AFTER WE KISSED

This poem is a spin off of "THE WAY WE KISS"

My lips so anxious

Yerning for another shot

At gentle sweetness

Passion and burning desire

Creates a rot of spoil

Turmoil for those seconds

That we split

First my lips screamed

Encore…

Then my body followed

Seeking even more

What a moment of heat

Created by a sweet

Yet deadly kiss

That would set off the immoral

Demons of lust

Two bodies close

Ready to start the ritual of

Touching…

Rubbing…

Biting…

Needing…

Feeling…

Built up pressures

Ready to release

Throbbing butterflies

 

Reviews

[Ladie NiQue]

Whoa... very sexual and descriptive! AMAZING!! Good job..

[Kenny L. Mitchell]

ZANG woman! I needed a cigarette and a shower after reading this poem! VERY exotic, erotic and provocative. Kudos! SWEET!

[Comatose]

wow...very nice. I liked the imagery. ^^

[Jane Doe]

pretty i like it

[Millionth Muse]

Steamy indeed! What I liked about this was that you managed to get your point across without being too over the top, and also that you really kept a good flow throughout the entire work. Some really great imagery here too!

Suggestions: I think I would take out the elipses after the tag words of "touching, rubbing, biting, etc."...you could either leave them without anything or maybe italicize just those words to give the piece a little more movement. Nicely done though!

[David Lewis Paget]

And this is how it builds, especially after that first kiss with a stranger, once that deep physical attraction has placed you face to face for the first time. I do like the way you run the lines on, with that slight rhyme - 'a rot of spoil/turmoil' - 'that we split/first my lips' - 'Encore/seeking even more'. And then those butterflies...

[ICE]

Really great and passionate piece.

[~Princess~]

I love the passionate feeling in this one and how the mood grows intense wanting more. This was absolutely perfect. Good Job. Very well done.

[Glenn Davis]

Very well written, I don't know why but my favorite line here is the last one, "Throbbing butterflies". Great poem and very good flow and the passion is oozing out of every line.

[QuothCorvid]

"What a moment of heat

Created by a sweet

Yet deadly kiss

That would set off the immoral

Demons of lust" Well put!