THE UNKNOWN

     Tara sat on the edge of her bed after a long day of work. She leaned over to unlace her shoes when she glanced at a picture of her ex-boyfriend on her nightstand. She and her ex broke up a week ago, he forgot her birthday. She leaned over and picked the picture up. The picture was a still proposal of her ex kneeling down on one knee with a life savor in a jewelry box. Tara giggled as her thoughts flashed back to that day. "What a goofball" she mumbled as she put the picture back into its place.
     Tara's mind swirled, as she thought about calling her ex and patching things up. “If I call him first, he'll think he's out of the deep!" Tara stared at the picture on her nightstand.  "What the heck!" She thought aloud. She reached into her bag, which rested next to her on the bed, and pulled out her cell phone. All she had to do is hit talk, since his number was the only number she dialed.
     The phone rang, and rang, no answer. Tara became angry. In her selfish little way, she felt he should be available whenever she needed him to be.
Tara dialed the number again. The phone rang and rang and stills no answer. Tara's imagination took over and she accused him in her head of cheating with some gorgeous babe. That was not the case, as he watched her from his side of the realm. He reaches out for her, but could not touch her. He saw her, but she could not see him. The warping portal faded in and out, his time in between worlds was running out. He had to reach out and say good bye. Tara nor no other of the flesh knows of his accident. His body laid cold and disfigured from a long accidental fall down his basement stairs

Reviews

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

OMG. This is Bone Chilling. The tension in the air was just amazing. I felt the emotions throughout it all. You had sadness, confusion, immaturity, and passion all in the same piece. That was one intense ride for the size of this story. The story ends with tension. It left me feeling like I could have read more, but I still loved the way it ended. I love how it begins and ends with wonderful energy.

Genuine love rings out through the words. It's not watered down with anything that would dilute. Great job!

[Gregory H.]

Wow...this is the most amazing way on how our mind plays tricks on us...the way you demonstrated the thoughts of Tara was amazing...I have learned through previous incidents that on some things you just can't read between the lines...Perfect write...

100/100

AA
Gregory

[Kenny L. Mitchell]

Wow! A twist ending. I've had so many thoughts about what lies beyond lately. This is sorta of what I figured "death" to be. To be aware of what's here but be unable to affect anything. This is beauttiful, terrifying and thought provoking all in one broad stroke. Great work!

[~Princess~]

omg that is so sweet (tear) that's really a tear jerkier

[.]

not knowing is where the message hits hardest

[QuothCorvid]

I agree with some of the others I wish there could have been more. I was expecting him to have died in a car crash or something, the fall down the stairs was a surprise. Might want to put more into him watching her from the inbetween.

[ICE]

I kinda wanted there to be more to the story. I find it sad that she'll never know that he still loves her. A wonderfully sad piece. Good Work!

~ICE

[Ali_Avery~7]

aww... Thats so sweet. It's sad that she accused him of cheating instead of just thinking that something might be wrong, but it's probrably better that she doesn't know he's dead right then. He must really love her :)

[Mary]

l liked it, it was short and chillingly sweet:) I wish too that you would add more, but even if you don't this was very interesting for only a few paragraphs, great job!!!!