Chapter 2- Seperation

A Chapter by John

My swirling darkness continues to spread in
my head. I'm drowning deep within the confines of my
mind. The dark gives to a shape, he calls himself
Justin. His pace toward me is agonizingly slow. It
takes him what feels like days to get into earshot,
but he still doesn't talk. I rush over to him, yelling
at my lungs break, but he still ignores me. "I feel
dead... What have you done to me?" he utters
shamefully. It's an illusion... I must still be
unconscious from my accident.
          "You... you did this to me... no, us!"
          "What?!? What the f*****g hell do you mean
us?"
          "You are that naive and unaware... It's a
shame..." The way he spoke, was apathetic. There was
no way he was real. I'm just dreaming... just
dreaming. He pulled out a gun and laughingly said,
"Doesn't this look familiar?" He pulled the trigger
and thousands of bullets rushed toward me, each
intolerable wound made the next that more
excruciating. I was on my knees begging him to stop.
          "Stop? Hahaha! You weak pathetic pile of
s**t! Feel the pain you have caused. Feel my pain!"
          "What have I ever done to... you?"
          "All this madness is you. All this suffering
is you. You locked me in your nightmare for 22 years.
I know all about you."
          "Who... who are you?" I fell on my stomach.
I could feel death’s hand on my back.
          "I am you... You are me. In this world, we
are an ultimate anomaly. Science killed our kind many
years ago, or so they thought. We are halves of a
whole... that’s what I thought. I now know the
truth... You are my imagination."
          "What are you talking about? I'm just making
you up. This is not real!" My mind was racing... My
heart was pounding. I wanted to run, but was stuck
lying in my blood. It was humiliating and unreal. He
laughed and began another barrage of bullets. Every
f*****g one hit. He ran at me punched me down further
in the darkness, but now I could stand. All my wounds
were gone; I was ready to kill…
          "Whatever you did, you will regret it!"
          "That so?" A hand flew into my nose. I
stumbled back. He knew what he was doing. He came at
me with incredible speed, his leg flying. I grabbed
his leg and twisted it, He got up and laughed, this
made me angrier so I ran at him, our bodies colliding
with incredible strength. We were locked in a
stalemate. I thought quickly and tripped him, while he
was stunned, I ran behind him, grabbed both his arms,
and began to break them. I was feeling good about
myself, when his foot came from my side and kicked my
head. I gave up my hold and felt my arm break.
          "What happened? Where is my downfall? Where
is my pain? You cannot work my mind. You have no idea
what you are doing. Give up now!"
          My body couldn't keep it up. I fell into
more black, but he was gone..."Is he alive?"
          "He has no pulse."

          Five months later...
          “He is doing fine.”
          “Because of his coma, he might not be able
to function properly. He might have a diversity of
mental and or physical ailments.”
          “I don’t care, as long as he can remember
who I am.”
          “I’m sorry, but that may be a fleeting
dream. Do not expect him to do much.” It seemed as
though the doctor had not a care for me. I vaguely
remember what happened. The last thing I recalled was
the highway; it bothered me that I forgot what
happened. I pondered this for days… Where, how, what?
Told myself this didn’t matter… all that really
mattered was I was here, and not in with him. My body
still aches with my nightmares.
          “Do… Do you remember me?” A faint voice said
to me. Her voice was most pleasant. It seemed to have
care in it. The s**t-faced doctors had no remorse.
They made sure I wouldn’t break out again. They also
gave me more meds to stop me from ever having another
“episode.”
“Ha, so what am I? Am I just another paycheck to you?”
Peoples eyes shifted to see me, the “inferior” prove
them wrong. The doctor was in shock because I wasn’t
supposed to function. His shock soon turned to
pleasure as now he claimed that his “doctoring” helped
bring me back fully functional. I laughed at his
pathetic thought.
          “You dumb son of a b***h! Please, your
medical bull-s**t? You’re lucky I can’t move. I only
wish I could kill you, or put you in my state.” My
Doctor went to the nurse, and quickly pulled out my
“medicine.” Someone in the room caught my eye; I had
never seen her before. Maybe she was the one who I
heard. I opened my mouth, but was put back to sleep. I
slept for days… I only remembered my pain, my body was
so exhausted. It made me wonder if I was being tested.
