Unnecessary Emotions

I wanted to write about two friends who didn't notice how romantic they were acting, because they were so caught up in eachother. It's two men, but nothing graphic happens.

John Watson glanced over at his best friend. It hurt to see Sherlock cry, and it was worse this time because it was his fault. John turned his head away and looked at his shoes.

“Look Sherlock,” He started, “About what I said-“ John couldn’t think of the words to finish.

 

Sherlock swallowed and tilted his head away. He felt terrible and hurt, and this feeling drove him crazy. He hated those feelings, they weren't familiar and obviously unnecessary.

 "I don't care!" Sherlock the detective yelled and tried to stop crying.

 

 John understood. He had meant what he said, but he regretted it. He still remembered the words he said to cause this 'I don't care if you had a tough childhood! Or if you were picked on! If you allow youself to live like an animal, you're a FREAK! Sherlock Holmes, you are NOT NORMAL!' A slight shiver ran down his spine. All he could think about was that damned last sentence. Still looking at his shoes, he whispered,

 "I'm sorry." John knew you needed to be gentle with Sherlock. It was like diffusing a bomb. One wrong move, and it's ruined.

 

Sherlock looked to the ceiling and tried not to cry. He hadn't cried for a long time, to be exactly since he was five years old. And he hated himself that he allowed it right now. Normally, he didn't care about what people said about him. They had boring opinions. Though, he had started to like John. Really much. Like he never had liked someone before and he hated it right now because it hurted him so much. That's why he never wanted to have friends. He cared about John, about his opinion. Sherlock swallowed and let his thin, trembling fingers slide trough his dark curls.

"Did you hear me? I don't care!" Sherlock repeated and his voice broke a little.

 

Sherlock reminded John of a child. He slowly stood up from his chair, knowing he wouldn't get anywhere in this arguement tonight. He got up to go to his bedroom, but found himself turning around to face Sherlock.

"I thought it didn't matter to you." John said. His voice started soft but slowly grew louder. "What people thought, I mean. And I said I'm sorry, and I meant it." With that, John faced the hallway again.

 

"It didn't matter to me!" Sherlock answered with a shaking voice and bit his lips while he blinked a few times to get the tears away. "It's just because it's your opinion. That's why it matters." He added, quitly and watched John while he stood up. He don't really wanted him to go, though he also don't wanted to say he should stay. So he just kept on with crying.

 

John stopped as he heard what Sherlock said. He felt a weird feeling in the pit of his stomach, and he turned on his heel. He rean up to his friend and hugged him. He didn't really mean to, but this was important to him. Up to this point he regarded Sherlock as isolated phenomonen, a brain without a heart. As defecient in human sympathy and he was eminent in intelligence. But seeing the man now, with tears streaming down his normally calm face, he knew there was something. A small bit of emotion. A small bit, to make him just human enough.

 As John turned around, Sherlock was a bit afraid he would just say another mean thing about him. He knew he was insane and a freak and a jerk and definitely not normal, yes, he had got it. Though instead of it John came just back and hugged him. Sherlock blinked surprised for some seconds, but then he raised his hands slowly, really slowly, and wrapped them around John's waist to pull him closer. He nestled his head against the doctor's shoulder and stopped a tad to cry.

 

"You aren't a freak." John whispered. "You're not normal either, but really, nobody is." He just wanted to stand here forever. The realisation almost smacked him in the face. Nobody was normal, but they were all human. And all humans have emotions. You just have to dig down deep enough.

 

Sherlock sniffed.

"I'm a freak and I'm not normal. You can say sorry for a thousand times, I know it's true. It was just ... strange to hear it from you." He murmured against the cloth of John's shirt and closed his eyes. That had really hurt him though he started to enjoy the embrace.

 

John was almost hurt at Sherlock's words. This was his best friend, and John had really hurt him. The back of his mind was full of guilt, and he hugged Sherlock tighter. Sherlock wasn't just his best friend, he was his only friend. He felt the other man's thin hands grasp his shirt, but he didn't care. If only there was some way to make Sherlock feel wanted. He gave up one thought. Sherlock was just another thing John didn't fully understand. He didn't talk, he just stood, thinking.

 

Sherlock needed some minutes to calm down. He nestled his face again the cloth and took some deep breaths. He really liked the doctor's scent and slowly he stopped crying. He raised one hand and rubbed his eyes, his bright blue eyes which were now kind of red.

"Fine. It's alright. Just forget that. Stupid, unnecessary emotions." He said and tried to make his voice sound like usually. To be honest, nothing was alright but he don't wanted to admit this, not to John and also not to himself.

 

"No." John stated. "Emotions are important, Sherlock. And they are necessary." He didn't know how to explain these things to his friend. "And I will not forget this, because this is the most human I've ever seen Sherlock Holmes, and I think it's good for you." He rushed his words. He didn't know why he was saying this, but he felt like it had to be said. He pulled away from the hug and looked Sherlock in the face. It seemed crazy to him, this grown detective not wanting anything to do with emotions. But then again, almost everything about Sherlock was crazy to him.

 

 Sherlock rolled his eyes. "Sure, emotions are important for you. Though not to me. They distract me, I need to think and not cry." He muttered and looked up to John. Actually, he don't wanted to let this embrace go so easly. He could hug him for hours without doing another thing.

 

 John almost smiled, in fact, a small smirk formed on his features.

"Sometimes Sherlock, I wonder if you think too much." With that, he stifled back a yawn, and pulled back from the embrace. He could feel Sherlock weakly holding on, though John knew sleep would help the both of them. He knew Sherlock never slept, but maybe the crying had tired him. "Goodnight Sherlock." He said in a fatherly tone of voice. The one used when the conversation was over. And he walked down the hallway.

 

 Sherlock bit his lips and looked up to John. He really don't wanted to let him go right now. This was stupid. Stupid feelings that made him do stupid things. And he hesitated a moment before he opened his mouth.

"Don't think you can that easily!" He shouted, though not angry anymore. He hoped John would hear him. "I don't want to be alone right now, yes? And if you ever tell someone what I'll say in the next sentence, I'll kill you. Can you stay this night with me?"

 

John whirled around. To say that he was shocked would be an understatement. He walked up to his friend, still strongly reminded of a child. A child who's sick and scared and they just want you to be close, because they know that you'll care for them. Once in the sitting room again, he sat back down in his chair.

"Okay." He said, knowing that his friend was going through some stuff right now. 'Sick and scared' John thought, gazing at Sherlock. "Okay, I'll stay."

 

 Sherlock smiled a little as John came back. "Good." He said and and leaned a bit beg against the couch. "Glad about it. And it's just tonight, fine?" He added and bit his lips. Stupid emotions. "Well, you're tired, I guess? We can go sleep. It's not a problem, but dare you to leave during the night." He raised his eyebrows slightly and looked at the doctor.

 

John almost laughed. "Yes, just tonight. And I won't leave, promise." He couldn't help but wonder what his friend was thinking. He remembered the Sherlock Holmes he first met, and looked at how much he changed. He quite like this new Sherlock though. He relaxed in the chair and kept a wary eye on Sherlock. 'Sick and scared' kept flashing through his mind.

Author's Note

Please note that it's not my best, I just sort of threw it together.

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[Vic]

Dude. WE SHOULD START A SCHOOL NEWS PAPER!!!!!