Crystal, I am sorry to have taken so long to review this, now moreso that I know the quality of the write. I think I've told you before that you have a distinct style to your writing...not sameness, just clearly unique. You choices of words to complete thoughts are not the common way to go but they always work brilliantly. "Licking the quiet off my fingers I savor the fleeting taste of clarity." A great line, to be sure, but I think that inserting the word 'fleeting' imbues the line with a sense of urgency, a jolt of 'hurry!' I'm saving this in my library favorites, so thank you for that! take care...dan
hhhmm I am picking up on ideas of finesse and savagery.. "licking the quiet off my fingers" yes like as if the silence is a sweet marinade.. great work!
Crystal , your expression here is heart felt and heart telling. I am an introvert by nature but have unlocked the doors to it and became free of being trapped behind it. Start slowly but put yourself out there a little bit at a time and you will become more confident. Have you ever watched people dance and think to yourself, I wish I could be like that? Everyone that is not dancing is thinking the same thing. The people that are dancing aren't paying attention to the people that aren't dancing, because they are having too much fun. I decided I didn't want to be a wallflower anymore and am dancing. Nothing wrong with being an introvert if you are happy though. "If something makes you happy what else could you ask for or should you ask for?"
"Licking the quiet off my fingers, I savor the fleeting taste of clarity"
"blemished perfection"
Now these lines really expressed to me your true feelings...how well you have wrapped your emotions around your words. They really are resonating well with me, and I have learnt a new way of expressing myself from you, thank you!
I feel the struggle of introverts forced to make conversations to strangers; more so, forced to entertain a variety of people (who needs help, who is angry, who is lost, etc...) just because we have no other choice. I hope you'll still find meaning to get on with it. Now for the Poem-criticism part, it's decent. Although you need to work on your play of words because it's not consistent. Building up for the climax was there so + points for you.
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
I don't really write for others but thanks for the feedback.
9 Years Ago
Don't mention it, a game master always loves to sniff around and enjoy the show from the shadows.
I am a poet by nature. Words just speak to me and color my world. I away think of poetry as painting with phases, just as vibrant and life giving as they are messy and complex. more..