I came to some time later and saw her beside me. She
had sea green eyes with streaks of red cutting
through. Toward the rim of the iris was dark navy
blue, and closer to the pupil were little hints of sky
blue. Amazingly beautiful eyes she had. Determined but
yet unsure, fierce but still docile. Her hair was
long, ending just above the knee. It was jet black and
had a blue color in certain lighting. She was around
5’6”… she was just perfect…“perfect?” She left soon
after and I was alone again… alone with these people.
A few weeks went by, I lost count… I didn’t care
anymore, and she came back.
          “I see you’re up.” Her voice was warm and
she gave a small chuckle.
          “Are you well enough to talk with out being
Mr. Crazy?” She was calm and understanding, unlike my
captors. It is odd, having no one who really cares to
one person by you… always waiting for you to get up. A
few days later I was finally released. I was out, but
had no where to go. My once house was demolished, to
rid the town of unused space. Slowly my life was
falling apart. It didn’t matter much to me… any at
all. I walked down the sidewalk of this neighborhood
hoping to find a house. They were all filled with
happy families, families whose sons’ came back from
our war. This made me think about her. I can’t believe
it’s been almost a year and a half since she died. I
whispered to myself: “Danielle,” my long dead fiancée.
I felt culpable that I just pushed her aside for
another. Dead or not, that is still fucked up. This
happy image of family brought me back to 3 years ago
when I met her.
          We were both in the war. It was funny she
said she had been there for 2 years prior. I looked
but she was no where in the records. She had caught my
eye by excelling in every aspect of her training. I
believe she was trying to get my attention, but I
never bothered to ask. I’d pass by, and she would
always smile. She made me feel good about myself.
People would always turn the other cheek at my failed
attempt, often saying they didn’t wanna hurt me and
s**t. F****n hated it I did. She was different, always
waiting for me to come around to put on her best show,
always turning red if I’d talk. She was a klutz, but I
began to love her. A year into the relationship, I
made her mine. We were engaged, but couldn’t do
anything. We made our own wedding. It had to be the
single greatest moment of my life. We tried to have a
normal relationship, but the war was hectic… every
time I lost my temper, I’d apologize to her. The anger
was getting the best of me. She wanted to call it off
one time. After that moment happened I swore I’d never
make her mad again. I tried my hardest, but in reality
all anyone can do is try. It had been a rough few
years, but we were still together. She would always
say, “When this ends, me and you will finally become
married.” It bothered me that she didn’t take our
wedding seriously. I stopped thinking about the pain,
about my past, and looked up only to see two thugs
staring at me.

The faces of these two men were disgusting. One had
rotted teeth that hung under the puss gushing upper
lip, and eyes that were devoid of happiness. Under his
eyes were vortexes of black that vanished right at the
crest of his cheek. His face looked like it had been
carved into by a deep blade. Splotches of blood
covered some valleys of his being. The other man’s
hair hung lifelessly over his face. What was left bare
was covered by a horrible burn. One eye was sown shut
and had a large hole where the eye poked out. A broken
voice echoed out from the burnt one: “Spare us some
money… ” He reached out to me with his muck covered
palm open. “Don’t ask! Just take. No one will ever
help us.” The other man said. He pushed his friend to
the ground. The insanity expressed reminded me of a
cornered animal. Saliva seeped from the crevice formed
by his parting lips as he pulled out a rusty knife.
          “Come on Jim! Are you gonna stand there like
a p***y, or you gonna drop some balls and help out?”
          “SHUT UP SKEET! Why you gotsta be so damn
violent?”
          “Because, you never get any help when you’re
on your last leg!”
          “Doesn’t mean you have to kill any one.”
          “You don’t get it! You’d rather beg and not
receive than to use force and get what you desire? I
should have never helped you! You are a waste of my
time and energy!”
          “…Then why did you? If I’m a waste then why
bother?”
