To hell with all your status updates (Poem)

To hell with all your status updates, I want to know about the things you won't say.
All the passions that lie behind your eyes, that never reach your fingertips.
All the pain shuttered from your day-to-day mind, closed off behind your lips.

Post the picture of you sitting alone in your room,
Covering your sobs with a stereo boom.
I want to know the side of you kept hidden
And every little detail that society says is forbidden.
Post the picture of the bruises and flying fists
As you hide the cuts on your wrists.
I want to know the anger you keep inside
And all the feelings you are forced to hide.

Tag me, baby, so I’ll know you’re alive.

To hell with character limits, I want to know of all the things you won’t say.
All the sadness in your chest buried in your memory, next to the forgotten love.
All the secrets kept from your diary out of fear, which you refuse to speak of.

Post the picture of you driving alone late at night,
Blasting the music that convinces you you’re alright.
I want to know what you were thinking then
So update me before you can never think again.
Post the picture of the empty beer bottles in the dash
Before the news posts the picture of the car crash.
I want to know the sadness that forced you to ride
Drunk and half blind with all the tears you’ve cried.

Mention me, baby, so I’ll know you’re alive.

Author's Note

Finally finished! I've been working on this for awhile. What do you think? Anyone think I should change something?
Edit: Updated due to a suggestion :)
Edit #2: Removed reference to "140 characters" and replaced with "character limits" because that's somewhat timeless and better wordplay.

Reviews

[Green]

Probably one of my favorites. It was just so true and I don't even know how to describe it, it just drew me in and I wanted to keep reading it. That's always a neat feeling to get when reading someone's stuff.
But I think my favorite parts, because I actually had two, was whenever you mentioned the person using music to make themselves feel better or hide their cries because I've totally been there but I also liked how you kept saying, 'take a picture'. Just seemed so symbolic to me since so often the only pictures we take are of us smiling or happy while there's a whole other side that no one ever gets to see.
I'm really just rambling now so I'll stop but Good job.

[Pale Rose]

Thank you for such a detailed review and for your praise! It means a lot to me :)

[.........]

It's a modern lyrical story. I love this, and I really didn't think I would, but I do. Like a lot. It displays the thought processes of someone who just wants IN on someone's story, passing through the facades and lies-- and into a truth that nobody ever sees. It's amazing, because I can picture this being sung, but at the same time it shows that maybe you, the "singer" or the author, are not revealing whether you yourself are innocent, but the "Tag me, baby" and "mention me, baby" -"so i'll know you're alive" really makes it sound like a catchy song to me, but it's deeper than just catchy. It means something; it's calling out to people who hide. The only thing I'm not a fan of is using terms like "twitpic" and things like that. Yes, i see that you're obviously referring to something online and all that, but I think it should just be more of "post the picture" instead of "twitpic". Idk, really an irrelevant change but for some reason it seems to sit better for me. Anyway, I love it!

[Pale Rose]

Thank you for the review and the (so rare!) constructive criticism. I've made some changes to it based on your feedback. Also, the idea that it could be a song is really interesting--I didn't notice it, but that fits in well the music symbolism and all that. Thanks~~