Memories of Embers

Fear not the dark, for you are loved. And love is the one thing that conquers all.

When I was a child, 

I knew so little.

I knew little about grammar and taxes,

Little about responsibility.

Little about fear.

It was morning.

I would laugh and play, running around in the back yard to my house.

Sunlight warming my skin and slowly changing the evening frost to dewdrops.

The sound of panting dogs as they tailed alongside me. My steeds, my companions.

Pure, blissful freedom was the state I was trapped in.

The sun's brilliant rays of red, orange, and yellow, shining upon a new day.

It was morning.

As I grew, I became more aware.

My senses more acute.

I gained knowledge.

Knowledge of arithmetic in a classroom scented of wax and paper.

Knowledge of how to spell. How to properly create sentences from words.

Knowledge of fear.

It was the afternoon.

I would study and read, sitting by the hearth that alternated, cold to hot, as seasons went by.

Sunlight now more sweltering and uncomfortable than the warmth of the morning's light.

The panting of the German Shepherds long since ceased by the rift between loved ones.

Though I do not forget. I do not forget the wiry, yet smooth texture of the coats of my friends.

The essence of their presence and saliva on my cheek.

Scorching heat, sweat tanned skin, charring the life created by the morning.

It was the afternoon. 

In my current state, I know more than I could have ever fathomed.

How grateful I am that my imagination stayed with me.

With it, I wield an instrument greater than any I could ever ask for.

Memories.

It is the twilight.

I now know about the horrors of the world.

And in every dark corner, they seek to seize and take hold of me.

Pressure exerted, I learned more about them. And how to wield them.

Pride, Greed, Envy, Lust, Sloth, Wrath, and Gluttony.

These were the things that crept about in the shadows.

They chased away the memories of a child so free.

They began to set aflame the memories I carried with me through my past.

And in the void they waited, ready to pull me under and hold me until I was properly cut off from air.

With every loved one lost, with every illusion of a dream shattered, they took hold. 

Grew stronger.

I knew only fear.

It is the twilight.

Then something strange happened.

Within all the darkness that snaked its way into the day,

A single ember remained. And this ember, I held onto.

I kept the spark with me, waiting.

For what, I knew not. However, something about the way it warmed my frigid extremities,

Seemed familiar. A calm warmth, a distant remnant of a memory.

A sunrise in a land that I will not likely find in my dreams.

It is the evening.

I thought I could not learn anymore.

Until I learned of a new emotion.

Love.

Love, I was surrounded by it. By my parents, my friends, and her.

Everyone who I cared so much for and who cared for me. This was love.

Not the type of love you hear about in fairy tails or stories of kings and queens.

This was a love that was more than love.

And this love breathed upon the ember, making it grow and burn bright.

And as the day grew on, and the sun set, tucking itself deeper into the earth,

I finally understood.

The pain that I faced was only momentary. The demons that had haunted my steps for so long could be tamed.

And the love that I felt by those who made a difference in my dark little world,

Had helped that small ember grow into a raging flame. A flame that chased away the dark.

I cast that flame far ahead to illuminate the dark I know is yet to come.

And the light.

The gentle, warm light brought tears to my eyes.

Memories of laughter, running around in the back yard to my old house.

Sunlight warming my skin and slowly changing the evening frost to dewdrops.

The sound of panting dogs as they tailed alongside me. My steeds, my companions.

Pure, blissful freedom was the state I now basked in.

The sun's brilliant rays of red, orange, and yellow, shining upon a new day.

And I know now that the night is still in a land far ahead. No, the day has just begun.

It is morning.