          “YOU’RE MY FRIEND! YOU ARE MY ACCOMPLICE!”
          “Here. Take this money and leave me be. I
don’t want any harm and neither do you guys.” I handed
them some of my money.
          “See Skeet? Some people are generous and
will help out if you don’t use violence.”
          “You… You’re right… I’m sorry sir, it’s just
that the poverty gives way into insanity. I’ve longed
for a good meal for years. It’s not a good reason to
pull a knife out. I’ll leave you be sir… Come on Jim,
let’s get outta here.” After his speech they left. I
was on my way to a store. I wanted to get some food. I
stopped and realized that I had no home. I thought
that there was no point in buying anything. I still
continued onward at least to get some drinks. In the
store I saw her. She paused and our eyes met, I stared
into her gorgeous eyes. She began to blush and started
a girlish giggle. She walked over to me and gave me
her name.
          “Hello there Mr. Crazy!” She had a big smile
on her caramel face.
          “Hello…” I uttered.
          “How have you been John?”
          “I’ve been fine. I almost got mugged on my
way here. I gave them some money and they were on
their way.”
          “Why’d you give them your money? They were
probably just a couple of punks with no money from
their parents.”
“No. They were actual bums. They needed some medical
attention. Poor saps. No one should have to live like
that.”
          “Well it sounds like you have had an
eventful day.”
          “To say the least. Every day I’m out of the
hospital it seems something goes on. By the way, what
is your name?”
          “You don’t remember do you?”
          “No I don’t… sorry.”
          “It’s okay. My name is Lydia.”
          “Where did I meet you? I really don’t recall
ever meeting you.”
          “I was the girl who was in the trauma-hawk
who made sure you were still with us.”
          “Oh.” She smiled at me and moved closer to
me.
          “When you saw me you told me I was the most
beautiful girl you’ve ever seen. It was so cute. You
grabbed my hand and told me to come and visit you.
Then you went into your coma. I was at your bed-side a
lot to check up on you. I was worried that you
wouldn’t make it.”
          “I really don’t remember. I don’t see why
you would wait for some guy to wake up, especially
since you didn’t even know him. Why did you wait for
me?”
“I felt something. I wanted to see if I could feel it
again. I wanted to see if you felt it too. You made me
happy… Seeing you trapped inside a dream for five
months almost killed me. I felt like I promised you
I’d be there when you awoke.”
“Well, I am indebted to you for saving me. Those lousy
doctors really didn’t do anything. They pumped me full
of meds and prayed I’d awake. I herd them all the
time. They tried to overdose me a few times. They were
tired of me being there. Then I awoke and they claimed
that their methods had worked… They should be shot for
thinking such s**t.”
“Well… There is only one way for you to repay your
debt.”
“And what is that Lydia?”
“Date me. Show me you feel the way I did.”
“I cannot do that…” Her smile turned to a frown and
tears shone from her eyes and they turned from a hazel
to a deep blue.
“Why… Are…”
“Look… I was just engaged and my fiancée passed away
not to long ago. I’m just not ready.”
“Sure…” She turned away and left me. I felt like an
a*****e, but I wasn’t ready yet.

I made my way out of the store and headed to Rosie’s
house. I went to open the door when it smacked me in
the face.
“Where the f**k have you been you jerk?!?!?”
“Calm down Rosie.”
“CALM DOWN? DID YOU F****N’ LOSE YOUR MIND?”
“You tell me…”
“You never came to help me. I almost died. Some guy
named Ray helped me out.”
“Ray what?”
“Ray Karm… Why you know him?”
“As a matter a fact I do. I’ve known him for years.”
“So why didn’t you come to help me?”
“I’ve been in a coma for a few months apparently. I
was involved in this accident… by the way; I totaled
your viper… sorry.”
“You… WHAT?”
“I’m sorry Rosie… just alotta s**t has been happening
to me. I’ll make it up to you somehow.”
          “You f****n better… that car was my
favorite. I hate you…”
          “You gonna let me in?”
          “I guess, but you don’t deserve it…” she
whispered; “A*****e.” Under her breath as she let me
in. I made my way for the sofa, and got an evil stare
from her.
