Menacing Creed

A story about mental illness.

Lost eyes display no vacancy sign

No choice to politely decline

So many beings to ignore

They, with a vengeance, do explore

 

Torturing a mind without  escape

Within a place, manipulate

Obstructing flow with an aching need

Does cause harm; this menacing creed

 

Whispers of promise and damaged might

Evoke wings with magical flight

Only those who undoubtedly hear it

Fly with inhibited spirit

 

Reveal the plight the voices may dare

Which cause your anguish and despair

Take vengeance on your unholy ghost

Who invaded and made you host.

 

Healing the mind will release your soul

Ask for God’s hand to make you whole

Looking only left but never right

Overshadows His guiding light

 

Follow to the right to see the dawn

And break free as the devil’s pawn

Sweet baby boy, we feel your pain

For none of us are truly sane

This is our family's story

Author's Note

Reviews

[G.A. Collins]

This.

This is inconceivably brilliant.

You hit the metaphorical nail on the head, and rapped it up beautifully with the haunting lines
"Sweet baby boy, we feel your pain,
For none of us are truly sane."

Amen to that.
This piece was especially evoking for me, as a past victim to troubling mental affairs, and to see the beauty within your descriptions of such a dark state, reminded me, as good ol' Dumbledore once said:
"light can be found evening the darkest of places, if one simply remembers to turn on the light."

[CrochetRie]

For us, those who are now in the throws of complete delirium, it is metaphorical. However, for my son it is very literal.

And my dear, you are only a victim if you choose to be. I prefer warrior ;)

[G.A. Collins]

I feel you are completely right there...you words are so powerful.

[CrochetRie]

I meant to say *not in the throws...

[Thomas W Case]

Powerful work. Fantastic.

[HeyJadeXO]

I really enjoy this piece ,great job !

[Lee Foreman]

This was awesome.. I could definitely relate as I have family members who suffer with mental illness.. To me it brought awareness to mental illness which touched me the most..

[Frieda P]

Profoundly deep, dark and enthralling. Intensely emotive metaphors that flow within the sadness of this Delerium... last line is killer, so true!

[CrochetRie]

Thank you Frieda

[Tom]

Profound and stark to great effect, well crafted indeed !

A stunning write highlighting a difficult subject for some, but you handled it with aplomb !

[CrochetRie]

Thank you, Tom. Some are shocked that I've even posted this but, I ask, what do we have to be ashamed of? Mental illness should be not be treated any differently than another medical condition. If it were so, I would not have had to write a poem about it.

[Tom]

Couldn't agree more !

[Douglas White]

This was jaw-dropping. My mother had a complete breakdown when I was only 8, and never recovered. She had literally become a drooling idiot until the day she died when I was 24. Each verse describes part of her journey from the breakdown through her treatment under a psychiatrist who couldn't care less about her, and who eventually just left her behind, still broken. This was painful to read, but it hit the truth.

[CrochetRie]

This poem describes what we are facing and whole heartedly trying to bring him "back" to us. The link at the end of the poem is an article written about my son and our struggle to get him psychological treatment and how the laws prevent us from doing so. I hope you read it. There will be more articles soon. This I know.

[Douglas White]

I did read it. It is a harsh reality that the people who need the help the most are the least likely to get it, and for the most base of all reasons - money. I truly hope you find success in rescuing him from himself. No one deserves what he, and all of your family, is having to struggle with.

[CrochetRie]

thank you so much

[ron]

Very haunting. I dont know as I have felt such a way at that level. It is something to give thought to. well done.

[Sami Khalil]

A very well written poem and inspirational on so many levels...Thank you for posting...:)

[CrochetRie]

Thank you Sami

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)

[Jack...]

Carrie, I find this to be very well written and the message is spoken loudly. the flow is nice and the rhyme very good. Your pain is evident, but your love is projected and understood. There is a sadness that is created, perhaps even more so in me do to your message, but I love it and think you did great with this. That is my honest opinion.

[CrochetRie]

Thank you so much! I really appreciate your thoughts!