Ocean (rewritten)

I wrote a poem about the ocean long ago, and didn't like it so much.You can still check it out.

The sea salt smell pets my face.


The grainy sand and my feet work together to make a mark,soon to be washed away.


The cool, salty water is gentle , and cools my feet.


My hands reach down to form an sphere like shape, then lets it fall.


A breeze says hello, and welcomes me back home.


Fish and dolphins become my friends as I lay and enjoy a sunshine filled day.

Author's Note

What do you think???

Reviews

[Aventicus]

Wonderful, I can always appreciate a simple and beautiful poem with good imagery. In truth, I'm not too fond of the Romantic Poets, but that is a different story altogether. It's always good to capture the world as it is rather than constantly focusing on the deep philosophical dilemmas of the heart and mind. Well written, my friend.