Chapter 16
An impatient knock at the door interrupted Conner just as he opened his mouth. He grinned at my sullen expression. "Come in," he called, looking towards the doorway.
The door swung inwards, and I pouted, expecting to meet William's cheery gaze. The expression was quickly wiped off my face, though, when I saw who was staring inside, looking entirely unimpressed as she took the two of us in, nestled on the carpet, my thigh pressed against Conner's.
"Ahem." The woman coughed, glaring down at us. Her hair was braided into a thick rope that hung over her shoulder, and her expression was colder than it had been the last time I'd seen her, but the woman standing in the doorway was instantly recognizable as the one who'd stood up for me when Marissa had tried to have me thrown out.
I gulped down the golf ball-sized lump that had appeared in my throat and forced a smile onto my face. Somehow, presumably because of Conner and William's careful planning, I'd managed not to run into any "unfriendly" Nephilim since the day we'd arrived. I'd almost forgotten about the other people sharing the building with us. I stared at the woman, dumbstruck. Thankfully, Conner said something before I was forced to.
"Hello, Jacqueline," he murmured cordially, pushing himself to his feet and pulling me up with him. "What can we do for you?"
"Caleb requested that you see him."
"Now?" Conner's expression was pained.
"Immediately." Jacqueline's tone was short and crisp, businesslike. For some reason, she seemed to be avoiding looking at me.
"Fine, I'll be on my way in just a moment."
"Actually, he asked that you both be present." Jacqueline's eyes flickered to meet mine momentarily, but her expression was unreadable.
"Both of us? Why does he need to see Stella, too?"
She shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine."
Conner grunted, exasperated, before turning to me. "You don't mind coming to see Cal?"
"I don't really suppose it matters if I mind, does it?"
Jacqueline rolled her eyes.
"Whatever," I sighed. "Let's do this, then."
"Excellent," Jacqueline smiled without any real humor, turning on her heel and marching into the corridor.
Conner and I glanced quickly at one another, each drawing strength from the other, before turning to follow Jacqueline.
My stomach somersaulted as we walked towards Caleb's study, each footstep that slapped against the hardwood floor resounding in my ears. I knew that I should be afraid of what Caleb might say or do, but all I could think about was the chance that he might be summoning us to tell Conner that it was time for me to go home. Hope blossomed inside my chest, though in my mind I knew that I was safest there, with Conner.
Conner is safe.
But, as much as I tried not to let myself hope for the impossible, an image of my mother's face kept creeping into my mind, her expression filled with relief that I had been safely returned to her.
We arrived at the door to the study, and Jacqueline paused, her hand resting on its heavy brass handle. She glanced back, looking to Conner. Conner turned then to me, his eyebrows drawn low and the corners of his mouth turned down, probably in reaction to my irrational excitement.
I smiled at him, trying to convey reassurance that I was fine. His right eyebrow twitched upwards, and he rolled his eyes. Then he took a deep breath, and nodded to Jacqueline.
The moment I stepped into the room my palms began to sweat. Caleb sat at his desk, looking for all the world like some retired billionaire, surrounded by splendor and lounging in an unnecessarily large leather chair, a familiar red velvet-bound book splayed open in front of him.
At first it appeared that he hadn't noticed our entrance, but after a few seconds it became obvious that he had simply chosen not to acknowledge it. After a very long and drawn out minute, he finally looked up at us, pushing his reading glasses up his nose as he did.
"Conner. Stella." He nodded at each of us in turn. "You may leave us now, Jacqueline." The corners of his mouth twitched upwards infinitesimally in what might have been affection as he dismissed her. She nodded sharply and spun on her heel, escaping the room and pulling the door closed behind her without a second glance at either me or Conner. The click that echoed around the room as the door shut was ominous.
Caleb propped his elbows on his desk, bringing the fingers of each hand in front of his face to form a steeple. He peered at us over his fingertips, eyes darting from Conner to me and back again. After a long and uncomfortable silence, he motioned to two chairs positioned across the desk from him. "Sit."
We obeyed in silence, and as soon as I was sitting down, as nervous energy started building in my chest, and I had to resist a sudden urge to stand up again. I kept my gaze locked on Caleb, determined not to bend to his commanding presence as I had the last time we'd met.
Conner cleared his throat, and I noticed his right knee was jumping up and down in agitation, invisible to Caleb on the other side of the desk. "Why did you call us here, Cal?"
