How we met

Love on the internet. A short modern day playwright on dating in cyberspace. When FREDDOFROG88 mets METALGODDESS expect the unexpected.

How we met

A tragicomedy

 CAST

FREDDOFROG88

METALGODDESS

 

The street-view of a tenement building. In a lonely young professional’s flat, clean, bare, with a noticeable obsession of Anime. We begin in the computer room of FREDDOFROG88. There is a catalogue workstation setup, a desk in black-brown from the EXPEDIT range by Ikea, accompanied by a black MARKUS swivel chair, also by Ikea. On the desk is a 27” imac.

To the left of the desk, is a window with a second level view of the bustling street below.

To the right of the desk is his favourite illustration ‘Uprisings’ by Kozyndan.

At the back left of the room is a shelf stocked with his Anime film and caricature collection, and to the right his small collection of weights. In the middle is the doorway which leads out to hallway.

 

Directly next door to FREDDOFROG88 is the residence of METALGODDESS. The apartment is tidy and well kept, though has a sense of clutter. There are many objects that resonate an interest in heavy metal music. We start in the bedroom of METALGODDESS, which lies on the opposite wall of the workstation of FREDDOFROG88.

On this wall there is a large black desk, on the desk is months of bank statements, phone bills, and other various post, all in an unstructured arrangement. In between the disorder sits a HP laptop. On the wall in front of the computer are many photos and memorabilia of past travels.

To the right of the desk, is a window with a second level view of the bustling street below. To the left of the desk is an open wardrobe overflowing rack of alternative apparel, accompanied by a set of drawers with a large mirror. On the back wall is a queen sized bed with red duvet covers and an excessive arrangement of pillows of various colours and textures.

To the left of the bed is the door which leads onto the hallway.

As the Curtain rises FREDDOFROG88 is entering the computer room. Simultaneously METALGODDESS is unchanging in her bedroom whilst listening to ACDC.

 

METALGODDESS, standing in the middle of the room pulling off her trousers, she reaches over to the laptop on her desk and presses the power button. She unselfconsciously moves with the beat of the music, with a gentle head bang movement she slides on her home pants and a t-shirt. She sits at her desk and logs into RSVP.

FREDDOFROG88, enters the computer room, sits down hastily in his swivel chair and reaches for the power switch to his imac. He gazes out his window onto the street below, sighs. He turns back to the computer, reaches for the keyboard, signs into RSVP.

METALGODDESS: [With a smirk on her face.] Ribbit, Mr Frog. Fancy seeing you here again. X

FREDDOFROG88: [Eyebrows raised.] You are a goddess. How could a man not return?

METALGODDESS: Well I’m glad. These nights we spend together seem to be the only excitement in

my life right now. That says a lot about me doesn’t it. Sigh. J How was work today?

FREDDOFROG88: You’re not the only one. I just ran home from the station. Seriously. I don’t know

what’s come over me. You drive me crazy. Work was fine. Same old. Top gun bankers calling

non-stop. Me: “Hello, IT. Have you tried turning it off and on again? Uh... okay, well, the button on the side, is it glowing? ...yeah, you need to turn it on... uh, the button turns it on... yeah, you do know how a button works don't you? No, not on clothes.”[1]

METALGODDESS: [She laughs out loud.] Roy? The IT Crowd? 

FREDDOFROG88:  You got it.

METALGODDESS: It’s funny isn’t it? In this virtual world I feel like I know you so well…I feel a bit

like Kathleen from ‘You’ve got mail’. I quote.

“I pretend that we're the oldest and dearest friends -- as opposed to what we actually are, people who don't know each other's names and met in a Chat Room where we both claimed we'd never been before.”[2] I hate to admit it but I do love that movie.

FREDDOFROG88: Funny you mention it. I actually do the whole speak-while-typing thing they do.

Every time I chat to you I imagine you’re doing the same thing. Are you? Say yes. Please out of

sympathy. I feel ridiculous. Please.

METALGODDESS: Oh you are too cute Mr Frog. Let me think…to embarrass or not to embarrass.

FREDDOFROG88: [He cuts her off.] Say yes!

METALGODDESS: Ummmmmmm.

FREDDOFROG88: Yes?

METALGODDESS: Yes. You’re lucky I’m just as odd as you are. J

FREDDOFROG88: Phhheeeww. So tell me. How was your day at work little lady?

METALGODDESS: Yeah good I guess. Feeling a little uninspired at the moment. Interesting start to

the morning though. I was very very very late this morning. Got to love city transport. Our train just stopped in between stations, for about 20 minutes we sat there…nothing…not even an announcement from the driver…

FREDDOFROG88: [With a very inquisitive expression.] …and then ‘crackle crackle �" um eh I’m really

sorry about the delay folks…and I hope you believe me…because I don’t really believe it myself…but there is a family of pigs on the tracks. That’s right Babe and co.’

METALGODDESS: [With confusion.] Stop it. I was on that train.

FREDDOFROG88: [He scratches his head.] Really?

METALGODDESS: [Hesitation.] Speechless.

FREDDOFROG88: I’m curious now. Where do you get on? Please don’t answer if you don’t feel

comfortable.  I’ll understand. I just can’t believe we catch the same train.

METALGODDESS: You’re not a crazy stalker?

FREDDOFROG88: Not the last time I checked.

METALGODDESS: This has just turned real hasn’t it? I now have to trust you Mr Frog.

FREDDOFROG88: You’re right. I don’t know if I’m ready…

METALGODDESS: Yarraville. I can’t believe I just said that.

FREDDOFROG88: Me too.

METALGODDESS: What?

FREDDOFROG88: Me too.

METALGODDESS: [Blank.] We’ve probably met. This is out of control. Do you think it’s a sign?

FREDDOFROG88: A sign?

METALGODDESS: That we need to meet.

FREDDOFROG88: Yes.

METALGODDESS: Really?

FREDDOFROG88: Safe place?

METALGODDESS: The Corner Store?

FREDDOFROG88: Love that place. Yes.

METALGODDESS: Saturday?

FREDDOFROG88: Done.

METALGODDESS: 12:30?

FREDDOFROG88: Perfect.

METALGODDESS: I’m excited.

FREDDOFROG88: I am going to actually SPEAK to you.

METALGODDESS: I know.

FREDDOFROG88: I remember you saying you lived in an apartment overlooking a busy street.

METALGODDESS: And I remember you saying you did as well?

FREDDOFROG88: Can you see the Corner Store from your apartment?

METALGODDESS: Yes. Can you?

FREDDOFROG88: Yes.

METALGODDESS: Wait there. I’m just going to try something.

FREDDOFROG88: [Waiting.] What do you mean?

METALGODDESS: [Knocks on the wall]

---

[1] The IT Crowd, Series 1, Ep. Yesterday’s Jam.

[2] You’ve Got Mail (1998)

Reviews

[koopa]

Good. Quite modern. Nice and rounded short. Freddofrog88 is a great name, I think. I really like where and how it ends. The ideas behind the story are great too.