Reality or Delusion? (Where do I stay?)

A peculiar kind of saving.

This pang of enforced closeness,
So removed from reality,
Yet the delusion betrays me,
The pang I feel by these coarse skins.

This throbbing that I slave under,
The wringing pain upon my chest,
Delusions suffocate me to threshold,
And I implode into brittle tears,
Scarring my lynched senses.

This ache that I bask under,
Maybe this anguish transgresses into void,
I assimilate to these realities and delusions of being,
Yet, I trap myself in this hunt of lies.

Forever lying under this unforgiving roof,
Pricking my spirit and my pith,
I walk on these scathing feet,
Away, forever, on a search for,
A new dimension of mystic.

Author's Note

Hope you like it :)

Reviews

[Hannah Morgan]

Excellent work yet again. You are definitely a writer I must keep an eye on. I really feel the mood you are conveying and you express it well. The only thing I can offer as criticism to support you in your future work is if your subject is yourself, only use 'I' sparingly or not at all. Trust your reader to feel your emotions and walk in your foot steps while they read. My dad gave me this advice when I started writing. I hope it hasn't caused offence in anyway. Again keep up the good work!

[Crimson_ish]

Sorry for the late response, I was appearing for my finals. Don't worry, you did not offend me :) It was a lovely criticism, I suppose I veil myself in omnipresent or second narrator because I fear acknowledging my own feelings, well we all face the strings of repression, I will try what you recommended me, and hopefully soon I will be able to create something breathtaking :) I am so glad you loved my poem, thank you so much for giving me your time and kind words :) means a lot!

[Hannah Morgan]

You are very welcome and I hope your finals went well. Your responses are even poetic! It is definitely in your soul! You will go create many more awesome pieces I am certain of that.

[Crimson_ish]

You flatter me! *blush* :)

[Hannah Morgan]

I speak only the truth :-) When a compliment is due. I pay up front lol

[Nia Lisa]

You wrote something very emotionally-powerful. It looks like the person in this poem is forced to fake relationships and harmony with people they are repulsed by (from what I interpreted). Trying to conform to a delusion while also trying to break free from it can create what I think is called Cognitive Dissonance? (Correct me if I'm wrong) I do think one of the strong points of your poem was how you portrayed the emotions of such dissonance, and resistance

[Crimson_ish]

Sorry for the late response, I was appearing for my finals. You're absolutely correct! you're interpretation is spot on! Although a poem is subjected to disparate perception, mine was the one you talked about. We all struggle with inconsistencies, it's a difficult aspect of life which roots our anxiety, rage, and reality, somewhere we all search for catharsis, don't we? I am so glad you loved my little piece :) thank you for your wonderful words! means a lot!

[Country boy183798]

Top class! This poem is my favorite among all your other works (Though I have not read ceremony and Cafe yet). But I really like this one.
"This ache that I bask under,
Maybe this anguish transgresses into void,
I assimilate to these realities and delusions of being,
Yet, I trap myself in this hunt of lies."
That bit is magical! Thank you for sharing it and keep on writing.

[Crimson_ish]

Sorry for the late response, I was appearing for my finals. Thank you so much for liking my little piece of work, I am so happy you find it magical, and thank you for checking my other works too, means a lot :)

[Inject Positivity]

This one seems very different from your usual tone of writing poetry, I like how you gave a sad and unknown imagery in it, there is a dark thought that runs through the poem and it really puts the reader under deep thoughts.... Your ending was interesting, you gave a positive ending to it by looking for a new way life... Enjoyed your different kind of poem Kajal....

[Crimson_ish]

Thank you, Dhiman for your lovely words, finally didn't I learn optimism from you? :)

[barleygirl]

Your message is kinda vague, so I'm not sure what's being described, but your vivid imagery is so powerful, it makes your reader shudder with recognition. I guess it's written to fit all similar experiences. Being bipolar, I can often imagine a real-life scenario with such fabricated drama, I will have this feeling of not knowing if it's reality or delusion. I can read the worst intentions into other people's actions, which weren't really meant to be mean. At these times, I must stop myself from reacting on my perceived torments, which are similar to what you've described in this poem. This message also describes the grinding that we all succumb to, when we feel we've been slighted or disregarded or disrespected, unable to let go of all the bad intentions we inject into a possibly harmless situation. Very realistic bleak portrait of a crazed mind fixated on negativity.

[Crimson_ish]

Yes, I intended it to be vague as I wished for it to assimilate all those desolate moments we go through. Being Bipolar is really difficult, especially on your veins and temperament, I understand your point as that was exactly what I was trying to evoke. Certain moments are so difficult to comprehend in a frenzied state of mind that no more reality or delusions exist, no more relations exist, constancy is just a word. Thank you for understanding my poem :) I really appreciate your insightful review :) *hugs!*