Going home on't bus

Just a commuter journey

Going home on the bus

Been working late

Took a seat the first in the smoking zone

Got out a text book and commenced to read

Man comes behind with a small child

Lights a cig and begins to smoke

blows to smoke forward

All round my face 

Please do you mind 

Don't blow your smoke my way

It just goes that way

Yell 'ave ter stick or move

Returned to my book (so he thought)

Removed from my pocket

Pipe, tobacco (herbal smell like burning grass) and matches

Filled the pipe 

Lit it 

Now blew the smoke

So it drifted his way

Just puffed and blew

Now he was beginning to choke

Took out a larger pipe

Tobacco that issued black smoke

I continued to blow the smoke his way

He was now surrounded by a black smoke screen

Coughing he go up and moved

Some ladies across - gave me a clap

He's allus doin' that

Praps 'eel larn 

To consider other folks

An' not blows his smoke I; their face

Wish I could believe a lesson he's learned

But his sort - no never - not him

Author's Note

Not spellin mistakes just a bit o' dialect talk

Reviews

[Joltara]

dialect talk, that was very cool. it did certainly enhance the writing
as for the smoker, sometimes you have to fight fire with fire and sometimes you let it fizzle out. each situation is different.

no one should be smoking in a bus in the first place though
that is just wrong. no one should be smoking, period - that stuff will kill you

[Wild Rose]

Joltara So correct I don't smoke (now) then only a pipe when relaxing with a book

Buses in those days allowed smoking three rows from the back

[Kathy Van Kurin]

'going home on't bus'
Wild Rose,
In a perfect world all would consider each other. In a kind world all might see others as ourselves. Wouldnt that be nice. Nice bus commute with you today. I do not smoke but this story reminded me of one more way which others can forget about their brother or sister in life.
Kathy

[Wild Rose]

Thank you Kathy > Actually I had completely forgotten this post

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Haha. Some people never seem to learn. So I like the approach used here. It’s tit for tat. It’s proactive. It’s an answer to Mister “In Your Face” More ‘show’ than ‘tell’ worked here and it definitely makes for an interesting story too. I’m glad you wrote this. It has inspired me to act similarly in such a situation, in future. Enjoyed the dialect too!

[Wild Rose]

Thank you > To him - Me in my blue safari jacket, a bit dusty from the chalk board, brief case and I wore a tie and reading a book
I would look a posh softy > Blow smoke at him make him move

The first pipe was am aromatic (like burning grass some said) I found it relaxing
The second gave out a breath taking black smoke screen > Kept flies off when you were outside (for lunch in the park)

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

It seems to pack quite a punch. I like the spunk it gives. Never tried it. Would love to some day though :)

[Wild Rose]

What smoking > make you cough first time
Dont smoke now I found at that college it kept the HOD from creeping in unawares that was the burning grass > most times I would slide off into the library in a quiet corner to work - he would creep in when you were busy and give you a job he didn't like to do himself

[Neville]

This is not just poetry, is it.. what you have crafted here Wild Rose is a little bit of British social and cultural history... this folks is just how it used to be int old days but with an accent thrown splendidly in for good effect...... Neville

[Wild Rose]

Thank you Neville
I am writing a bit of social /family history in a book > part is now posted here - it will/does contain some local dialect/accents
I/we have travelled around the country specially in the north and amongst farmers - where the accents seem to linger on
TV has quite a lot to answer for in that area

[Neville]

my pleasure and good luck with the book my friend.... Neville

[Laurierose]

Frustration seemed to play a keen role in tone of this long bus journey. It's so easy for one person make a simple, relaxing commute feel hours long. When confronted with ignorance, it's not always so easy to control the situation, others, or even how we feel. However, we always have a grip on our own action and reaction. I also loved the use of dialect, it added a personal touch to the overall message. Great read.

[Wild Rose]

Thank you for your review _ Annoyance rather than frustration - I don't like second hand smoke - who does.
It was a 10 mile journey >>>
Did you like how the ladies joined in?

[Laurierose]

Yes! I like how others shared your irritation and offered understanding.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

That dreadful time when fire needs fire to subside, well done, good read.

[Wild Rose]

I did make a polite request > Fire with fire

Just "Don't" rattle my cage

[barleygirl]

Very realistic & judiciously done dialect . . . not dialect overload. Love the overall story being told here, perfect pacing, satisfying irony, vivid imagery for all the senses. It's been decades since California law allowed smoking ANYWHERE, so I'd forgotten how this can be. Realistic reminder with a touch of fun revenge (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Wild Rose]

Yes changed here now - Fun revenge ? No not then _ Don't do to me what you don't want done to youread moreYes changed here now - Fun revenge ? No not then _ Don't do to me what you don't want done to you
Or as sons motto translated would read
"Don't rattle my cage"

[NEHA]

conveyed a great message indeed to all the chainsmokers out here and there...

[Wild Rose]

Uk now has a smoking ban > even the outside "Smoker shelters" are being removed
Sons firm provided a car > smoking ban in the - they are "work places" one chap has been warned _ he is facing the sack for smoking in it

[NEHA]

Oh! That's a good news to hear that some countries HAVE put on their thinking caps!!!!!

[¿]

Grumpy guy!! But only understood cause u wrote on the way that convey meanings.
It's ljke I'm peeping to someone one's dear diary!!
But indeed well read😊

[Wild Rose]

Thanks for your comment
No I'm not grumpy (normally)
Just a long day and he was one of those people who seem to delight in annoying others

[¿]

No no Rose!! U got me wrong. Actually I meant that man grumpy 😃

[Wild Rose]

Its me > I forgive > Kisses to take out the hurt
No it didn't hurt > kisses any way