Someday

The clock ticks and tocks all night long.

You could hear the rain drops, 

Pittering and pattering against the window.

Your stomach would have that sinking feeling,

The feeling like you didn't quite belong.

It was almost time for happiness,

For the world to be brightened up,

For the sun to shine brighter than ever,

For the seas to be calmer than before.

I will be waiting for this day,

As I know that it'll come,

Someday.

Reviews

[Insanity]

Okay, let's start with the good things I guess. I like the language used. The onomatopoeia was simple, but effective. The message was nice, it was quite easy and clear to see in the words.

Now just some things you may want to go over... The first verse, last line, "Pittering and Pattering". 'Pattering' doesn't need a capital P. The third verse is slightly cliche, but I guess it works, though if you could think of something that fits in with it, and is more on the original side, it'd be a truly unforgettable poem, I reckon.

It was a great read, pleasant to read. It fit together well, didn't sound very awkward when I read it out loud. It was good, overall. But like I said, it'd be a truly unforgettable poem if you found something original that fitted into the poem for the third verse. Good job Lovaa, keep up with it, write more poems. ;P

[Harley (arbiter)]

I have a poem like this. Well the subject of one day coming. I loved it great job!

[R.O.M.E.T.S.I.]

I like this. I think we're all waiting for someday. And some days when you think it'll be that day, it slips away. You captured that. However, I think thois poem has even more potentail. Maybe ad a stanza, and put a little more passion in your words. It's good!

[Kiera]

Love it. This poem flows nicely and is great to read. It sounds peaceful when I read it. I hope that day comes too :)

[Sophie]

Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

[Sunny]

Wow
Really good!!
The description is good and the poem gives a clear message to the reader.
Kepp up the good work!!!
:)

[Azalee]

I like it. The ending was nice. It finished it well. The simplicity of the language just kind of makes me want to smile.

Nice writing. :)

[EJB]

;) nice ending keep writing! :)

[SeventhSin]

This is great! Keep up the good work :)

[MoriartyMesa]

Had a nice 60's Motown feel to it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KI_0tQdEA5k