Disconnect/Reconnect

Thoughts and words from many days of feeling numb, took a couple months to construct this piece. Ended up taking one poem that was two lines and combined it with another, and then added more edits.

I'm already exhausted from tomorrow.
Yesterday, I was nobody: just hollow.
The days in touch with reality, I know I need to change.
Impossible when joy is incompatible with something self contained.

Disconnect, rebirth of individual pains.
The feeling of being ashamed again, it begins to grow.
No longer in touch with where I am, a drifting ghost.
The dam cracks and shifts the elms.
Have to remind myself I'm still in the same realm.

Man in the mirror's gaze I do not recognize.
A spectre whom cannot feel it's pulse, nor it's crux-
Looking for any spark in the eyes,
An indication of light that's in flux.

Nonlinear flow: hours decay into minutes.
Panic ensues, what are the limits?
The extent to which my mind preys on itself,
Is only as deep as I have to spend escaping this hell.

Reconnect, the spirits of regret no longer arcane.
Exposing the nerve, I am myself again.
Start patching with gauze, try to comprehend-
Exactly what happened, how to amend.

Abolish the flares that give nascent to the blurring smoke.
Must raze the inferno from upon which I choke.

Author's Note

Leave feedback about anything. Syntax errors, grammar, or just leave your thoughts on how you felt. Did you hate it? Let me know. Love it? Let me know. Didn't make sense to you? Let me know.