Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I don’t think I’ve ever left a seat more quickly in my life. My heart immediately begins to race, and my mind tells me one thing: Run! I try to, I really do. I try to dash across the train station platform towards the ticket stand to tell them to call the police. I know that I’m a scout, but I don’t have my Striker-Glove or my armor on mearmor. I’m vulnerable, and that makes the fear writhe. As soon as I stand up, the world around me shuts to black. Everything is pitch dark as if all of the lights in the world have just been put out, all at the same time. What’s happening?

I turn around, and my heart leaps into my throat. I see him. Our two chairs are still here, just as they were a few seconds before. My heart is beating so hard that it hurts. Why does it hurt so much? My stomach hurts too. Can I just leave? Walk away? He’s looking at me with those eyes again, and those curved lips. What does he want? I’m not sure what to do, and my body shakes with anticipation. I try to walk away, but, for some reason, I can’t. It’s as if my subconscious is telling me to stay, totells me to stay, stay, and talk to this person. Why am I telling myself this? It’s like my inner voice is being controlled by something else. Someone else. Except I’m the one who wants to stay. “ You’re very anxious, aren’t you?” Clous says to me. I keep my mouth shut. I hope my body language says what I’m thinking. “ I’m not evil. Stop lying to yourself. You do want to talk to me. You’re curious.” Can he hear my thoughts? “ Yes, I can, Similic.” I jolt, feeling my body become wet with sweat. I’m trying to notnot to let the fear overtake me, but it feels like I’m facing an army. All of this blackness is fake, but it feels like it’s wrapping around my soul. What is happening? “ I can only hear you because of this.” Clous raises his left hand, showing that gauntlet again. “ Do you like it? I call it the Neuro Gauntlet, named after the neurological system in our brains.”

“ Why are you doing this?” That's all I can say right now. My mind is still confused and filled with conflicting thoughts. “ I’m doing this because I have an interest in you, Similic. InIn you and Drift. Your best friend.”
“ What?” “ Come, sit down. I won’t bite you.” His words slip into my mind and strangle me. They feel stained and excited. I know for a fact that believing him isn’t an option. Right...? I try to move in any direction that isn’t towards him. My body won’t do it, and my subconscious won’t let me. Illusionary technology isn’t abnormal, but what he’s doing to me surely indeed is. What is this? It’s like I have no control, no way to calm myself down. I thought I was calm. “ What’re you gonna going to do to me? What do you want?” My backpack is very heavweighty, and I can barely feel the flowers in my grasp. “ I just want to talk. You should know about me if you wish to notnot to fear me, correct? Besides, you want it also.” “ But why are’re you doing this? How?” I glance around. The darkness is close and far. I feel terror and curiosity mixing together into a dangerous force.
“ I’m doing it through the gauntlet, just like you’re suspecting.” He grins as I pull my eyes towards the thing. “ The specifics are complicated, but it lets me hack into someone’s brain, and play with it. You’ve Of course, you’ve figured by now that this isn’t real. Right now, you’re just sitting down, and it seems as if you’re sleeping. Same The same can be said for me. At least physically.”
“ I’ll miss my train. I won’t play with Curmolae…” Am I talking out loud? I have no idea of what’s happening. Nothing feels quite right. “ Of course, it’s not right, but isn’t that the wonderful thing?” Clous asks. “ Isn’t it wonderful that we can enjoy such ‘absurd’ things? It’s what keeps life interesting.”
“ I could agree, but I want to know why you’re doing this.” “ Why? There are many reasons why. So many that it’s hard to put into sheer words.”
“ I know the feeling.” “ Of course you do. I suppose I’ll reveal that it all started that one day, back during those months ago. W when I took that glance at you. That wonderful first look.”
“ What glance? Months ago?” My body is slowly becoming heavier and heavier, and my head feels like it’s going to will melt. I can’t handle this for much longer. “ Calm down, Similic. Is there anything bad happening right now? Are you hurt? I guess I should mention that your mental state is perfectly fine. You aren’t hurt in the slightest. Unless you don’t sit down.” “ Why? What happens if I don’t?” “ You’ll make yourself mad. You don’t want to do that right now, do you?” The thoughts move within me, forcing me to consider many possibilities all at the same time. It’s painful, but I can’t stop the curiosity from flowing. It’s as powerful as a stream full of fresh fish. I nod my head carefully and slowly sit back down. Is this out of fear, or is it out of a desire? It’s really hardtough to see the distinction.

