The Other Side of Me

I fake positivity to help others be more cheerful.
I try to be really kind.
It helps them feel more free.

A lot of them have felt worse than I have.
A lot of them are misunderstood.
They wear fake smiles, but all the while, their hearts are melting inside.
And at night,
They cry.

We too have sensitive feelings.
We may look fine on the outside, but we are scared of being judged.
We are scared of all those lies.
We all get pushed around, bullied, and thrown to the ground.
We get called some names and get laughed at everyday.

Sometimes, I look in the mirror.
I look at myself.
I look at how broken down I am.
I touch my heart, and the tears begin to start.

I look at you.
You say that I make you happy, but is it true?
How could it be?

How could you want a girl like me, a girl who feels hurt so easily?
I'm a lonely one.
No one ever cares.
I'm a sad one that's lost in her own head.

I can be over dramatic.
I can be impatient sometimes.
I don't have a good self esteem.
I call myself ugly.

I keep concealed, and I'm quiet.
I don't have many friends, and you know it!
When I do make a friend, I want to have them forever.

I'll start opening up.
I'll share my deepest secrets.
But I got bad luck, and I get torn all over again.

I want people to be honest.
Don't try to spare my emotions.
I need this, I want this, so tell me!

I used to be selfish, but I also used to be happy.
Now, the only place I like is the world within my dreams.

I don't deserve you.
If only you knew what I've done...
Then, you would understand.
Then, you'd see how angry I can get.

You're the light of my life.
You brighten up this darkness, but there are people better than the person writing this right now.

I like love, but it's also left me here to rot.
And I promise that within three months, you will be gone.

So that's okay...
It helps knowing that I won't be the one bringing you sadness.
I'm the one who should feel pain.
It actually relieves me somehow.

That night when I cried a thousand tears...
I sort of miss that feeling.

I've done it once before on a late summer evening.
It was when my best friend left.
I cried like I knew I would.

I always wondered if he cried too.
I know that you did.
And that just showed how much you cared, which makes this harder.
It makes it harder to tell you how bad a person I am.

I suffer from depression.
I suffer from regret.

So if you do decide to leave, I ask you to do it soon.
I ask this only so that it doesn't hurt as much.
I ask this only so that I don't die of a broken heart.

But if you do decide to stay, don't let my words make you upset.
I ask this because I don't mean everything I say.
I ask this because I love you.

Author's Note

I just needed to get my feelings out...

Reviews

[Jetta Zippora]

I know those exact feelings...those exact words...that pain...wow. I almost cried when I read this. So much of my past is in this poem and the memories are always hard to face. I still feel so alone sometimes, thinking that I am not worth it to people...but I'm always moved when I find others that feel the same way. This world is harsh and people are so impossible to connect with sometimes.
I have poured out my heart to people and then they always leave me and take my heart away with them.
You write so well and express your emotions so vividly. I am empathetic to your pain. You have so much talent as a writer. :) Keep on writing.

[Cool Girl]

dont feel alone..
Im always here if you want to talk sometime :)

Thank you so much!
Im so glad that you reviewed!
I will never stop writing, I promise :)

Thanks again!
I hope we can be friends

[Jetta Zippora]

You definitely are a very talented writer. I don't know if you plan to ever write and publish a book one day but I can totally see you capable of doing that :) I am glad to be friends with you.

[Cool Girl]

I really appreciate your kindness and support :)

[Lizardo]

Hit the core of Lizardo here.
So many feelings, that I can share and feel too.
Once upon a time, a young boy was born.
And trouble always found the boy.
and the boy always tried to escape depression
Unable to do so for 15 years, I still keep walking alone and sad.
High five with the ugly? I considered myself ugly to.


Take a deep breath, let the world pass you by
Close your eyes, think of all the stuff that makes you sad or cry
And then just let it out....
Open your eyes, come back to our world
Where you can as happy as a cloud.

Breath out, let the star guide you
You know it
Every time he barks
just send him out
Let your grace
be a dancy flower
in spring
around the world.

But you will heal
You will heal
You will heal
No doubt about it

[Cool Girl]

Thank you, Lizardo! You're such an amazing friend! Honestly, you're like an older brother to me, and I really appreciate that. Don't be sad, Lizardo. You're an awesome person :)

[closed]

Dream and Cool Girl

4ever

[Cool Girl]

No matter what, we can overcome our insecurities together..

I love you :)

[closed]

and I love you Aless

[Pushkar Prabhat]

everything and i mean everything written here resonates with me........seems like my own thoughts.......

see i have a strange logic: a doctor cannot operate on himself/herself.............but two wounded hearts can cure each other.........and heal.
i hope that makes some sense........

a suggestion: hope, cause it is always worth it, no matter what.

all the best and god bless.

if ever need clarity on thoughts.......you can text me.
:)

[Cool Girl]

That does make sense.
Thank you for your support, Pushkar.
You've been a great friend :)

[Pushkar Prabhat]

i am so glad i could help..........stay awesome!!! :) :)

[foufa la perle]

I ask this because I love you.

Let it out sweetheart, we're all together through this, so don't you worry about the little things and try to be a little happier. You're full of hope and life, don't let this go!

Liked it so much, great job!

[Cool Girl]

Thank you so much! I will try to be happier :)

[foufa la perle]

And I'll be happy for you :)

[Cool Girl]

Awe thanks dear :)

[Jen]

I think we all can relate, because at one stage of our life or another we all have been through emotional transformations. This is very deep, profound and raw. It was well written and has alot of flow to it that brings in the reader and opens us up as well because you are so honest. Wonderful piece. Thank you so much for sharing.

[Cool Girl]

Thank you! I appreciate it :)