I flinched at the disregard in Conner's tone, surprised that he would speak that way to someone who obviously held a high level authority over him.
The corners of Caleb's mouth twitched upwards into a smile. "Now, Conner, why must you be so relentlessly impatient? You need to learn to take things as they come."
Conner remained silent beside me, his jaw clenched in anger.
Caleb surveyed us both for a long moment. "I think it's high time we told Stella a little more about what's been going on for the past week, don't you?" His gaze slid back to Conner, whose eyes were suddenly wide. He looked absolutely terrified.
"Conner?" A sudden fear struck my middle, making my chest ache in response to the horror on my best friend's face. "What is it?"
Caleb smiled at me, and then at Conner. "Will you tell her, or shall I?"
Conner was silent a moment longer, until he had his expression under control. My heart thundered as possible reasons behind Conner's fear surfaced in my mind. Images of my mother's body, maimed and bloodied surfaced in my mind.
Is that why Conner won't let me speak to her?
"She isn't a part of this, Cal." Somehow, Conner's tone frightened me more than his expression had.
"A part of what? What aren't you telling me, Conner? Has something else happened?"
Caleb's expression became stern once more. "She became a part of this the second you decided to bring her to this House, Conner. I warned that you would have to face repercussions for your actions."
"But--"
"No," Caleb snapped. "You forget your place. Until you come of age, fledgling, my word is law."
Conner glared at the old man, his hands balled into fists on his knees. "She isn't of this world, Caleb. Don't force this on her." His voice was suddenly weary, as if all of the fight from only seconds earlier had disappeared from him.
Caleb was silent, and I took the opportunity to speak for myself. "Please, Caleb, can't I just go home?" Unexpected tears sprung to my eyes, making my throat sting. The thought of remaining locked away from the world indefinitely terrified me so much that I didn't even care what it was Conner had been hiding from me. All I wanted in that moment was to return home and let my mother know I was okay.
Caleb's expression softened into something that was almost gentle. "I'm sorry, Stella. That's just not an option right now."
I drove my teeth into my cheek in an attempt to stop the tears that stung my eyes from falling. Somehow, crying in front of Conner and Caleb at that moment would have been mortifying.
"Stella..." Conner's voice was raw with emotion, but I knew that it was just his channeling my own hurt.
"Don't," I whispered, pushing myself to my feet. "Just... don't." I stumbled from the room, desperate to be alone, away from Conner's near suffocating presence. I'd made two turns in what I thought was the direction of my room before I realized that there were no footsteps following mine. I slowed down then, catching my breath. I leant against a wall, taking in my surroundings warily. The corridor I was standing in looked frighteningly identical to almost every other corridor I'd travelled down since arriving more than a week earlier. I spun around, all of a sudden not sure if I'd made two turns since I'd left Caleb's study, or three.
I slid to the floor, drawing my knees up to my chest. I knew that Conner would find me soon, and I decided that I'd make the best of this unexpected time alone. I folded my arms over the tops of my knees, using them as a pillow. If I squeezed my eyes shut tight enough, I could almost begin to believe I was back at home in my bedroom.
The illusion was ruined, however, when I heard footsteps coming towards me. I sighed, wishing that I'd fled further from Caleb's study--I'd anticipated a little longer to compose myself. I looked up, expecting to see Conner standing above me, his expression unbearably sympathetic as he channeled my own melancholy. Instead, I found myself staring into Olivia's icy blue eyes, her expression about as far from sympathetic as it could get.
I gaped, all the air suddenly rushing from my lungs. I hadn't seen Olivia since the day I'd arrived, and I could quite happily say that she'd barely even crossed my mind in the past couple of days. Unfortunately, seeing her again--and with an expression of such obvious disdain--brought the weighty awareness of her scathing dislike crashing down upon my shoulders.
"What on earth are you doing?" The sarcasm in her voice was palpable.
"Sitting," I retorted, desperate to prove to her that I didn't care what she thought of the fact.
"Alone? Where are your lap dogs?" Olivia's tone would almost have convinced me that she didn't care, had it not been for a flash of something painful in her eyes at the mention of William and Conner.
"Looking for me, I'm sure," I shot, just for the satisfaction of making her scowl.
She snorted. "You really are just an insolent little girl, aren't you? You haven't got the slightest idea what you've gotten yourself into here, do you? You have no idea of our laws. You don't even care what will happen to them if you keep leading them along."
