So What If I'm Bribing Her?

My dog Leah's trainer tells me I bribe her with food

The trainer came to see us today

And she told me I give Leah way

WAY too much of my human food

And that possibly, it wasn't good

"What do you give to her?" she asked

"What don't I give?" I said, then I laughed

Here is a list of things I've tried

To keep my doggie satisfied

Peanut butter in a Kong

A piece of Lil' Debbie ding dong

     Cheetos, Fritos, pretzels too

     Bacon, hummus, and beef stew

Hot dogs, liver, gouda cheese

Carrots, bagel, and sweet peas

     Chicken, fish sticks and tofu

     Chinese food and warm fondue

Crab cakes, Reeses, celery

Gatorade and sweet iced tea

     Potato salad and stuffing

     Tuna, pizza, duck peking

Sausage, biscuits, eggs, and rice

Crawfish with a bit of spice

     Cake I baked and slightly burned

     She comes to me for these, I've learned

If I need to bring her near

Her belly overcomes her fear

She sits by me and then we share

All the things that brought her there

It works, I swear she loves me so!

And if I have food, then she won't go

She is still timid and she wants to run

But the snacks make cuddling lots of fun

At first she thought that she'd be hurt

But the worst that's happened is a burp

She enjoys the treats she gets

She hasn't disliked anything yet

Maybe it makes her farts kinda smelly

But the way to her heart is right through her belly

She comes to me and trusts her gut

If I bribe her, well so what?

Author's Note

This rather unrefined poem was inspired by Barleygirl's "Pocked Pitbull". We rescued Leah and for the first 2 months, she would not come near us and was afraid of EVERYTHING. She's gotten so much better! The breed specialist told me to hand feed her, and I really took it to the extreme, but it worked! And don't worry, I just give her little bits, not whole plates of the stuff.

Reviews

[Norman 223]

WE have had three rescue dogs, and bribery is the best way to get their confidence. We find that raw carrot works wonders, and .....it doesn't make the overweight..... or smelly.
My consultation fees for this advice are quite reasonable, so I hope you will settle my account within my lifetime.
On second thoughts, Dani, your poem was sufficient reward. A culinary delight..... I feel quite full!!
N.

[D Connolly]

haha, thank-you Norman! I think I wrote this shortly after we adopted Leah, probably around a year ago, and I'm happy to inform that she is SO much better now! Still skittish, but an entirely different dog, for sure!!

[Kathy Van Kurin]

D.connolly,
"so What if I'm Bribing Her"
Hmm...I wonder how many of we dog owners do the same with food as what your delightful poem expresses?
Pet professionals say no but when I was growing up and even before that animals just ate what their owners ate. Fortunately we all have access to good food for our dogie children. Ha ha!
You had fun with your word choices of snacks and food yummies. Rhyming and cuteness were enjoyed too. I finished reading and just giggles.
It was worth reading just for that!
Blessings, Kathy

[D Connolly]

haha, she follows her nose and her belly for sure (just like me LOL). Thank-you Kathy!

[Ken Simm.]

As an owner of two rescued lurchers I found this delightful and no mention of chocolate which of course is posionous for dogs, (and men I've heard tell).
My view if it works then use it. I am reminded of so many of my dogs here. Although I am not sure about the bribing to excess aspect. Having said that show me a dog, (including Merlin and Eva my latest two) who would not die for cheese.
However must not concentrate totally on what I relate to. This is supposed to be a review. A couple of words on the poem structure. Excellent and very nice. There that's three, will that do?

[D Connolly]

Hi Ken, thank-you! I appreciate your kindness (honestly this was just a goof and I don't consider it one of my better ones). Leah has become a different dog! She's a little more relaxed and she seems to be happy. Every day she gains more confidence, and she's learning that humans aren't so bad. I think she might miss all the food though, I haven't been giving her so much people food as of late. She's still spoiled rotten ;)

[Einstein Noodle]

funny and very relatable for any dog lover/owner ..tho we never ...and i do mean never give our Bella people food ..the the one exception of carrots .. and apple pieces, and raw potatoe pieces ..oh yeah ..there is licking the yogurt spoon, the whip cream beaters ..oh yeh and peanut butter with medicine if she needs any ... but never ever do we give her people food ;}
God bless you for rescuing your puppy ... but you didn't give us her name??
My younger daughter rescued Neurotic Newman and have worked miracles with him through tender patience, educating visiting friends and family on our "behavior" ... and love .. gotta love the damn dog right!? :) loved the read ..we know just what you are talking about
E.

[D Connolly]

haha, our girl is Leah. She's come a VERY long way since we brought her home last year, mainly due to the consistency of our house. We are creatures of habit, what can I say? The people food has been decreased a lot, but she still gets treats! She's gone from not wanting anything to do with us for the first few months to following me into the bathroom and making me uncomfortable with the staring, and pushing me off of my seat on the couch! Not that I'm complaining, I'm so glad she finally feels like we're her family

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahaha all in a dog's life eh!? they do need consistency and routine habits ..no doubt .. love your doggy love my friend! great job!

[Tony Jordan]

I admire people who rescue pets - especially if they seem to have been mistreated.
This is full of fun and love and it's obvious you two have 'clicked' as they say.
I imagine restoring doggy faith in humankind (which would take a lot of hurt to dash to begin with) isn't easy.
Hats off to you Dani - twice
once for Leah
once for this heartfelt chuckle.

[D Connolly]

thank-you! so much has changed with her since I wrote this. She's really made huge progress forward!

[Tony Jordan]

Aww thats great :)

ohh can you help cure a 9 month old shitsui with an indoor pissing penchant

[Gee]

Or a fella from Milton Keynes with the same problem....I'm onto my fourth pair of tenna pants with wings (for men) today. Oh bollox, done it again.....

[Tony Jordan]

Lmao - you extracting the urine feller?
haha

[Tony Jordan]

Haha - i thought this was the P.D(ani).S.A

[Kathryn Smith]

Oh my gosh. I love this one!! I've always wanted a dog...I bribe animals with everything..it's human nature to give in to puppy eyes! :) Well written my friend! xx

[D Connolly]

thank-you so much! :)

[tanmay7551]

Wonderful and so sweet! I was curious after reading the title and feel so lucky!

[D Connolly]

Thank-you Tanmay!!

[Valentine]

Good going to you. In Arkansas I rescued 4 dogs, they lived outside and we had a big fenced in run for them to be in. During the day I would go walking and they would come along. My husband did most of the feeding and cleanup. When my husband got ill, and could not go out to them, they started breaking out of their pen, coming to the screen room crying for him. First the cocker died, later one of the terriers. In the end I was left with just a lab, but, where I moved north to, my brother-in-law does not allow pets, so Bootsie went to a good home, Funny how pets grieve for their owners like we grieve for them..Kathie

[D Connolly]

Yes, Leah was a great addition to our family

[Sheila Kline]

Bravo for you to have the heart and spirit to want to help these special animals! You get a gold star from me for having the patience to work with this little darling! I am glad Leah found you!!! There are times when we must resort to "out of the box" attitudes to gain the trust of others, and it seems as if your "treat avalanche" worked for this sweet girl, right to her heart through her belly!

[D Connolly]

Oh yeah, in the past week I've been so proud! She's made huge forward steps this week and I don't have to bribe her (much) anymore :)

[Shabeeh Haider]

That's one lucky dog. Better keep a balance between winning Leahs trust and making sure she stays healthy

[D Connolly]

thank-you for sharing! she doesn't get quite as much anymore, and she gets plenty of exercise chasing the greyhounds around :)