Shadow Mural

A young woman's slow descent into insanity

Her painted eyes shone in the dim firelight. She bit at the end of her pen and read what she had written. The blood-red ink was difficult to read in this light, especially with as many drinks as she'd had, but changing pens meant leaving the warmth and comfort of her nest of blankets. After what she'd just seen, her sanity depended on the safety of her haven. She made the mistake of letting her eyes wander to rest upon the dying flames in the fireplace. She felt her pen fall from her hand and her jaw go slack as she saw his face materialize in the weak flames. Her lips moved soundlessly as she tried desperately to say his name, as if that could bring him back. Her eyes closed to hold back a waterfall of tears as she heard his sweet, deep voice echo her name in her ears. As his voice grew in volume, she felt herself slipping farther and farther from consciousness, and closer to sweet, blissful darkness. She welcomed it, and let herself fall, guided by his angelic voice…deeper and deeper…

 

The golden sun rays hit her like a brick and jolted her awake. Disoriented, and far too sober, she rubbed at her eyes, and was surprised to find them wet. Slowly, she began to remember last night…She quickly got up and almost toppled over. She steadied herself, pulled her blanket tighter around her shoulders, and very carefully made her way to the kitchen, closing all the blinds on the way. She reached past the coffee pot and grabbed the last remaining bottle of vodka squirreled away there. She made her way back to her corner slowly, avoiding any stray sunbeams. She half fell into her nest of blankets and pillows in the corner. She laid the bottle of vodka in her lap, then picked up his notebook and deciphered what she'd scribbled into it last night:

 

how could you leave me like this

i love you

i'm lost

i'm alone

i love you

i miss you i want you i'm alone

i'm scared

the shadows are coming for me

i can feel them pulling me down

ripping

tearing

i hate you for leaving me

i hate you

i hate you

i love you

i love you i love you i love you i love you

i'll be with you again soon

i promise

i'm scared i'm alone i need you

i miss you i want you

i love you

we'll be together again

soon my love

soon

soon

 

She threw his notebook away from her as a chill ran down her spine. She tore off the top of the vodka and drank deeply, feeling the burning liquid travel down do her belly and through her veins. She fell back against the wall as she recapped the bottle then set it lightly next to her. Her eyes closed as she felt reality slipping farther away…so…distant…

 

i love you

i hate you

i miss you

f**k you

f**k you

f**k you for leaving me

alone

alone

so alone

why why why why why

i love you

i hate you

alone

alone

empty

hate love alone empty why

miss you

miss you

shadows

darkest fears

take me

we'll be alone together

we'll fade away together

i hate you

i love you

we'll be together soon

soon

 

A loud knocking on the front door startled her out of her uneasy slumber. She stared, terrified, at the door handle. The knocking sounded again, and she sunk farther back into her corner, pulling her knees in close and rocking slightly. A third set of knocks sounded, and tears began to run down her face. Go away, she whispered. Go away go away go away go away…he's mine…mine forever…you can't have him. Leave me alone. Go away, leave me alone. He's mine…

 

She heard footsteps on the front porch, and a shadow appeared on the blinds. Her tear-streaked eyes darted from the shuttered window to the large mass sitting in the blood pool in the middle of the room. Go away, he's mine, you can't have him, she whispered. She saw the shadow move to the other front window then slowly walk away. Faintly, she heard a car start up and roll down the gravel drive. All was silent again.

 

She took another deep drink from the bottle near her, and grabbed his notebook. She scribbled furiously. Her letters grew larger and shakier as the day drew on, until she could barely read what she had written. By twilight, she had run out of ink and pages, and the empty vodka bottle joined the others in a heap on the floor. She felt like she was falling endlessly as the line between murky reality and lucid dreams faded slowly before disappearing entirely.

 

As she saw the dying rays of the sun dissolve slowly through the tiny slots in the blinds, her heartbeat started growing faster. She could feel the shadows watching her, waiting. They were hungry. They grew and multiplied as one by one the frail sunbeams faltered and vanished. The shadows crept in closer and closer as she cowered in her corner, tears flowing. No no no no no you can't have me, you can't have him, she whimpered to the shadows. I won't let you have him. She frantically grabbed for his notebook and tried to stand up, supporting herself against the wall. She took a lurching step forward before falling to her knees, but she felt nothing from the impact with the cold wooden floor. She cried out incoherent curses to the shadows that moved in to swallow her as she crawled gracelessly to the mass in the middle of the deep red stain on the floor. She flung herself over the body resting there; his body was ice cold as she frantically wrapped her arms around him. YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM! she yelled to the shadows, I WON'T LET YOU TAKE HIM!

 

She looked down into his unblinking eyes. She saw her tears drop onto his cheeks and gently wiped them away. She kissed his lips lightly and ran her fingertips down his arm, tracing the long slashes down the middle of each arm, down to the knife resting in his right palm. She gently took the knife in one hand, bring his fingers to her lips with her other hand. She watched as she let the spine of the blade slide smoothly up his bloodless arm to rest on his chest, next to her wrist. She distantly felt the blade bite into her flesh as she saw visions of her dancing with her love. She saw letters slowly form on her arm. A-l-o-n-e, h-a-t-e, e-m-p-t-y… When there was no more room, the blade moved to a leg, then her side, then stomach…wherever there was room. Faster and faster it moved; h-a-t-e, l-o-v-e, a-l-o-n-e, t-o-g-e-t-h-e-r, s-h-a-d-o-w-s, l-i-v-e, d-i-e, d-i-e, d-i-e… Letters flowed into each other and became meaningless squiggles as her hands started to shake. The knife fell from her hands as she collapsed on top of him. She kissed his cold lips again, and whispered to him. Love you…always…fade away…together…mine…my love… Her eyelids grew heavy as she let her head rest on his chest. She could feel the shadows growing closer, enveloping them both, but they no longer felt malevolent. Shadows…my love…together forever…I love you…

 

As her eyes finally closed, she gently closed his eyelids before she twined her fingers into his. The darkness grew thicker, becoming a tangible force pressing close. She felt her heart slowing and smiled, succumbing to the shadows, her protectors. Safe…together…always and forever… A last peaceful sigh escaped her lips and she was still, her soul forever bound to his, and her smile everlasting.

Reviews

[TARAK GHOSH]

Your great story nailed all the audiences as it nailed me. A well built fantastic plot makes the story interesting.

[Bertie]

This is amazing...
Great story, the narrative structure means that the audience is kept interested the whole time,
the emotion is written in a very real, natural way.
Well done !