What It's Like (To Fall)

These burgeoning emotions that fill me

seem ready to burst out of my chest.

   The lust that torments me everyday

   now aimed at you like a bullet.

      The loneliness even more poignant

      because I want you near me.

         The pain of my life overwhelms,

         like mortar in the walls between us.

            The sadness blackens the words

            I wish I could say, and the ones you do.

               The ____ I have never voiced,

               yet I feel my heart screaming it.

            And yet, what cruel misery it'd be

            to run from what is freely given.

         To think, in one breath I could erase

         a life of longing and loneliness.

      But that would erase everything

      I am; all I've ever known thrown away.

   I struggle with all my strength against it,

   so why can't I stop thinking of you?

Is this torrent of hope and pain

What it's like to fall in ____?

Author's Note

This is brand new~, so I could really use some critiques.

New version: Met someone new, so I had to revise this! Improvement, I hope...

Reviews

[Sweet_pale_cacophony]

You have such a lovely,honest voice @pale rose.I hope your honesty in your words is always retained for that makes your writing much authentic.

[...and some ideas.]

if i go along with the context, it is not a bad fall :),
i mean, falling down could be much worse...or maybe you ment that it stays lovely and empowering...

[Chirpy!]

Wow. That was so beautiful and real! I loved the form of it, too. Like an arrow of emotion! *-* And, of course, every line so...balanced. You can go to any line and it can stand alone and still make sense!