My cheeks flushed red, and I faltered, my defiant gaze falling to my knees. "I didn't ask for this," I murmured. "I'm not trying to take your place. I don't even understand what you're talking about."
"Don't flatter yourself," she hissed, venomous. "You could never take my place, no matter how highly you obviously think of yourself."
I gulped. "That's not what I meant."
Whatever retort Olivia might have thrown at me then was interrupted by footsteps heading in our direction. A moment later, Conner was standing in front of us, his expression guarded. "What's going on?" His gaze fell on Olivia, and she shrank away from the undisguised suspicion in his eyes.
"Nothing," we murmured together.
Conner frowned. "Good. Olivia, don't you have somewhere to be?"
The raw hurt in Olivia's expression almost made me feel sorry for her.
"Whatever," she growled, unsuccessfully affecting nonchalance.
Conner turned his attention on me then, apparently forgetting Olivia entirely. He knelt down in front of me, taking my hands in his. "I'm so sorry, Stella," he murmured, his eyes locking onto mine.
I heard Olivia's footsteps to the side of us as she left, but I didn't bother to watch her go. I was lost in Conner's eyes, in the kindness and caring that was radiating from him.
Tears I thought I'd suppressed sprung to my eyes, making them burn. "Have I ever told you that you're my best friend in the whole world?"
He laughed. "Not nearly often enough."
I smiled weakly, pulling one hand free to brush a strand of hair out of his eyes. "I love you, Conner."
He was silent for a moment, his expression unreadable. Finally he said, "And I you, Stella."
I sat in Conner's room, for the first time since we'd arrived in Melbourne. Well, for the first time ever, actually. I was beginning to understand why he'd never invited me over to his place back in Middle Lakes.
"Normal Nephilim furnishings?" I asked, waving my hand around us, indicating the room in general.
Conner's gaze followed the direction of my hand, frowning. "Well, you could say that."
"It's not though, is it? It's just you?" I pointed to a particularly pointy-looking axe mounted above his bed. "Isn't that a safety hazard?"
Conner laughed. "Well, the safety inspectors aren't around here very often lately."
I frowned. "Seriously, though, can't you move it or something? I'll just worry now that I know it's there."
He sighed. "Sure thing, Stels. Maybe later though, yeah?"
I rolled my eyes, unconvinced. "What do you need all the weaponry in your bedroom for, anyway? Are you expecting a raid at any moment?"
Conner's expression was deadly serious. "I never know what to expect."
I sighed. "Okay, so what's that thing for?" I asked, pointing to a mace that looked as though it would require both of us just to lift it.
"Trolls."
"What?" I spun around to face him, my eyes wide.
"I'm joking," he laughed. "It's decorative. Nate gave it to me for my last birthday."
"Geez," I whistled, "and all I got for my seventeenth was the latest Guitar Hero."
We both knew that I was avoiding talking about what had happened in Caleb's study, but I was happy to continue stalling, and it was quite obvious that Conner was, too.
"What did Olivia say to you before?" Conner asked, catching me off guard.
I grimaced. I'd been so focused on not discussing the conversation with Caleb, I'd forgotten all about avoiding the conversation with Olivia, as well. "Nothing, really."
"C'mon, Stella," Conner urged, sensing my discomfort.
I scowled. "Can't we just leave it?"
"I'd rather we didn't," Conner said, unusually pushy.
I frowned. "Fine. Just that I was an "insolent little girl," and basically that I'd never measure up to her where you or William are concerned. She mentioned something about how I don't know your laws and that I don't care what would happen to you if you broke them.” I tried not to wince at recalling the spiteful words.
Conner's expression darkened. "She's right about you not knowing our laws. The one she's referring to is our law of Eugenics. We are a dying race, Stella. Every generation we grow weaker. Our angelic blood becoming diluted from years of breeding with humans. Generations ago, a gift as useless as mine wouldn't even grant me acceptance into the order of The Fallen. If the Nephilim die off then there would be no one to fight back the darkness. Olivia has made it clear that she's interested in me. I've made it clear to her that I don’t reciprocate the feeling. You know that you're the most important person in the whole world to me, don't you?"
I flushed, my mouth becoming suddenly dry. After a long pause, I found my voice. "I know, Conner."
Conner studied me for a moment, his head tilted to one side, his expression unreadable, before continuing. "And as for you not being able to measure up to her..." he paused, the corners of his mouth turning down. "Yes, there may be ways in which she happens to be more... useful to me--purely because of her genetics--but as far as I'm concerned, you will forever be the superior human being."