          “God, now what? I couldn’t help you cuz I
was fucked, and I’m sorry the damn car is gone!”
          “Don’t be so pissy… just wanted a hug. Men
are so emotional…” I stood there a little annoyed. I
wanted to slap her. The rest of the night went ok. We
had both calmed down. She went upstairs to change into
pajamas while I turned on the television. It was a
commercial about car insurance and said you never know
when you’ll need it. I laughed at it. The news came on
and they were reporting about an accident. It happened
earlier today and one of the people involved died in
the hospital, while the other lived. They never said
who they were.
          “Anything eventful on the news?” asked
Rosie.
          “Some guy bit the dust after being in an
accident. He was drunk. Idiots human kind are in this
age. Claim to be brilliant because we can clone, but
are stupid enough to drive while fucked up…”
          “Look at you… you aint that much better.”
          “I wasn’t drunk. It was life or death, then
jail or freedom.”
          “I’m going upstairs to relax and sleep. You
have a bed tonight if you want. It’s in the guest
room. You still don’t deserve it though.”
          “Well no more getting kidnapped again and
we’ll call it even.” I said playfully. Rosie looked at
me and gave an evil look an went to bed. I laughed at
her. After a while of television, I made my way
upstairs and to bed.

          I woke screaming, and writhing in pain. My
head throbbed and my body quaked. My lungs compressed
and my stomach exploded. I began to spin. It was
horrendous. “Losing… losing… control… I… can’t… ” I
blacked out.
          “Freedom! I am free!” I said with triumph!
“Oh God I’m f****n free!”
          “John! Are you alright? Open the f****n
door!” She beat the door down and was still screaming.
“Thank God! I thought you were dying or something.” I
looked up and stared at her. She had a puzzled look on
her face. I stood up and walked over to her.
          “And just who the f**k are you?”
          “No… C’mon, don’t do this now. It’s me
Rosie. Think John!”
          “Just like that f****n doctor. My Goddamn
name is Justin! Get it right you f****n w***e!” I
slammed her head into the wall. Some friend of his is
just as bad as he. Oh it feels good to have control! I
wish he is watching and begging me to stop. The girl
was knocked cold on the ground.
          “I’m not giving in to you! Never!” He said
          “You aren’t in control now! Stay in your
place and we’ll be better off. Just play dead and
never surface again!”
          “F**k you! This is my body and mind! We are
not the same!”
          “Tell yourself lies, who cares? I sure as
hell don’t.” In an instant he was suppressed. I took
some of her stuff and made my way out of there. The
night time was great! Idiots all over! I won’t be
caged anymore! Some fucked up bum came up to me askin
if I could lend him some cash again. I laughed at him
and told him to f**k off. He didn’t take to kindly to
that and thought he’d mug me. He pulled out a knife
and lunged for me. I dodged him and kicked the back of
his shin. He stumbled and dropped the knife.
          “I’m sorry to mess with you! Please, I’ll
just go.”
          “Sure ya will…” I said sarcastically. “Go
now if you’re gonna. Last and first chance you’ll ever
get.”
          “Thank you. You’re not the same one from
before.”
          “You know him??? Haha! That changes
everything! Tell your friend in hell when he gets
there Justin says good riddance!” I ran over to him
and grabbed his throat. His eyes were wide open and I
could see the fear and life fleeing from his being. I
threw him down and he choked on the air around him. I
picked the knife from the ground and made my way
towards him. I sunk the blade deep within his open eye
and watched as he yelled in agony. I ripped it out
only to thrust it in the other eye. Ripping it out
once again so I could plunge it within his
Adam’s-apple. He stopped moving and fell over. I
kicked the body and laughed some more.
          “My friend! Skeet… gone? You murdered him!
Murderer!” called out a trembling voice. His agony
only fueled the desire within my black heart. His face
was horrendous. A swollen eye and burned face. I’d
only be helping the man.
          “What happened to you? You only let us go so
you could kill us later? What the f**k is wrong with
you?”
