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A Poem by D.

Not very well done, in my opinion, but someone else may enjoy it so I figured I'd put it out there.

There's a stain in my mind that gets too muddled with the thought of you,
and I shut down; no longer able to see the views - of joy,
or convince myself I don't need to avoid, harm to my stomach.
I appreciate the depth I had to climb out to this summit,
but when there's something calling and telling me to plummet,
I cannot wholly fight the notion within myself -
to not just leave this physical shell; I exist inside a perpetual state of doubt.
On the fence about whether I want to live or bow my head out -
the back door, so my lungs take a beating until memory's sore.
I feel like a w***e that is used up; daydreams of my neck being cut and bruised, but I know the contusions I went through when I was a youth was more then a life lesson for gratitude.
It opened my eyes, but I can't see the light when my headspace is completely derealized, and the colors are hueless.
I feel useless when it comes to the grand scheme of things.
Even my own best friends want nothing from me, just as I do with myself but that's a different story I'll share one day, with a note much like this that's honestly just craving
- some attention, affection; but extension is not what I need in my life.
I have an ambition of using a knife, or an exit mask; -
A few things that could smash the glass past and then I finally can pass into the other side.
I just need to set myself free. But honestly, that day will not come.
I'm too scared to con-front the skeletons in my closet or the robed one.
I'll find something to live for I guess, if not for myself then some kind of stress that will help me access my angelic wings.

© 2016 D.

Author's Note

It's abstract but also mostly written with my life in mind, so take it as you will - since you obviously don't know every aspect about my life. If you spot any grammatical errors, or if you notice anything with syntax, let me know, otherwise, just leave any advice, or constructive criticism, or just let me know if you really liked it, or one line even, thank you readers.