Fault of freight Trains

What we always reflect on.

Anger is my fault
Sadness is my fault
Emotions are my fault.
Everything I lack is my fault.

How one bad day,
Can spread
Like wildfire.
How one bad day,
Makes everyone scream.

The screams.
It’s just a high pitch
Train whistle.
Blowing steam
Off their heads.

I start everything.
I argue about everything.
I cry over everything.
And this creates a river.
A lake other people drown in.
Of course it’s my fault.
Who else could it be?

Reviews

[The Gent Called Alex]

I'm blown away by the theme of this poem, it's so incredibly wise and mature. Bravo! I'm not sure what you intended, but this is what I see.. The narrator is simultaneously accepting responsibility for his/her actions and at the same time also observing and acknowledging how the negative choices (and/or denial of taking that responsibility) can hurt other people. It's a beautiful message and I love it especially because these are my personal beliefs too! (a lil biased love coming your way ;)

"How one bad day can spread like wildfire" "How one bad day, makes everyone scream"
I LOVE the repetition of "one bad day". I think it's subtle enough, but still adds a great emphasis on that fact...I wonder about the "how" you included though. It's almost as if the narrator is musing in an observation it was never apparent he/she made. Perhaps I just read it wrong, but it seems it might come across just as well simply omitting the "how". It would make sense if the line was something like: "Funny*, how one bad day...etc..." See what I mean? Was "Like wildfire" supposed to be "Like a wildfire"? Works either way, just curious. ;)

"I cry over everything, and this creates a river...a lake other people drown in" beautiful illustration again...

In your third stanza...for this comment I'm assuming "it's just a high pitch train whistle" refers back to the "the screams" right before it. If so I think it would flow better just omitting the "It's" If it refers to "screams", than that those lines read " the screams is just..." which is a tense conflict :P.

The only other thing which might have been completely intentional to adjust how your whole poem reads, is the punctuation after your lines. Reading how it is pucntuated right now stops me after nearly ever line. Which might make sense if each thought is a super deliberate, emphatical thought. However, if you want the poem to read a little more flowing, I would edit where your commas and such are, connect the thoughts that go together.

My FAVORITE line of the whole poem is the very last question. I think it is powerful, and again, SO TRUE. :D "Who else could it be?" Simply wonderful. Overall, very well done Katie.

-Alex