Dark Love

To Fall So Hard For Someone At First Sight Only To Be Led On... And Hurt...

  The Pain of Loving...…  

          As I took my seat, I felt numb and lonely

          For this class never presented anything of interest.

          All of a sudden, I see you enter and for a moment, light encases me.

          At first, I tried to hold myself at a distant and stay aloof, but you wouldn’t let me.

          You kept turning back and you kept intervening with my conversations.

          At that point, I really began to fight myself because I couldn’t stand anymore pain or heartbreak,

          But the moment you turned and flashed me a smile, I fell.

          I fell into such a deep and dark abyss, that I lost myself completely.

          Now, I could fight no longer cuz you made me fall hard for you,

          And yet, you only seem to be toying with me.

          You made me fall for you and now,

          There are days when you made me happy,

          And then, there are days when you wound me more.

          After that, I only suffered more.

          The night that I talked with you, late into the dusk, I got to know more about you.

          At first, I wasn’t so sure about you, but at that moment, I felt as if I knew more about you than before.

          Now, I feel as if I am even closer to you, but for that,

          I suffer more than ever before.

          Captivated by your past,

          Bound by your present,

          And interested in your future.

          Honestly, after I knew more about you, I have only come to love you more,

          And for that, I suffer more and more everyday.

          Now, all I can say is…

I Love You

And

I’ll Suffer For You

...

Author's Note

If there are some grammer or spelling mistakes, please leave me a small note or message, so that I'll know to fix it later. Also, this is one of my first, few successful poems, so if there's anything that I'm doing wrong or if the dialogue is bad, then please tell me so that I can acknowledge my own mistakes and fix it. Aside from that... enjoy, comment, and what not. Enjoy!! ^_^

Reviews

[Gregory Hill]

Well it looks good in the content but there are a few spelling problems such as holf instead of hold near the begining but nothing you won't catch on you way through. Now a few of the lines are a bit long so it messes up the flow which is fine but you might want to make an effort and see if amny can be shortened such as, As I talked I learned more of you, late in dusk. Sorry thats not much shorted but it eliminated the need for Night as you say it is in the dusk. Good job keep up the good work. I'm sure if you look over it again it will be fine. Thanks.

[Jo]

Very beautiful. I really like how you set this one up. It's a sweet love poem as it is sad since she has to suffer to be with him. It also has a bit of mystery about why the girl has to suffer to be with him. Did something specially inspire you to write this?

You did have one mistake I did want to mention. In the 4th line, you put 'holf' where you meant hold.
Also, and note-this is one of my peeves (except with texting) you wrote 'cuz'. I would write 'cause, but that is my own personal preference.
Also, just a tip, be careful with using exclamation marks. I've never seen them in poems before (well with an exception of on literary poet) but there's nothing wrong with that. I just wanted to mention that tip because you should let your words speak for themselves, and yours certainly do.

Favorite part:
Captivated by your past,
Bound by your present,
And interested in your future.

Love it