a mind plagued by the lies of ghosts

Delusions about one of my closest friends put into the form of a poem.

you always say

i am but a beautiful

prodigious cliche

although delusional

thats excusable

remarkably unusual

but i always knew

that all your medicine

came with a spoonful of sugar or two

because i never mattered as much to you

as what you made seem true

but this i wont undo

i know that you're

standing at my door

a knife in hand

this is what you had planned

im sorry but i

Author's Note

This poem is in complete lowercase to compliment the mood.

Reviews

[emipoemi]

This is.....wow! I'm speechless at the power this has!! I do have a couple of notes, if I may: The last line of Stanza 2 is not necessary (the line before it holds a lot of power that the stanza should end with that, and that last line be dispensed with). Also, we get a small sense of what "try" is supposed to suggest, but by saying "try", we're expecting that something proceed it, or to find a previous line in close proximity suggesting a clear battle against something. Otherwise it would be best to have a straggler (a line after the last rhyme just to finish things off).....or make the straggler rhyme. I can tell the crossed-out "die" is for aesthetic purposes, but "die" can fall on a down beat with power, and end the poem, whereas "try" without clear understanding what the subject is "trying" to do cannot fall on that down beat with a bang, and end the poem in the same way. A bit more is required. But other than those two notes, the imagery of this piece, is vivid, the musicality is brilliant, and it's overall a great poem. Well done.

[Pandy]

I'm glad you like it! I agree with most of what you said. I wanted to keep the poem uniform with it being my first, because for some reason I thought I wouldn't be greeted by the nice, loving community of this website if I had just followed my heart. I originally wanted to leave it at, "I'm sorry but I," but I was too fearful. I'll edit this because I really think this poem will benefit greatly from your advice. Thank you so much!

[emipoemi]

with pleasure.

[motley poetry (special ..]

This is awesome. Keep expressing your thoughts!

[Pandy]

Thank you! I'm really happy you enjoyed my first poem. I was pretty nervous about my first impressions and didn't think they were good enough.