She Enters My Head

crushcrushcrush - Paramore

    I took a walk last night. Under the moonlight, a stroll, and nothing more. I wrote a poem for the moon once. It went something like…

… let me remember. It has been quite a while since I have looked at the poem. So, I can’t quite tell you off the top of my sweaty head at the moment. Ah, yes, it went something like,

“Silver moon, cry a tune;

A melody to heal my wounds.

Whisper sooth, to my gloom,

Serenity, let flow, oh moon.

Crimson moon, do you loom,

Where winter greets such torrid doom?

Calm my fume, for I too,

Lament my needs with dismal tunes.

Wrap me moon, oh, tender boon.

In your embrace hide me 'till noon.

Gentle moon, free me soon.

Exhilarate my somber mood.

Sing lullabies 'till warmth is nigh.

Sing lullabies 'till come the night.

Oh, moon, blue moon, high in the sky,

Sing all through out the winter night.

    Actually, that is the fourth part of a whole other poem. But still, it’s about the moon. I write many pretty lines for the moon. I have another one called Moonlit Lullaby. However, that is for another day. Or night. Which ever comes first, right?

    I ended up not going to The Neon Rose after all. Those Black Suits left me so exhausted. I couldn’t think. I sat at the edge of my street. The only house in my short cul-de-sac is mine. And I like it that way. There are other neighborhoods with other houses. They are not near mine though. ‘Cause I like it that way.

    After the Black Suits left, I went to sit under the tree at the edge of my street.  I watched my crows.

    My little murder of shiny birds. It looks like they took a dip in oil; all liquid black - blue with silky feathers. They know me because I feed them, mostly raw beef. And they bring me presents in return. I have named them after murder weapons. Because, you know… they are a murder of crows? I thought it was fitting.

    So there I sat, throwing small chunks of raw beef cubes for them to eat. One for Axe. One for Katana. Two for fatty Chainsaw. Otherwise, he’ll bug the others for an extra piece. One for my shy, concealed weapon: Glock. She’s shy, let her.

    So, again, there I was, sitting there feeding my murder. Then, out of nowhere, a small green truck passed by slowly. My murder and I stopped doing what we were doing and watched it slowly drive by. I’ve never seen that truck before. I got a good look at the driver though. A girl with black hair. Her hair was in two messy buns, one on each side of her head. From each bun fell strands of fine hair. Her face was a pale white. Her lips were thick with black lipstick. She looked at me. My heart froze. Could she be The Winter Queen with her white face and black laced sleeves? How dare she stun me with her gaze!

    I think my jaw fell to the ground because my shy girl, Glock, cawed at me. I turned to her. But by then, the stranger with the messy buns had passed. I swallowed hard.

    “What was that all about, guys?” I asked them. The crows. When I looked up, that green truck had faded away. Away. Away into the horizon. Hmmm, who was that? I thought. Nobody really passed by here unless they were going to the docks that were a few miles behind my little cul-de-sac street. And even then, the workers didn’t really like to take this road because of all the trees and of course, My Little Murder. I’m ok with that.

    However, that girl didn’t seem like she worked at the docks. That was the weird part. As I sat there pondering this strange occurrence, my crows continued pecking at the beef I had provided for them. I sat there until night fell and My Moon showed up.

    “Hello, Moon.” I remember saying with a smile. And then the night flowed gently, like an embrace. I told the moon about the stranger. The moon listened with a silvery breeze. I got up from the sidewalk and walked up and down my street. I talked to the moon about my crows, about the stranger. I talked to it about the Black Suits, and also about the stranger. I think…. I couldn’t get that stranger’s face out of my head because I kept bringing her up. Why, though? Like, but why?!

    That leads me into today. I wake up to my pillow soaking wet from sweat. It is 10 a.m. and the stranger’s face is STILL lurking in my mind.

    I’m up. I’m up, ok?

    If she is gonna stay in my head all day… naw. I kinda wish the Black Suits would come today so I won’t think about that thick black lipstick. I have coins to flatten! Yeah, that will distract me. What is wrong with me? Like how can she just drive by and imprint her ghost in my head? Like, hey, I looked at you and transferred myself into your mind and now you have to live with my powdery face staining every inch of your dark hallways.

    No! I shall go flatten some coins at the rail road tracks. Oh, yeah, the train also passes by here too. So, I go there often to flatten coins. I just like the heat of the coins against my fingers. I put on a shirt that is hanging from the arm rest of my couch. I take off my shorts and slip into my skinny jeans. I heard someone say they were out of style, I think. Eh, I don’t really care. I put on my Vans. Let’s go! Rumble by the tracks!

    I almost forget the most important thing: The Coins! I grab a few pennies from the ash tray on the coffee table. I don’t smoke but I like this ash tray. It’s more like a coin holder. When I come back, I will drop the flatten pennies in the big mason jar full of, yep, flattened pennies. I drop the pennies I grabbed into my jean pockets. I rub my hands together and walk out the door. The sun is already being rude; with it’s big bright smile shinning down on me. I take a deep breath. On my way, I am.