Dying Words..

I'm sorry your wounds are too severe

You are going to die today

What will you say?

We all want to know

Will you thank your foes?

 

Thank you to everyone I owed my life to

Now I won't be so blue.

Mother please don't cry

Not as I say goodbye.

 

Mother and father I tried

I could only take one side.

I saw the bright light

And fought with all my might.

 

Alas, I was not the victor

But I did make our win quicker.

I didn't care if my life was a blur

As long as I could save her.

 

She was my will

My drug that was not a pill.

I won't get to be with my family as we grow

No, now I will become as pure as the snow.

 

I will watch from the heavens above

I made a memory everyone could think of.

I am proud of what I did today

Those monsters did pay.

 

I wish you all the luck as you move on

But remember, I won't be entirely gone.

My loved ones, keep me in your hearts

For this is only the start.

 

As for you my wonderful wife

You are the one that made my life.

A life that I will always cherish

Now please hear my word and never perish.

 

Take care of our unborn baby

Don't let him become a crybaby.

Here is my last request, keep my memory alive

And for always and forever, you must thrive.

“I love you…Good……Bye….”

Reviews

[Cricket Kidd]

Oh Weep! this is so sad! Yet, in a sort of sweet way. I would like to know if there is a story behind it, I imagined it as a duel, it was just over, and the protagonist is dying. people he loves surround him, including his family and his young wife. I can totally see it! Good write!

[Just Brooke]

Awe its so sad=[ I loved it though =]

[Chris Smith Welshpoetcs]

Very powerful, the song Seasons In The Sun by Terry Jacks is playing in my mind when reading this. Excellent poem.

[.]

oh what a sad poem...

[Adelia Alighieri]

Wow, this is amazing, absolutely! There's so much of thought and emotion in it. Well done!

[Ravyne Hawke]

I love that this poem tells a story, a very endearing yet sad one. I love the rhyme and feel that you did a great job keeping the rhyming pure. Not sure if you were going for any kind of structured rhythm, but I could definitely see this poem being structured into a classic rhythm should you desire to rework the meter a bit. Meter and Rhyme poems are my nemesis, so I could understand if you wouldn't wish to go there.

[haylie]

every word i read i could feel the story, it made me relize life is a gift . amazing writing.

[Kala Benfield]

I loved this, this is absolutely heart wrenching. i loved it..

[Hope]

I'm speechless. I cannot describe to you of how amazing this poem is.
All's I can say is, very well done!

[SOUL LESS]

If I don't review something it means i'm speechless and think that "Awesome" or "Wow" doesn't cover it.
I have decided not to review it. :)

[BeccaBelieved-]

I love it :) Very well done.