THE WAY WE KISS

Both hearts burning with passion
Eyes leveling out and starring at the lips
Waiting for a sign the head to turn
The body to lean in
Finally reading one another
We connect
Softly catching one another's lips
Caressing desire
Turning our heads
To douse the fires of our bodies passion
Soft… against the skin
Sweet…with tiny nibbles
Plump smooth cushions
Custom made just for me
Pulling away
While I hang on
To your bottom lip
Already wanting more

Reviews

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

I like the way your writing has these spikes of tension that pop up. I find it interesting how you can end on one of these spikes and still manage to bring closure to your work. This style of yours is truly unique. I really enjoyed the poem. I found it sensual and erotic, but not crossing the line. I admire how you [Censor] yourself and still invoke such passion in a reader. I saw everything so vividly, I could almost feel every word. Bravo. Bravo.

[Millionth Muse]

Another beautifully painted picture. You sure know how to turn on the sensual in your writing. :) My only suggestion is with line 3...well, it's a general suggestion really--when you're completely avoiding punctuation in a piece, it's best to break all lines where a natural pause would be (where we would usually put a comma). So "Waiting for a sign" and "The head to turn" should really be two lines. Overall, nicely done!

[Kenny L. Mitchell]

Hmm...kiss much? LOL. It's apparent there is a passion inside that flows into your work. If you don't feel..then how can you convey? I like this very much! Smooth!

[~Princess~]

omg i love this one too girl u got them whipped

[David Lewis Paget]

I don't think I've ever really analysed a kiss like this. Perhaps it's my age showing. The plump, smooth cushions have 'gang aft a glee' some time ago, and the bottom lip is probably only good for semolina these days. Ah, for youth - enjoy it while ye may!

[Hippy]

makes me want to be making out with my women this discribes alota what goes on its a very nice poem flows well making you want more

[Mary]

great description, it is really good!! i liked it,keep it up:)

[Comatose]

Very nice...I like your imagery.

[Laura Nikkinen]

The changes with the focalization here are nice, I agree with Senseless, and I like how you compare lips to an inanimate object. And like you hang onto the bottom lip, you leave the reading hanging too, expecting more.

[Senseless whatever]

I like the transitions. The peom starts from a third person, slow, observing. Becomes the couple, together beginning to move to connect, and ends as an individual perspective. very nice.