was inspired by Barleygirl's "Pocked Pitbull". We rescued Leah and for the first 2 months, she would not come near us and was afraid of EVERYTHING. She's gotten so much better! The breed specialist told me to hand feed her, and I really took it to the extreme, but it worked! And don't worry, I just give her little bits, not whole plates of the stuff.

Reviews

[Norman 223]

WE have had three rescue dogs, and bribery is the best way to get their confidence. We find that raw carrot works wonders, and .....it doesn't make the overweight..... or smelly.
My consultation fees for this advice are quite reasonable, so I hope you will settle my account within my lifetime.
On second thoughts, Dani, your poem was sufficient reward. A culinary delight..... I feel quite full!!
N.

[D Connolly]

haha, thank-you Norman! I think I wrote this shortly after we adopted Leah, probably around a year ago, and I'm happy to inform that she is SO much better now! Still skittish, but an entirely different dog, for sure!!

[Tom]

Yes I know exactly where you're coming from... http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/Gizmo321/1264383/

A creative, canine friendly write, penned with a compassionate, caring heart 🐶

[Paul Bell]

Could you rescue me. I don't mind being hand fed. Sirloin steak, caviar. Odd 12 pack of beer. You don't even need to walk me.

[D Connolly]

haha, thank-you Paul!

[Gandré]

This was very sweet and had a nice flow. I love poems written from experience! Thank you for reading and commenting on my poem 'The Donald Rally'. Much appreciated.

[D Connolly]

thank-you for stopping by!

[Lorry]

Zactly. It may do her figure no favours, but I've yet to see a dog freaking out on the bathroom scales. The clue is what they are called, pets. We have them in our home to share our love, and some of us just happen to love cheeto's :)

[D Connolly]

I'll just let her chase the greyhounds some more :)

[Lorry]

Or put some Cheetos on her tail :)

[barleygirl]

I feel honored to have inspired this nicely original idea. Most trainers use treats, so of course we are instructed to BRIBE any animal to do our bidding, right? This aspect of your message makes it seem like your trainer might be in the minority with her view about NOT bribing. I think the main issue here is dog treats vs. people scraps (I disagree with teaching our junky eating habits to our animals!) I like the rhyme & rhythm of your riffing on all the different types of people junk food treats (even if it did go on a bit long for me). Your observations on trying to coax better behavior from Leah is fun, playful, realistic, & VERY relatable.

[D Connolly]

Hi Margie! Thank-you for reading! I have stopped giving her SO much, but she still gets a little here and there. Now that she's not so afraid of me, it's not necessary. Mainly just doggie treats now, with Cheezits and peanut butter in the Kong so she goes to her pen. :) thank-you again for inspiring me with your poem XOXO

[barleygirl]

Peanut butter in a Kong is a necessity, not a splurge *wink! wink!*

[jacob erin-cilberto]

okay, too cute!............

[D Connolly]

thank-you! Not as good as I would like, but who cares? Just a quick nod to Barley and my dog :)