The Toy Maker

Maybe I'll extend this more than a short story?

Mr. Gerald Coop was a tall leafish man more commonly known to the town of Sunny Gloom as The Toymaker. He owned a shop located in the town's market. Like all town markets, Dimmer Square was located right in the middle of the town. Merchants of all kinds put up shop to sell their goods. Many of the merchants were travellers during the summer and brought home rare items from all over the country to sell during the winter. The few shop owners that stayed behind were skilled workers that worked from home. They'd craft their art with local supplies from the forests, mines and ports.

The Toymaker was one of those skilled workers. He'd create the finest toys for miles and miles. Travellers would come just to purchase these legendary toys for their children. He'd carve out train sets from wood, make toy steam boats puff smoke using coal from the mines, and he'd build submarines from scrap metal found by the port. But there was one toy Mr. Coop was impressively skilled at, puppets. He was a master puppeteer and every summer he would put together shows in front of his shop for the boys in the town.

See, Sunny Gloom was unlike any other town. In this town, women and girls weren't allowed in Dimmer Market. In fact, women weren't allowed much outside the home. The men gathered, the men worked and the men brought home the necessary items for their wifes. Women had to obey their husbands and the daughters had to be taught to follow in the shadow of their mothers. Boys on the other hand, were allowed to do as they pleased. They were allowed in the market, they were allowed toys and they were encouraged to read and write. Sunny Gloom was a mechanical town. Steam and metal was it's finest production. There was no need for women other than staying at home tending to their house wife duties.

Sunny Gloom at night, however, was a very dangerous place. Things happened at night that were unexplainable. Homes would be locked by heavy machinery the men bolted together to protect their families. Basements were a must-have in every home. Infact, all homes where underground. The only things above ground were the doors which opened a long hall that lead underground. Shops and businesses were allowed above ground since they were heavily monitored and sealed by important men. Nobody saw these important men but they stayed away. Bad things had happened to those who wandered near them.

There was a very hidden secret in this town. Everyone knew that. Nobody knew what this secret was though. There was always something suspicious drifting through the musty air in the markets. Every night after the shops would close, one man would stand in his office looking down at the streets. Small beady eyes lurking in the darkness with a wicked smile. Men who had seen these eyes would tell tales about the person they belonged to. These eyes would look down from the two story building in the main market. Men never saw a face but they knew the person was the most important person in the town.

One day, it was rumoured, these eyes called for The Toymaker. Mr. Coop closed shop that night and was never seen again. The only memory that lingered in his shop were the newly carved puppets that were displayed the next day...

Reviews

[Max Hernz]

Lol, yeah, I wrote this at 6 in the a.m. one day. I hadn't slept in 2 days. But thank you for your feed back. I will definitely look more into it. This is just one of those stories that was put together without pondering too much or having a direction. =]

[Celeste]

This was an interesting story to read. Although I did spot a few grammatical mistakes. I suggest reading through it again, or running it on a spell-checker so you can edit those out. c:

Also, I think you should make your writing more descriptive. Sometimes what you're describing or narrating tends to become vague, so I suggest fleshing it out some more. In relation to that, the feeling or the tone of the story wasn't that felt.

When you were talking about Sunny Gloom at night, you should /show/ the readers why it was dangerous. Make them /feel/ that it's dangerous, don't just tell them.

This story has great potential! I really did like the twist at the end. c:

Keep writing!