June - In the Garden

Collaboration with Cassie who provided the inspiration, checked and approved the final result

June

When the sun shines bright; but not too much
The breeze is gentle and not too hot; nor too cold

Sitting by the garden pond

Listening to the gentle splash of water

From the fountain falling on the surface

Music from the Aeolian wind chimes gently drifts by

Bees busy themselves collecting pollen from the flowers

On the foxgloves methodically visiting every individual cup

Butterflys drifting by

To gently alight upon a rose bud

The birds sing sweet love songs to their mates

The chickens bwok makes no sense at all

But we are so engrossed in our world

Even the aroma of brewed coffee

Or warm baked cookies

Doesn’t bring our thoughts back

The cool soda pop keeps its sparkle
The crisps dont go soft

My dearest has abandoned her needle work

To slumber sweet dreams in her chair

The gentle breeze just stiring her hair

Such is life

For man and wife

On a warm summer day

With no care

Cept to sit and take in natures bounty

Wild Rose & Cassie

June 2019

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

nice collaboration you two...sounds as one voice...
i imagine the chickens might make sense to each other, but i even wonder on that...
one edit..."pollen" with two "L's"

but you really create a serene scene...with the colorful, calming imagery.
j.

[Wild Rose]

Polen > I will slap the spell checkers keys for that
Chucks just make a noise to say they are there - I think

Thank you

[John Alexander McFadyen]

A lovely scene displayed in this descriptive freeverse poem, even if a couple of rhymes snuck in! It certainly provides a tast of what June should feel like but here in the Midlands it is passing us by!

[Wild Rose]

Thanks it has passed us by so far as did May > More water games then lawn bowls

[Einstein Noodle]

quite the idyllic scene ... funny how when reading i want it cut with some kind of edge or another .. maybe the slap of a mosquito that bit an arm ;) imaging is strong says i .. repetition of "hot in V1, L 1&2 weakens it ..maybe try cool and moist for the breeze .. or sun shines bright and warm..like toast in the morning ;) i love the closing on man and wife ..the beauty of such a union much lost these days trying so hard to be "progressive" ... and i like the strength of the "moment" you are trying to create for your readers .. one we want to extend somehow .. make last forever .. very relatable .. funny how that works tho..the moment one realizes what a fine moment it is .. its gone .. in a whisper ;)
E.

[Wild Rose]

Thank You Will make the change to L1
I will think about extending the relationship
BUT are moments like that so fleeting in life - Just a moment in time to savour as and when we get them

[Einstein Noodle]

no...perhaps not..i see what you mean ..your pair are a lucky one

[KWP]

it does feel like a contented place thats for sure :)

I would like to have seen more 'showing' and not just all telling - metaphors would rock this poem.

[Wild Rose]

Thank you KWP > 'showing' I must edit a picture into it

[Chris Shaw]

This is a contented and soothing write. Both you and Cassie work well together. Your June garden is beautiful. You give your readers a lovely visual treat. A lovely read for me. Well done.

Chris

[Wild Rose]

Thank you Christine - although it isn't this June or May > Too wet to even cut the lawn

[Chris Shaw]

It's perfectly n order to use your imagination. You can use any June you want. We have had much rain too. Nice today though. Have a good one.

Chris