I’ve never had more terror stored within me when sitting down. Is anyone else seeing this? I manage to make myself a tiny bit comfortable on the seat, with my backpack and flowers resting against it on the ground. I can’t see the ground anymore. It’s just darkness. Clous leans back in his chair, putting his head onto his forearms as if he’s relaxing. The amount of calm energy that’s pouring out of him is bone bone-chilling. It’s completely opposing what I’m feeling. I’m not sure what to say. He’s watching me subtly. I can’t stop the urge to speak. “ You said you’re sleeping too?” I ask. “ Hm? Yes. I’m ‘asleep’ also. That’s how the gauntlet works. It shuts off our physical conscience, opening us up to our inner. We’re inside of each other’s heads. We’re asleep to everyone else. Time in here works how we want it to, as long as we don't fool ourselves by thinking we can stop it. Right now, it’s as fast as a sub-ant.” I’m tempted to ask what would happen if I try to slug him, but I hold back that temptation. I don’t want to be like that. Preferably. “ So, w-what did you mean by ‘months ago’?” “ That’s why I wanted you to sit down. I’ve been watching you for a while.” I stare at him. His scales shine, making him the only thing that seems to matter in this place. His calmness is imbued with an undeniable excitement. “ The first time I saw you was when I was taking a break from work during the opening week of my mechanics shop. I was in your Core to see a new movie, just for fun, and your school had just gotten out for the day. It happened on a random street not far from the living building. I saw you with your scout group, and, well, something turned on in my heart.” Silence. My chest thumps in blasts of pain. “ You’re saying that you have a...a…” “ A crush?” His laugh vibrates in my head. “ I thought maybe at first I did. Wouldn’t that cause a lot of trouble? What I felt had many signs of a crush, but I wouldn’t call it that, if only to stay out of trouble.” He smiles and closes his eyes as he describes his feelings. “ It’s more like an intense intrigue with you. Nothing sexual or anything of the sort, but more as a burning desire to learn and know about you. I had this feeling, just from watching you, that you could help ignite my neglected happiness. That you could allow me to find what I’ve been losing for so long.” His eyelids open again, and he looks at me. He does this with such a fierceness that I almost jump. “ I learned as much as I could about you, using my newly produced gauntlet to see what I could and learn what I could from your mind. The way that you see this world is fascinating! So unlike a lot of others your age, Similic. Your parents should be proud of you, which they are.” “ You...I…” What do I say to this? I’m not sure what to feel. The world around me is still black. How soon can I get out of here?

“ I know it’s a lot, but it’s true. I’ve been contemplating when I should make my introduction to you. Honestly, it’s been too long since I initially thought of making myself known to you. Weeks, at least. Today, I happened to be in the exact same place and time as you and her. I figured this was my chance.” “ Your chance to scare a kid?” ” He laughs again. This time the noise erupts various emotions within me. “ I want to tell you something. One small thing.” Clous leans over, placing his mouth right next to my left ear. “ I’m going to fix this world.”

I shiver violently as the sound of his voice reverberates through my ear canal. I want to strike stroke his face, his ‘evil’ face, but I can’t, ; my mind won’t let me. He’s holding me here, making me his hostage. I have control, but at the same time, I don’t. All I can do is talk, I think. “ Fix? How?” “ I’ve got something in the works. Something special. Once it’s done, it’ll be released, and it’ll purge this society and return the planet to what it once was so many centuries ago.” Clous leans back, satisfied with himself. I’m completely horrified. Nothing is indicatingndicates any kind of humor in his words. “ Are you making a threat? You want to kill everyone?” “ Kill? No! More like help them. The only thing that may be considered killing is the wiping of the consciences that us people have.” “ Huh? Conscience?” “ Yes, Similic. The conscience that is the sole plague on this FourEarth! The conscience that causes suicide, rape, robbery , improper replication, manipulation, tyranny, depression, learned diseases, doubts, and so much more. It’s the reason that this planet is dying, and has been dying ever since humans first realized that they could think!” He seems to glow brighter with every passing word. “ Don’t you see that? We should end it. I will do it. But there is one thing.” “ What…?” Everything is utterly still. As frozen as the arctic wastelands. . “ A part of me wants to keep living, wants to keep trying to feel that pleasure and happiness which I used to know so long ago. It’s a damn shame that our subconsciouses tell us such things like this, isn’t it?” “ I...guess?” That statement reminds me of a conversation that Drift, and I had last week while we were playing a game together. “ It is that part of me that really drove me to introduce myself to you, Similic. I want you to understand me, you and Drift both.’’ “ Why us?” “ Because my heart and brain agree upon it. You know how rare that is. I want to indulge the sweet possibility that they for once agree upon. Do you get it?”
“ Yeah, I guess I do. But I don’t get what you were saying about ending the world. Why?”
“ You’ll understand. When you want to.” The dark around us begins to fade, and light begins to stream back into my life. “ I’ll let you go, as I would never wish to make you truly unhappy.’’ He smiles again as I do the same. ‘‘But remember that we are together. We have the same thoughts, and we always will. Don’t misinterpret yourself. I’ll be back. You’ll see.”

I wake up in my station seat, with everything exactly the same as it was before. Clous is gone, vanished like he was never here in the first place. “ You’ll see.” I can still hear his voice in my mind. The whistle of the train heading to Core Cylon scares me. I hastily get into the vehicle along with the usual crowd. As soon as I sit down, I realize I’ve forgotten my backpack and flowers. Another small detail I’ve almost forgotten. I run out and grab them, barely making it back to my seat before the doors of the train close. As it pulls out of Core Marcilin and through the wilderness, my body shakes, and my heart pounds. I look out the window, my brain juggling a thousand different thoughts. What to make of it all? Who should I tell? I should tell Drift, shouldn’t I? I open my Connecto-Panel and begin to open up ComcordConcord. I realize again how funny it is that we only ever use this one app to message each other with. We have no reason to use any other. While I try to decide what to write, someone sits down on the seat directly in front of me. My mind tells me something I don’t want to hear, and I look up slowly.