High School Graduation and Me

I've lived well so far, but now it's time to live even better. I just think so many things about it all...

The towering stadium, ripe with our significance, shines upon me as we file out. 

The dazed audience of beloved families swarm me as we truck towards the exit. 

The friends I enjoyed for so many days laugh with me as they ridicule their diplomas. 

The teachers I improved myself with smile almost falsely as they see me go.

All this, such a grand occasion, so much noise and splendor, 

For a moment just like any other. 

Or is that just me?

The pressuring hurry of my family as we scramble with anxious feet to the park. 

The sea of red-clad students humbling the air with their conversations. 

The sudden joys that lift me as I finally meet these once Zoom only teachers. 

The amazement that trails me as I scout out the bathroom in such a magnificent place. 

The seeming years of standing in a spot, hoping that some day the ceremony would begin. 

All this, so much excitement, so much coordination, so much finality to all these relations I know, 

For a moment just like any other. 

Or is that just me?

The sprawling field of glowing green grass that expands before me as we take to our seats. 

The audience, taking up an entire world, of families and friends cheering their pride at us. 

The small yet meaningful graduation stage sitting upon the center of it all, a landmark for me. 

So much opulence flying through us as we do this, so much power embedded in these seconds here, 

For a moment just like any other. 

Or is that just me? 

The speeches, fully pregnant with passion, melancholy, excitement, predictions, recollections. 

 That same sea of red students filtering onto the stage as their names are proclaimed. 

That one kid, me, the only who dabbed with the principal.

That set of parting words, heavy with melancholic finality, given before we left. 

So much happiness, so much pride, so much emphasis, 

For a moment just like any other. 

Or is that just me? 

Maybe I’m just allowing my weirdness to show itself again. 

Maybe I just haven’t been brought up properly. 

Maybe I’m just not smart enough. 

Maybe I’m just too in-tune with Life. 

But this doesn’t feel so grand. 

Perhaps it’s because I know where my path leads from here, I think. 

Perhaps it’s due to the work I want to do, and to how I know what challenges I want to face. 

Perhaps it’s that light in my tunnel which gives me reason to see this as so miniscule. 

Or is that just me? 

It’s an odd moment. 

I’m only 18, and yet I feel isolated from all this. 

Where is the satisfaction of having ‘survived high school’?

Where is the joy of having filled my report cards with high letters?

Where is the giddiness that’s supposed to come by walking across that stage?

Perhaps I’m a person who’s already passed these feelings in my head. 

Or is that just me? 

It’s not that I don’t view my fellow classmates with honor. 

I am so happy they’ve made it into the next era of their lives. 

Afterall, completing each era is part of our mission, right? 

So yeah, I appreciate their efforts, and the efforts of me. 

But at the same time, I just don’t feel a big end to any of this. 

Or is that just me? 

The one major thing I do feel, is growth. 

If I could hold the hands of the me that I was during Freshman year, 

I’d tell them of this moment. 

‘ You’ll make it through. It may seem like forever, but it somehow isn’t. 

You will get the initial job you wanted, you will have just the right college plan, 

And you will start to become the artist you want to be.

All you need to do, is keep trying. 

Just as you already know. 

It won’t feel too special when you leave this school, 

But it’ll definitely feel like you’ve grown. 

And maybe that sounds boring, 

But you know the truth. 

To grow is the epitome of beauty. ’

As I write this, I realize something.
I do feel some special emotions.
I feel thankful. 

For all the imperfections of school,

It has taught me endlessly valuable lessons for me personally. 

Ideas that I will carry for as long as I can, 

Since they’re useful. 

The idea of meaningful effort, of loving to learn, of loving to thrive, of loving to keep trying. 

This is what I’m thankful for. 

These friends, these teachers, these classrooms, this campus,

All which I won’t see in the same way ever again. 

I’ll take the gifts you’ve offered me, 

I’ll use them how I can. 

Since I want to. 

They always say ‘thanks!’ during graduations. 

I suppose that now I’m saying the same. 

I am saying ‘thanks’ to all the details, 

The details of this part of my life, 

From birth to now, 6/14/21, 

For how they’ve let me become more of who I want to be. 

Just like my beloved family, they’ve done me well. 

So for that, I will say a wholehearted ‘thanks!’

I know where my path goes, for as far as I can reasonably see. 

And with these details, 

I think I can do more things. 

And that makes me very happy. 

Yes, this is the end of my life’s first chapter, it seems. 

Which is fine, since Chapter 2 looks to be even better. 

And that makes me very happy. 

And when I think about all this, and everyone else in this world, 

I can think that maybe, 

It isn’t just me. 

So with all these thoughts, just as always,
I continue on. 

Let’s see what happens now. 

It should be very interesting!