The Timeshare Salesman

The Time Share Salesman

Telephone rings �" “Hi is that Joseph?
“Yes”
“Have you heard of Pine Wood?
“No! where is it?
“It’s in Lancashire! Just a few miles from Morecambe”
“No! How should I know it?
“It’s a very popular holiday complex”
“Oh! So! what about it”
“Well we have some chalets for sale, on very reasonable prices, In fact, you could take on now no deposit and pay monthly, would you be interested?
“I might be, tell me more”
“Well there is a huge swimming and water sports complex, an amenities building, with dance hall, two cinemas, a theatre where they hold Bingo on Wednesday nights and lots more and it all comes for free”
“Sound great”
“We are having an open day, with a talk to explain things, You can try out the water sports, Light lunch and evening meal supplied and following with a few drinks in the sumptuous bar, all for free”
“Sounds interesting”
“Right I will book you in for the day”
“Good”
“What is your name?
“Joseph Goodenough”
“Right Joseph, that’s two of you booked in”
“OK”
“Can I collect some details?
“Yes”
“What is your date of birth?
“1st April 1907”
"Are you sure?
“Well yes it has been that as long as I have known”
“Why didn’t you tell me, this offer is not available for people over fifty”
“You never asked my age and anyway is been nice to have someone ring me up for a chat”

“Wasting my time” 

They didn’t send my invite

Wild Rose
November 2019.

Reviews

[emmajoy]

This strikes as being true or true-ish?? Phone salesmen need a job, know that and it must be a mind.bending job sometimes. But, dear biggies that fly the sky.. they really can kill good manners from the person other end! Began to grin a third through this, wondering where it was going.. did the caller know this what the owner but hadn't genned up on company business; was the man talking to another saleman who was playing same game! Hadn't a clue, and finally, gave up, only to understand that the called-on had been pulling a fast one. Perhaps You know how to wrap up business oh so well! .

[Wild Rose]

Thank you Emma Yes it did happen _ We had just retired and bought a camper van. The same guy had been calling us for ages. I kept saying no we go camping. This time I just kept him going; I almost got to the point of going to the free bun fight; without a cheque book or credit card to make payments "Oh I cant find it. I seem to have lost my wallet"

[emmajoy]

Smiled, you must have been a boy scout.. always prepared with a quick answer!

[barleygirl]

We get TONS of junk calls here even tho I'm on the so-called "do not call" list. I try not to spend more than three seconds after I realize it's a junk call, so I cannot fathom why people engage as you show here, but I know it happens all the time. Your sequence of conversation sounds realistic & compelling & the end is a nice thought-provoking twist (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Wild Rose]

Yes it is/was true. He had been calling and sending invitations to attend a "Free day out with invitation to look around the development (no commitment) with evening meal and entertainment" the offers changed each time
I think he got our name etc from a business directory (We had a dried & silk flower display business + retail + Mail order)
It was a rainy Monday our day off, plus I did the previous weeks accounts & sorted out the girls wages

[Paul Bell]

Wouldn't it be great if you turned up with a large cheque, and bought the whole site, and then sacked the dipstick?

[Wild Rose]

They had been inviting us for ages
Rain boring day just see how long before he tires

Oh yes that did happen to a local ?High ? Class? pub near us
Turned a chap out for not wearing a tie
He came back wearing a smart overcoat and tie > under his coat was his work coat form his meat factory ' dont tell me I am not properly dressed I have a tie on now I run XXX meat and take more in one day than you do in a year

[Paul Bell]

Exactly, never judge a book by the cover.

[Michael]

hahaha fun. I love it. Well done.

[Wild Rose]

Thanks it did happen roughly like this; only with a few preceding calls trying to sell me timeshare

As the sating goes 'tell em nowt' also 'them as asks no questions aint told no lies'