Addiction

A little story about my struggle with addiction

I have been a victim of addiction. Victim, no I chose my addictions over life. I have suffered through addiction for many years now. It all started with the death of my brother on April 21st, 2005, I was twelve years old. My addictions began with self inflicting harm not long after. It would draw all of the attention away from what the storm that I was feeling inside. If I'm being honest, I wanted to die but was to much of a coward to take my life (if that can even be called cowardly). After a couple years of cutting I decided to step it up to drugs and alcohol. I figured that if I wasn't going to die that I could at the very least escape this terribly dark world that I was living in. I allowed my addictions to completely consume every aspect of my life. Nothing mattered anymore except making sure that I had some type of substance to keep me physically present but mentally in my own world. My addictions have almost killed me so many times that I couldn't count them if I tried. I stopped caring about everyone and everything, my addictions were the only thing that mattered to me. I have forgotten how to be alive because I have been so scared to actually live. I may never be able to regain what I have lost because I chose addiction over everything else.

I am lucky enough today to get another chance to live a life no longer filled with fear, shame, regret, self hate, hate for others or anything like that. I am lucky enough to still be alive today to say that I want the addictions no longer. I choose life. I choose me.

Reviews

[Relic]

BRAVO!!! I commend you for an honest and positive outlook on life after addiction. I've never been in that situation but I know plenty of people who have been. It's not easy and there are always slips, but You can do it as long as you believe in yourself. I wish you the best of luck. :)

[CreatureKane]

Well thank you, I really appreciate that! It most certainly isn't easy but if it's what I want than nothing can stop me.

[Relic]

Great reply!

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Live your raw honesty
This is great

[ena]

I really appreciate your honesty.There are some circumstances which always lead to such disastrous thoughts like being dying .The real winners are those who make a building by collecting the stones thrown at them by life,you are one of them.
Kudos!

[CreatureKane]

well thank you very much. i appreciate you reading and i'm very glad you liked it. Life is a constant battle for a lot of people and i think that really goes unnoticed by the vast majority

[ena]

It is indeed a battle but we should never bother about it being noticed by others.Live a life for yourself .
:)

[CreatureKane]

That is very true. There isn't a point to live a life for anyone but ourselves (unless you have kids), but even then i think people need to remember to take time for themselves as well. I try not to let things get to me so much anymore, but some days it is definitely harder than others

[Alistair (Ali)]

Well written- brave and putting it out there, kudos to you my friend!

[CreatureKane]

Thank you, I really appreciate that. I just started writing like 3 days ago and i put these 4 little stories together. It is a great constructive outlet for me.

[skeletongirl]

i can feel this piece of writing. The struggles of life are sometimes unbarable. Thank you for not taking the life of which such beautiful words are yet to be heard.

[CreatureKane]

thank you very much. Life is very different for every individual and some people suffer everyday without ever letting anyone else know; it is a shame that so many people feel like they can't ask for help. I am so glad that i am still alive and free to begin again what i so carelessly squandered before

[Karmee]

I choose life, I choose me...
Very wise decision
I am glad to be out of the hole I was in. I was in a very dark period.
I am glad you choose to live.

[CreatureKane]

Thank you. I am very glad as well. 😁