The Other Side of Me

I fake positivity to help others be more cheerful.
I try to be really kind.
It helps them feel more free.

A lot of them have felt worse than I have.
A lot of them are misunderstood.
They wear fake smiles, but all the while, their hearts are melting inside.
And at night,
They cry.

We too have sensitive feelings.
We may look fine on the outside, but we are scared of being judged.
We are scared of all those lies.
We all get pushed around, bullied, and thrown to the ground.
We get called some names and get laughed at everyday.

Sometimes, I look in the mirror.
I look at myself.
I look at how broken down I am.
I touch my heart, and the tears begin to start.

I look at you.
You say that I make you happy, but is it true?
How could it be?

How could you want a girl like me, a girl who feels hurt so easily?
I'm a lonely one.
No one ever cares.
I'm a sad one that's lost in her own head.

I can be over dramatic.
I can be impatient sometimes.
I don't have a good self esteem.
I call myself ugly.

I keep concealed, and I'm quiet.
I don't have many friends, and you know it!
When I do make a friend, I want to have them forever.

I'll start opening up.
I'll share my deepest secrets.
But I got bad luck, and I get torn all over again.

I want people to be honest.
Don't try to spare my emotions.
I need this, I want this, so tell me!

I used to be selfish, but I also used to be happy.
Now, the only place I like is the world within my dreams.

I don't deserve you.
If only you knew what I've done...
Then, you would understand.
Then, you'd see how angry I can get.

You're the light of my life.
You brighten up this darkness, but there are people better than the person writing this right now.

I like love, but it's also left me here to rot.
And I promise that within three months, you will be gone.

So that's okay...
It helps knowing that I won't be the one bringing you sadness.
I'm the one who should feel pain.
It actually relieves me somehow.

That night when I cried a thousand tears...
I sort of miss that feeling.

I've done it once before on a late summer evening.
It was when my best friend left.
I cried like I knew I would.

I always wondered if he cried too.
I know that you did.
And that just showed how much you cared, which makes this harder.
It makes it harder to tell you how bad a person I am.

I suffer from depression.
I suffer from regret.

So if you do decide to leave, I ask you to do it soon.
I ask this only so that it doesn't hurt as much.
I ask this only so that I don't die of a broken heart.

But if you do decide to stay, don't let my words make you upset.
I ask this because I don't mean everything I say.
I ask this because I love you.

Author's Note

I just needed to get my feelings out...

Reviews

[Jetta Zippora]

I know those exact feelings...those exact words...that pain...wow. I almost cried when I read this. So much of my past is in this poem and the memories are always hard to face. I still feel so alone sometimes, thinking that I am not worth it to people...but I'm always moved when I find others that feel the same way. This world is harsh and people are so impossible to connect with sometimes.
I have poured out my heart to people and then they always leave me and take my heart away with them.
You write so well and express your emotions so vividly. I am empathetic to your pain. You have so much talent as a writer. :) Keep on writing.

[Cool Girl]

dont feel alone..
Im always here if you want to talk sometime :)

Thank you so much!
Im so glad that you reviewed!
I will never stop writing, I promise :)

Thanks again!
I hope we can be friends

[Jetta Zippora]

You definitely are a very talented writer. I don't know if you plan to ever write and publish a book one day but I can totally see you capable of doing that :) I am glad to be friends with you.

[Cool Girl]

I really appreciate your kindness and support :)

[Leslie Flemons]

Beautiful poem! You are truly talented! Stay strong! :)

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Yep... I reviewed this once before. But reading it again, right now it feels to be staring in a mirror.

[Cool Girl]

Yep... we are very alike, dearest brother. Our emotions are so similar sometimes.. This helps us to better understand each other and help each other. I want to help you...

[Zoomout]

I'm a lonely one.
No one ever cares.
I'm a sad one that's lost in her own head.

so beautifully sad

[Cool Girl]

Thanks :)

[Isabel25]

......i can really relate to this....beautiful, but sad...i suppose at times we come across more beauty in sadness than we ever will in happiness...

[Cool Girl]

Sadly that's very true... Thank you for reviewing! :)

[AaronFreitas]

This is awesome Cool Girl! Sometimes the best pieces we write are just feelings we need to get out! Great work

[Cool Girl]

Thanks so much, Aaron!! I really appreciate your reviews :)

[AaronFreitas]

Dont forget to send me read requests for your new ones... a lot of times I only get through my read requests and don't get to look around to see whats new :)

[Cool Girl]

Ok!! Thanks, Aaron :)

[Melinda McQueen]

I too, have felt this way... like I wasn't enough. When I finally got my mind around it... it was too late. I miss him so much it hurts. I like this poem; it has deep emotion. You can use your writing to inspire, not only others, but yourself.
A deep write.

[Cool Girl]

I'm sorry that happened..
Thank you so much!
It came from the soul :)

[Dawn]

Feeling hurt is part of being human, but you never have to feel alone! You have so many friends on here, and I'm proud to be one of them!

[Cool Girl]

Awww thanks, Dawn! I love being your friend :)

[Wee]

This piece is good inner reflection, something we all can benfit from. And also through honest actions and humble intention learn how to find ourselves and be content with what we found, this was inspiration

[Cool Girl]

Thank you, Gary! It's nice to see you stopping by :)

[Jerome F Knox III pseud..]

This was a hell of a rollercoaster ride. So many emotions that can lead to different paths and conclusions. The raw honesty and vulnerability shines in every line. Of the many great stanzas in this poem these spoke out to me the most.


We too have sensitive feelings.
We may look fine on the outside, but we are scared of being judged.
We are scared of all those lies.
We all get pushed around, bullied, and thrown to the ground.
We get called some names and get laughed at everyday. There is so much I love about this poem.

[Cool Girl]

Hello, Rico! It's nice to see you stopping by!! Thank you for the wonderful review and for reading my poem! I really appreciate your honest feedback! :)

[Noor.92]

It's so touching and I can relate to this poem so well. Great poem indeed...

[Cool Girl]

Thank you!!