A tiny gasp sounded from Conner's doorway, and the color drained from his face. Our heads whipped around together, just in time to see Conner's door close as Olivia fled the room, as silently as she'd entered.
"S**t." Conner jumped to his feet, crossing the room to the doorway in a couple of steps. "Sorry, Stels, I need to deal with this."
I nodded, mortified. No matter how much I disliked Olivia, I couldn't help but imagine how I would feel if our positions were reversed. A sharp pain tugged at my heart, and I knew that if I ever overheard Conner saying anything like that about me, something inside of me would shatter, irreparably.
I stood up from Conner's bed, moving to a bookshelf across the room in an effort to distract myself from what had just happened. I reached out to pick up a particularly worn-looking copy of Sun Tzu's "The Art of War", and a folded piece of paper fell from between the pages, flitting to the ground. I picked it up, not wanting to leave any evidence that I'd been snooping. As I got a closer look at it, a horrifying thought occurred to me. Unable to help myself, I unfolded it, only to have my fears confirmed.
I stumbled to Conner's bed, my legs giving out beneath me just as I got there. I stared at the piece of paper in my hand, my stomach heaving. I don't know how long I was sitting there before Conner came back into the room, but it was long enough that my limbs had finally stopped shaking.
Conner's expression was already drained as he entered the room, and when his eyes fell on me he looked positively ill.
"Stella?" Conner's voice was alarmed, and I stared at the wall above his head, refusing to meet his gaze. "Stella, what's wrong?"
Hot tears stung my eyes for the third time that day, and I chewed the inside of my cheek, willing them to disappear. That was when Conner caught sight of the note in my hand.
"Oh, God, Stella. It's not what you think."
I took a deep breath in an unsuccessful effort to steady my voice. "Really? Then what the hell is it, Conner? 'Cause I don't see how it could be anything but what I think it is. You'd better have a really damn good reason for having my letter to my mother stowed away in your bedroom."
Conner faltered, his mouth hanging open, apparently useless.
"That's right," I growled. "It's exactly what I think it is. Why would you keep this from her, Conner? And then hide it from me?"
"It was for your protection, Stella. For both of you." Conner's voice was small, and he was staring down at his hands.
"Don't give me that crap, Conner. What the hell must she think has happened to me?" I scrubbed at my cheeks, furious at myself for the tears that were leaking from my eyes. "You had no right. No right."
"I know," he whispered, taking a step towards me.
I flinched back, not even caring at the hurt it prompted in his eyes.
"This is why you wouldn't let me call her, isn't it?"
Conner's eyes fell to his feet, but he didn't say anything. His silence was as good an admission as I needed.
"I want to go home."
"No." Conner's voice was suddenly steady again, his eyes full of conviction as he stared me down, adamant in his decision to keep me his prisoner.
"Why?" I was pleading now, desperate to escape this place.
Conner's mouth twisted in reaction to my pain, but his eyes remained hard. "It's for your own safety, Stella."
"That's crap," I spat. "Stop feeding me that bull, Conner. Riverwood wasn't dangerous a week ago. What the hell's changed?"
"What's changed? What's changed is that a week ago six of our classmates were brutally attacked and murdered by a small legion of demons in broad daylight, basically declaring the existence of their kind to the entire world. Nothing will ever be the same. Everything has changed."
I fell silent, stunned, but the force of my anger could only be contained momentarily. "So what? What does keeping me locked up in some house in Melbourne do? If the world's different back in Riverwood, it's got to be just as different here."
"You won't have me to protect you back in Riverwood." Conner's tone was hard, and his expression unreadable.
"What?" I felt all the fight flow from my body, as I imagined going back to Middle Lakes alone.
"I can't leave now, Stella. They need me here."
"But--"
"I can't."
The finality in Conner's words broke through my resolve, and I fell silent. I realized then that it had been stupid of me to assume that if I'd gone home Conner would come with me, with all that was going on in the magical world. It occurred to me that the revelation of demons to the world would probably mean a lot of trouble for the Nephilim. That didn't make it hurt any less, though.
I stared down at my hands, balled into fists in my lap, as I slowly came to terms with what I knew I had to do. After a long and painful moment, I met Conner's worried gaze. "Can you take me back to my room now, please? I'd like to be alone."