My Reality

I wrote this at a very confusing time of my life, where I didn't know what to think or who I could trust.

I don't know how long,

my life is out of my control,

everything out of place, wrong,

moving faster, always on a roll.

 

When time finally releases me,

where will I end up? Where will I be?

I'm calling out to you from ages past,

someone please help me steady my world.

 

My reality, unstable and spinning out of control,

friends and enemies mixing together,

until they seem alike and I am confused,

trying to follow my skewed version of forever.

 

A crooked path that creates insanity,

ever-present choices that befuddle me,

vanity and popularity over morality,

what has my sense of reality come to be?

 

Now I sit here, alone in the dark,

nursing my broken spirit and unused intellect,

watching as my reality and I fall apart,

I need time to heal and reflect.

 

Who am I or what am I,

beyond the stereotype they place on me,

without provocation, but plenty of reason,

what has my reality come to be?

 

Is that all I am, just another noise in the background,

some stereotype to pass away,

pushed off with a dirty, annoyed look?

What am I supposed to say?

 

Criticism far beyond constructive,

words flying like silver arrows,

piercing my heart with deadly accuracy,

killing me with their cruelty.

 

I need someone to help me,

I'm drowning in my own eternity,

I can't seem to hold my own,

against the current that is life.

 

Now they put me on a pedestal,

forcibly endowed with someone other than me,

putting me where I never wanted to be,

someone pull me up from my grave of humility.

 

What has my reality come to be?