HOLLOW

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A mother remembers

Touching her round belly

Joy, mixed with fear always racing through her veins

A great day was soon to come

A day when heaven would open its gates

And release an angel

All in heaven would mourn

As they are departed from a precious friend

And a mother sheds her own tears

As she receives God's gift

Where heaven lose one she gains one

 

Eight years later

A mother touches her flat stomach

Sadness, darkness, and confusion race through her veins

An unusual silence spreads across the sky

A day where heaven rejoice

As an angel returns

 

A mother sinks into a muddy slate

Where her daughter rest

And so does a part of her soul

Emptiness harvest her spirit

And destroys her hope

As she eternally long

To hold her angel once more

 

 

Reviews

[Kenny L. Mitchell]

Profoundly touching..beautiful...and sad. Touching piece of work. Very good work!

[ICE]

This piece is filled with happiness and sorrow. It's like life...it has its ups and downs but hopefully you remember the good time instead of dwelling on the bad. If you believe in Heaven, you'll see her again.

[David Lewis Paget]

Very sad, and I'm sure that we all sympathise with the loss of a child. But there are a few typo's or grammatical errors here.
'As they are (de)parted from....
'Where heaven lose(s) one...
'A day where heaven rejoice(s)...
'Where her daughter rest(s)...
'Emptiness harvest(s) her spirit....
'As she eternally long(s)....

[Andrew]

I agree with bette i have no words, this is very sad and i am sorry for your loss

[Livana Lowell]

Oh the sorrow of departure from life. I love the switch in moods from happiness and joy to mourn and sadness. This was beautiful, I can't form any better words.

[Bette]

i dont know what to say, so sad, and i am sorry.

[~Princess~]

awww that's sad. It shows the intensity of the mother wanting to have one last day with her sweet beautiful baby girl angel and she was taken so fast, like in a blink of an eye. This is really good loved it. Keep up the perfection.

[Senseless whatever]

Awesome write. The expression and beauty in your opening stanza traps the reader. The descriptions and visuals in the second stanza smack the reader in the face and gut. The third stanza brings a tear.

[Lydia Blackwell]

This is why I love poetry, because it taps right into feelings that people have to hide all day long for one reason or another. But with poetry, you can let it out. Thank you for sharing this. It is very good.

[The Analog Kid]

You believe in God. That is half the battle. You will see her again in the arms of Jesus someday. What else can I say. Nice expression.