Oh My Knight - A Goddess Standing Beside A Princess

Pushed down by a beautiful goddess, helped up by a powerful knight with a game plan.

After a night to remember, 
I wake up in my bed under a sheet of sunlight, 
In a city like the lost Atlantis. 

My thoughts of last night are a blur,
I vaguely remember a party,
And two voices among whispers. 
"A goddess, 
A goddess, standing beside a princess." 
The only ones standing outside of costumes, 
In a room full of knights, 
Stuffed with masculine jewels. 

I walked to her with a mask-less face. 
With dry lips, I said, "Hi."  
But I got pushed away by her rolling eyes. 
The floor was like the sky,
I kept falling, waiting to hit the ground and die. 

At the feet of knights, I rose once again,  
At that, a knight slithered past,
Leaving his sword in my hand. 
Not knowing what to do,
I drew upon my imagination*. 
I defeated the goddess and avenged my soul. 

Later that night the goddess’ body was found, 
Beside the sword, I allegedly stole. 
Word broke out and a rumor roamed, 
Onto the streets, under the gloom. 

Then the sunlight touched my face. 
Opening my eyes I see it’s a new day.
The world is bright andI'lll walk 
Through this maze of city buildings,
Wearing a smile on my face,   
To show my sanity… after that revolution.

1/22/2016      

Pen name: Cyprian Van Dyke 

Author's Note

Footnote: If you imagined you did something, did you really do it?
This is just a hint to understanding my story here.

I'm interested in knowing what kind of writer I am.
What made reading it worthwhile?

Reviews

[Sweet]

My love for fantasy drew me into this poem, that reads to me like a beautiful story.
I find the story it tells very interesting and intriguing, it left me pondering and seeking for the meaning behind this dream.
I'm still wondering, why did he kill her? Was it to because she rejected him and his pride/ego was hurt? What about the princess? Did he kill the Goddess so he can be with the princess? My brain just runs wild with so many questions XD
Thank you for sharing this poem, I really enjoyed it, it was very entertaining ^_^

And to reply to your author's note. I don't think I can really define what kind of writer you are, but from the stories you wrote, I see your style as fiction/fantasy, which I love. You have an overflowing imagination that gifts you with awesome stories, I hope you keep writing more of them =D

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Thank you for your review!
Yes, that is why. No he had not interest in the princess.
Thank you for answering my question in the authors note. It's a help to me.

[Sweet]

Your welcome ^_^ Ah ok, makes sense, thx for answering my questions, but then it stills makes me wonder what happened to the princess then XD (I know... I think too much about small things lol)

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Now that you said, "small things," let me ask you a question.
What if i told you that he didn't kill the goddess, but that he was willfully framed? Which is true and true i didn't say that and i understand why my readers would not come to that conclusion. I', sure it's not the first time a writer was blinded into thinking he was writing something he was merely thinking. Every time i re-read i followed the characters a different way.

[Sweet]

O_O wow, brain running wild even more now XD
When I first read this poem, I was wondering why the knight gave him the sword... Then I thought, well maybe he just dropped it on accident... Nah, a knight wouldn't be that dumb/clumsy... maybe he wanted to help the guy seek revenge.... hmmm, maybe...?

*I read it once again. grasped a few details*
"At that a knight slithered past, Leaving his sword in my hand... I drew upon my imagination.
I defeated the goddess and freed my soul. ... Beside the sword i allegedly stole."

Now that you mention it and I put all the pieces together, the idea of him being framed seems so clear, it makes complete sense.
Why the knight killed the Goddess is a mystery, but he was cunning enough to frame someone else. (Maybe the princess paid the knight so he kills the Goddess so she could reign in her stead. Or the Goddess was a tyrant and the knights wanted to get rid of her... I'll stop here with my random thoughts lol)
Thanks for this new perspective, it made me love the poem even more ^_^

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Lol, no a knight wouldn't be so dumb i suppose. I like the way you said it.
Yes, you got it! The knights wanted to get rid of her. The last line said, "revolution."
The goddess rejected the man so cruelly that it made the knight realize a revolution was necessary. But the night gave him the credit by cleverly framing him.
You cracked the case! Thank you for your comment. It was thrilling to read! Thank you for putting the effort in understanding it!!!! HUGS

[Sweet]

Yay !!! I solved the case. "Every puzzle has an answer!" lol, np. It was fun for me. I always like to understand things, and when a problem is not solved it can bug me a lot XD
If you add mystery in your future stories, I'd delight myself in trying to solve them too ^_^
But mystery or not, your stories have been great so far. *hugs*

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Okay, thank you. I'm always trying to progress with wisdom.
Thank you for the compliment. Your writing has been remarkable too by the way!