          “You know him as well? Oh the joy! Blame him
for your dying!” I took the knife and went over to
him.
          “Only cocky with a knife huh? P***y! Drop it
and let’s see if you’re a man.”
          “Makes no difference. As you desire!” I
threw it into the other man’s corpse. This man ran to
me with tremendous force. He was very agile too. No
difference. He had no rationality, therefore no
thought. To be fair, I let him get the first shot. He
hit my jaw and sent me back a couple feet.
          “Not so tough now?” he declared. His
overconfidence was humiliating. He ran at me again and
this time I fought back. As he came close I punched
his gut and he slowed. I ran over and kicked him in
the side of the knee as hard I could. He fell to one
knee. I came again and kneed his back, the circled and
kicked his face. As his head tilt back, I grabbed in
the hole between his eye lid and cheek. I pulled back
with all my strength until the skin and stitches
ripped. Blood rushed around me and he rolled holding
the damaged eye. I dragged him over to a dumpster,
picked him up and rested him half in and half out. I
went to the side of it and slammed the steel lid on
his abdomen. He screamed. I picked it back up and
repeated the process until he was not moving. After it
was over, I put him in the dumpster, along with his
friend. It was where they belonged. The rest of the
night wasn’t as fun as that as. Walking amongst the
stains of society was she, the woman from before.
“Roxie…” I muttered. She was highly intoxicated
judging her sways and almost empty bottle. I walked
over to her and paused.
          “Who the hell are you?” Her speech was
slurred. I stood there, not letting her pass. She
tried swinging the bottle, but I grabbed it from her.
          “What happened to you? Don’t remember me?
Justin? You told me that this would stop.” Her eyes
had a glazed look as she fell over. She was out. To
prevent anyone from using her, I took her to an inn
for the night. Only reason I’m proud of him is he had
money. I didn’t sleep that night. Not that I wasn’t
tired, but the concern of me letting him escape had me
on edge. I just watched shows and checked on her.
Hours and hours went by, until she began moving. I sat
up and turned over to her. Her eyes slowly opened and
she began to rise.
          “You’re up. Sleep well?”
          “Huh? Who’s there? How’d I get here?”
          “I brought you here after you collapsed.”
          “You didn’t f**k me did you?”
          “No… That’s why I brought you here Roxie, so
no one would take advantage of you.”
          “Is your name Justin? You’re the one from
the alley those many months ago. I couldn’t keep the
promise… I gave up on you. You never came back to help
me.”
          “I couldn’t… At least you’re alright.” After
a couple hours of recovery she went and showered. I
waited for her to get out. She took forever. When she
finally emerged from the door I went in. The warm
water was like bliss long forgotten. I stood staring
blankly for a few minutes. I stepped out of the
shower, got dressed, and opened the door to find she
was gone. Like that she was gone. I was… sad. I
laughed because it felt like I just had a one night
stand. I couldn’t fight anymore so I slept. I dreamt
of the day I met Roxie. The rest is a haze. I woke up
and she was hovering over me. She had new clothes and
handed me the wallet.
          “Why’d you lie to me?”
          “What are you talking about?”
          “Though your name is Justin.”
          “It is… The wallet and ID is his…”
          “Whose, cuz that guy looks like you. You
have a twin? A twin named John?”
          “He’s no twin. He’s the other me. My other
personality. He stole my body years ago. If you meet
him, he’ll tell you different. He comes and stays for
a while.”
          “Really? I thought doctors did the thing
where they pick the sperm and egg with the least
abnormalities. They wouldn’t let the unstable out.
Unless your parents didn’t go to doctors.”
          “My parents? I don’t know.”
          “How do I know you aren’t the imaginary? How
do you know that?”
          “I guess I don’t. Thanks for shattering my
sense of reality. Maybe you should ask him one day. He
might help. The papers are all in his name. I want a
way out of this nightmare. I want him to go away.” I
spent the rest of the day with her. She is nice… I
exist to her. That night I fell asleep with her on
top. She is everything and all I have…

          I was convinced I was lost when the fresh
air hit my skin. I could feel again.