By the Shore

A little love poem I wrote a while ago.

The skies were left to bleed for days
It kissed the water, it passed on this disease
As the sun burned below the horizon, in blaze
And I would try to remember the words we said

Leave the angels be, let them dance
And we’ll paint them in dull hues, like photographs
The memories will eventually die away
Like stars, wished upon once, left to explode, and fade.

By the shores we kissed, hand in hand
Laced upon the damp sand
Dirty with bitter memories, we’ve killed the past
Drained from our lips I’ve dared to attach

In which we’ve finally found salvation upon the lost
Fought our demons, and shared our victories and loss
We lay by the waters, in hopes of washing the sins away
Your hand tangled within my hair…

Justify this feeling, it grows and blossoms on
Lovers left to dream, and the dream continues on
When the sky truly meets the waters once more
I’ll be here waiting, down the same shore

Author's Note

Lemme know what you think x3

Reviews

[Jem Sagcal]

I loved how absolutely sentimental it presents and how readers can relate to the emotion being expressed.

[child-of-promise]

I definitely dig this. I really felt the emotion, like lost love or some such. I love poems that tell stories, and this one did a great job. I love that it was kind of free verse but there were some great rhythmic rhyming parts, too.
My only suggestion is that you maybe utilize punctuation more, a comma here, a period there, since this is more of a story poem.
Other than that, a beautiful poem!

[Shawna]

Amazing imagery. I really love this poem. Great work.

[mary green]

'the skies were left to bleed for days' is a very powerful image. i love it.
there are certainly places on this earth where the sunsets bleed with beauty.

i have some trouble connecting the plural ('the skies') with the singular (it) in the next line, however. i'm writing this just in case you want to do something about it (i.e. you could replace 'the skies' with 'the sky', then it would make sense; especially since you use the singular 'sky' in the end where it meets the water :))).

[CureThePoison]

Thanks for your review!
I've always been the type of person who struggles with grammar so I appreciate you correcting that. I'll correct it as soon as I can.
I'm glad that you enjoyed this poem :)