[Sweet]

That's great ^_^ keep up the good work! I'll keep trying my best, thx.

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Thank you! And you're most welcome!

[Antoñyo]

Vividly-written piece of a time and moment that successfully takes the reader 'away'

I enjoyed this, Thanks for sharing

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Thank you, very very!

[Shabeeh Haider]

A dream blending with reality. Powerful use of phrases. You have overcome the goddess, you have prevailed.
Is this a hint at some weakness that you have overcome in real life, or some demon that needs to be overcome.
It is good in the sense that the reader has to fill up those spaces that you have left unclear.
What happened to the knight who gave you his sword? Why did he give you his sword?
An interesting tale.

*shabeeh*

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Thank you for your insightful comment! Yes in a way it is a hint to a real life challenge. Leaving something missing gives the reader a reason to let their thoughts fly over the missing piece, instead of me having to walk them threw it. :) Thank you again!

[Daydreamer]

Different and unique would be an understatement.
There is a strong voice here very distinctive to its genre.
One might assume fantasy but I'd like think the reality of our complex minds can often trick us into thinking we made it all up, when the truth is something much more than we imagined..
Thank you for sharing this intricate piece of your 'imagination'.

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Thank you for your insightful comment! I like the way you think. I think the source of that unknown borderline reality is dreams. I think we remember more than we know. Thank you again!

[Sheila Kline]

The title caught my attention as I am ever interested in the lure of knights and princesses, kingdoms, and even dragons. The way you have mixed fantasy with reality is interesting and to know that you broke out of the fantasy into the reality of life and memory of what was brings it all together.
I agree with Jacob that it would be good to have at least one line in the last stanza about the knight, or the Goddess. Perhaps you are the God of the story and your sanity is the victory and that would be enough - or maybe your soul now free from the fantasy and living now in reality is the end of the fairy tale.

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Thank you very much!

I just replied to Jacob's comment. You've captured my point of view when you said, "Perhaps you are the God of the story and your sanity is the victory and that would be enough," all with the exception of the god part. By "sanity" i meant the man's 'self esteem', i was thinking about changing it to that. The last stanza is not out of context. It has more to do with the beginning and the aftermath of what happened to him in the story, than that said story. Thank you for your comment!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

a fantasy mixed with reality...and it works very very well indeed---
I like the knight and princess thing but would like to see it brought back in the last stanza...to carry the metaphorical dream all the way through the poem.

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Thank you very much for your comment! I've been thinking about what you said. Though i agree that repetition is a terrific idea! I fret over the probability that the last stanza is misunderstood. The last stanza is not out of context. I fear I've used the wrong word to explain its significance, namely "sanity". Do you think 'self esteem' instead would reveal the last stanzas relativity to the rest of the story? I understand that the last stanza doesn't convey the same imagery of knights, or a goddess, but i did that on purpose to show the rejections impact or aftermath after the revolution, which was her death. I appreciate your comment very much and looking forward to reading your reply.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i'll have to ponder that one...

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Lol, alright. I didn't mean to blab. Sheila Kline agreed with your comment, but then she said "Perhaps you are the God of the story and your sanity is the victory and that would be enough." By "sanity" i meant 'self esteem' or 'sound mind.' It's hard to edit when you care about perspective lol.

[AYVID N]

Very interestingly portrayed. It read like a beautiful, fanciful dream...as if the dreamer conquered a weakness...appreciated much...

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Thank you, dear! Thank you for your perspective, it's very much appreciated!

[AYVID N]

You are most welcome. It made for quite a different read.