Step One: Snatch

     The first step in taking over the world is having a way to reach the whole world, whether that be by traveling, media, or mass telepathy. Of course, the easiest way would be mass telepathy, but that's boring; it'd be over as soon as I stop communicating. Not to mention the fact that it's unrealistic. The most convenient thing for me to do would be to travel. But how would I pull this off with no money? Well I asked m'Lord, Satan for the wisdom and courage to carry out my plan. Here's what I did:

     In order to carry out the first part of my plan, I was going to have to squeeze some money out of a few suckers. Like I've mentioned before, I'm young, and old people are always soft hearted and kind to young people, so that's definitely an advantage. I live in New York, which is also an advantage due to the large population here. With all the bustling people, someone is sure to drop a couple bucks here and there, plus my manipulation skills could get me a few extra Franklins. I've said before that my parents don't pay much attention to me, so it's safe to say they didn't care that I was about to wander around New York unsupervised. For all I know, they didn't even notice I was gone. I started off by dressing in my rattiest clothing, messed up my hair a little, and put on my best sad girl face. You can see where this is going, right?

     I went to my local supermarket There's plenty of beggars there, and I was gonna do my best to get some cash from whatever they scrapped up. Whether I had to steal the money, or put on an act, I was determined to get at least fifty by the end of the day. I posted up at a run down gas station, hoping to catch the eye of a few tender hearted New Yorkers. Within three or four hours, I racked up eighty bucks; not too shabby. Afterwards, I packed my things and moved to the next location. I did the same with people coming in and out of Walmart. After exhausting a few more places, I had about $500, which is pretty good money, but not enough for taking over the whole world.

     The next day, I initially planned on pulling the same act, but I decided on stealing instead. Being a short kid among swarms of adults, you don't get noticed very easily. On top of that, it wouldn't be too hard to pick pocket a few unsuspecting people. Doing this could easily get me $1000. You're probably thinking negatively about me right now. I don't particularly care. Remember what my plan is; only take care of yourself, nobody else. It's a dog eat dog world out there, and if you don't eat, you'll end up dead one way or another. To get back to the point, I snagged around fifteen hundred dollars from pickpocketing, (tourists bring a lot of money, and for good reason) bringing my total to around two thousand.

     At this moment, I realized something; I was a criminal. Of course, I wasn't fazed by this. I know what I'm doing is right for the world. My father, Satan, told me. Besides, in order for me to save the world, I was going to have to destroy it a bit anyway. Might as well do my worst damage, you know? And obviously, the whole point of being a criminal is to break the law, so I figured I'd wreak a bit more havoc while I had the time. What was my plan? To rob a store, obviously.

     I had to strategize this; I knew that in certain stores I could get more money than others, but I also knew that some of the stores where I'd score more, would have more security. This was a problem, so I had to do my research. Another factor was witnesses. I had to go at a time when I knew there would have been plenty of money earned already, but there was not as many people. Following this logic, I knew exactly where I was going to go. Theres a store nearby that sells cheap jewelry. The shop isn't super popular, but it has enough customers to rack up a good profit by seven, which is when they close. When I checked it out, I saw that they didn't have an exceptionally strong security system; the cameras were outdated and obviously didn't function anymore. True, they could have been decoys, but I was willing to take the chance. 

     Seven is close to closing time, so the workers are typically cleaning up, taking inventory, things like that. Sometimes if they're done doing those tasks, they'll just hang out in the back of the store and disregard what's happening out on stage. One of the workers that I know finishes his work early is named Karyl. He's pretty lazy, which inspires him to finish his work as fast as he can so he can get to resting earlier. This was the perfect opportunity for me. I discreetly watched from the outside of the store, and when I saw him go to the back, I knew it would be the perfect time to charge. 

     You may be wondering how I intended to get into the cash register without a key. Well, a little fact about me that you should know is that I know how to pick locks. I told you, don't underestimate me. This is a very handy talent, especially for criminals. I recommend learning how to pick locks, even if it isn't for criminal purposes. You never know when it can come in handy. Anyway, when I got to the cash register, I saw that he had left a key on the counter. There was a chance that this could be the key to the register, which would save me some time But of course, that would only be in a perfect world, and if this was a perfect world, I wouldn't be trying to fix it. I tried the key, and it didn't work. Inconvenient, but it wasn't the end of the world. 

     I had to work quickly and quietly, as I didn't know if any other customers would come in and lure Karyl out. On top of that, if I were too loud, he would have heard me and busted me. I took one of my bobby pins out of my hair, which I had been saving for this exact occasion, and I straightened out one end of it. I took the other one out of my hair and bent it to act as a lever. I stuck the straightened bobby pin into the lock a few centimeters and bent the tip slightly, creating a pick. After putting the lever in the key hole, I put the pick on top of it and slowly pushed the pins upwards to unlock the door. After a few seconds of picking and turning, I finally got the register open. Being a criminal is tedious work.

     When I opened the register, it made a soft ringing type of noise. Due to this, I got stressed and worried that Karyl might have heard. I had to take the money and get out of there fast. I grabbed the stacks and put it in my bag. I closed the register just to lower suspicion and I ran out of the store. There was a group of people walking by on the sidewalk, so it would have been hard for anybody to track down who walked out of the store and when, so I didn't have to worry too much.

      Once I was home, I counted my whole collection, and it came up to roughly three thousand dollars. Of course, I could sustain myself off of this much, so I decided to call it a week.