Draw With Me

Vent writing. Heavily inspired by Mike Inel's "Draw With Me" animation on YouTube. Go look it up, it's pretty awesome.

Do you know what it’s like to be alone?

No, I mean, like, seriously alone.

You’re the only one of your kind.

You’re the only one that has the physical ability to think and feel on such high levels.

There’s so few of you, and you’re all so spread out that you can’t see each other.

So, you’re alone.

Nobody else gets you.

Nobody can get as high as you can.

Nobody can reach that state of cloud nine like you can.

They can’t dream like you.  They can’t feel as much like you.  They can’t think as deeply as you.

It’s just you.

Do you know what it’s like to create your world?

Starting from birth, with wooden blocks, and building an empire?

As you grow, it grows with you.  There’s more imaginary friends there.  There’s more fun.

You’re scared of reality.

No one understands you there.  Again, they can’t physically think, feel, and dream like you.

They judge you.  They hit you.  They tease you.  They bully you.

You try to survive in their world.

You wear a fake smile so they won’t think something’s wrong.

If something’s wrong, your problem is so deep and complex their minds don’t know how to fix it.

Because you’re not like them.

So you try to act normal, stoop to their level, wear a mask, and show no pain for the sake of trying to have real friends.

If you try to show your real self, they run.

It’s not like it’s something you can help.  It’s you.  You can’t hide it forever.

Nothing’s wrong with you.  You’re just being you.  You can only wear a mask for so long.

So you try not to visit as often.

You can’t survive in their world, and they can’t in the one you made.

So you sit, alone.

Behind a glass wall.

Watching everyone else have real friends.  Real love.  Real support.

They know how to help each other.  There’s no help for you.

When they come up to the wall and try to talk to you, you can’t hear them.  They can’t hear you.

No matter how much you talk, they still don’t hear or understand you.  They don’t get you.

So you draw and write on the wall.

Passing messages back and forth.

You try to show them YOU.  You try to cry out for help, for someone to try and help you.

You start writing on the wall.

They get confused.

You’re weird.  You’re strange.  You’re insane.  You’re different.  You’re an attention hog.  You’re a baby.  You’re immature.  You’re never going to grow up.  You’re never going to amount to anything.  You’re going to die alone.  You’re an idiot.  You’re stupid.  You’re going to sit on that side of the wall with your imaginary friends, the only ones that get you, and become nothing.  You’re never going to make it.  You’re this.  You’re that.  You’re going to be punished for being you.

They walk away.

You sit there and scream, sob, bang on the wall.  You’re sorry.  You’ll keep wearing the mask.  Just please don’t leave.  Anything but that.  Please come back.

Please don’t leave me alone.

It’s cold.  I’m hungry.  I’m afraid.  I want a hug.  I want a kiss.  I want to belong.  I want to exist.  I want to hang out.  I want to share secrets.  I want to love you.  I want to draw you stuff for your birthday.  I want to share my world with you.  It’s lonely with just me on this side.  I want support.  I want someone to talk to.  I want someone to catch my tears.  I want someone to hold my hand.  I want someone to tell me I’m normal.  I want someone to tell me it’s okay.  Please tell me nothing’s wrong with me.  Please come back.  I’ll do anything, please come back.  I know I’m hard to handle, and hard to understand, but we can work together.  I want someone to have deep conversations with.  I don’t want to just laugh and have a good time.  I want to have something meaningful in our relationship.  

Please come back.  Please.  Please, I’m begging you.  I know it’s hard to get me because I’m so different, but please at least try.  Give me a chance.  I’m sorry God made me this way.  I’m sorry I can’t change.  I’m sorry that no matter what I do, it’s never enough.  I’ll try harder, I swear.  Just please don’t leave me alone.  I don’t want to die alone.

You there, you’re reading this, aren’t you?

Yes you, the reader.  You with the worried, concerned, “Should I message her?” expression.

Why are you standing there?

Do I scare you too?

I’m sorry you saw that little tantrum.

Please, come over here.  Talk to me.

I want to get to know you.

I wish you could get to know me.  It’s a hard thing to do.

Are you going to try?

Don’t be scared of me.  All these imaginary creatures around me?  Don’t be scared of them.  They mean you no harm.

I want to show you an amazing place.  It’s my home.

I know it looks scary, out of the normal, and a huge jump from your side of the wall.  Trust me, I’ve heard it a million times.

But would you at least try?

Please, come sit with me.  And try.

Get to know me.  Don’t just act stupid with me, know me.  Love me.  Hug me.  Care about me.  Get me.  Understand me.  Have patience with me.

There’s a black stick of chalk on the ground in front of you.

Will you take it, sit down, and write to me?  It’s hard for me to hear you.

Please give me a chance?  Will you please come over?  Will you try to dream with me?  Will you laugh with me?  Will you love me as much as I already do you?

Will you please draw with me?

Reviews

[Ashley G.]

*writes on the glass* E= !iH

[Dolfury Nixie Ritter]

Haha hi! Long time no see!

[Ashley G.]

Yay! You logged on! How've you been?

[Dolfury Nixie Ritter]

Great! :D College has been a blast! If I can just get the hang of taking my tests I'll be great. XD How about you? How's school going for you?

[Ashley G.]

College- hehe...I'm passing at least. School- uh, I think I scared everybody yesterday by ALMOST passing out....I'm fine now though!

[Dolfury Nixie Ritter]

O_O Dang you sure?

[Ashley G.]

Yeah that was 6- no 7 days ago. Do you have midterms in October too? I do and I'm REALLY nervous.