This Empty Place

A Poem by =

I surround myself with all this space,

Just one reminder of past mistakes,

In which it was always me in the wrong,

I sit alone, in this empty place,

Think of which my life I've based,

Wondering how you stayed so strong.

I think at last, of your empty face,

As it hurt, emotion gone without trace,

Screaming to me your empty song.

The things of which said,

They were never the case,

For years you've been gone,

From this empty place.

© 2016 =

My Review

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Reviews

The Critic

I can see William's point about imagery. I personally prefer it when a poem has strong imagery, but this is an exception. Looking at it from an abstract perspective, you did a great job on this. I did feel the emptiness that you were trying to convey.

Posted 8 Years Ago

Coyote Poetry

When good people are gone from our life. Empty places in the mind and heart remind us. We were lucky once. Thank you Roy for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

Posted 8 Years Ago

William Liston

This is a pretty good poem, but there are some things that I must critique. First of all, the imagery in this poem could be a lot stronger. The phrases you use such as "all this space" and "empty face" could be a lot more vivid; instead of merely telling about emptiness, you could use concrete images to convey your emotion towards the emptiness. Also, be carefull wheh you repeat words. Even though it is the focal point of the poem, I would suggest that you not use the word "empty" so much. If you want a more in depth critique, please message me.

-William Liston