A Day In The Life of Man Part 1

Man wakes up in the morning. His farts wakes him up. Man says “What the f**k” and he continues to fart. “ Damn it and I was having good dream too. I was f*****g Salma Hayek” . Men gets up from his bed and grabs his gun next to the bed. He locks and loads the gun and walks downstairs to the kitchen. His wife is finishing breakfast for him. She says “Good morning hun.” . Man replies “Whatever B***h” His wife ignores the rude comment “Here’s your toast and eggs just how you like em.”. Man smells the toast and eggs then throws it on the ground. Man yells “ B***h you made the toast too toasty.”. His scared wife responds “I’m sorry hun.”

        Man slaps his wife across the face and leaves the house. Man then starts to look for a car. He sees a Lamborgini Diabolo across the street. A young teenage boy is about to drive the car. Man walks up to the boy and draws his gun on the boy. Man tells the boy
“Boy you better give me this motherfucken car.”. The boy raises his hands and exits the car. Man enters the car is drives off. He runs past a red light. Man says “F**k the lights. Don’t tell me when to stop driving. I stop driving when I feel like it.” A police car spots Man driving fast and starts to chase after Man.
        
Man pulls out his gun and starts to shoot at the police behind him. He shoots the police car at the engine and the police car blows up. Man yells out loud “Whooo hooo. Good shot. No one f***s with the Man.”. Man finally arrives at his destination. His work place. He illegally parks the car at a handicap spot. He then enters his work place. His female coworker approaches Man and tells him “You’re late for work”. Man replies “I don’t give a f**k. Do I look like I give a f**k?” The female coworker walks away.

Man walks to his Boss’s office. “Well look he finally decided to show up for work, well if it isn’t the Man himself” says The Boss. Man then takes his gun puts it on his Boss’s head. “Now you listen to me, you’re gonna give me raise” says Man. The Boss pees in his pants and says “Sure whatever you want”.

A Day In The Life of Man Part 2
A Story by The Reviewer

Reviews

[Mark Holmgren]

Man reads story. Man wonders what the hell he is reading. Man doesn't really know.

[Jerrod Kaplan]

Ummmmm.....Since this isn't giving me an overwhelming sense of "holy crap, did this really happen??" verisimilitude, I'm thinking it's a cautionary tale..... kind of .... I think. But it's obviously written by a ... what's the opposite of a misogynist? A woman who hates men? This seems like it was written by one of those. One who just got dumped. Or something. At least, someone without a firm idea of what men are really about.

[Dave]

This is todays featured story???

The gods must be crazy.

Or else they just want us to explain to you how much work it needs. And why is it classified as self help? Pointing a gun at a persons boss will get them a raise??? I guess Man is probably still asleep and was just dreaming he was dreaming of Salma Hayek...

I will say this though...the way Man thinks and goes about doing things in the story is cavemanish...and the way the sentences are structured and how they read fits that to a tee. If that was the intent, you nailed it.

[Jason Allard]

I don't get it.

I probably won't bother to read any more of it.

It reads like it was written by a grade school kid who has fantasies about getting even with everyone that's ever picked on him.

[Anne Hill]

Ok I do understand the underlying meaning. But slapping his wife didn't seem to fit in with "the man". Also why is it so poorly written? I agree with John A. Mccolley. You might have the right idea, but you wrote it so poorly, its actually annoying to read.

[John A. McColley]

Alright, I'm sorry. Perhaps I don't understand what you're doing here, but what I just read was a tangle of simplistic, repetetive sentences, rife with harshly overused swearing and nonsensical situations. It read like a thirteen year old recounting a session of playing Grand Theft Auto Vice City. Let me qualify this by saying that conflict is indeed an important part of any story, and perhaps this is the best you can do right now, or, as I said, you're going for something I'm not getting, but I couldn't look at all these shining reviews and let you go on thinking this was fine fiction. It is overall in need of re-writing, re-thinking and perhaps disposal. I sincerely hope this resolves into a teen waking from a dream or some such, despite the cliche of that device.

[A. Dade]

Wow, this makes me scared of any future submissions you might have.. But, I do think it's got a peculiar draw for the person to understand the piece some more.

[Chad Dougless]

I found this to be quite humorous, but I will reserve my final judgment of the work until the rest of it is written.

[Antony]

Daniel, This is a story you are writing about the Man. Is this someone you know or are you referring to the Man in general? When I see someone on the street, and I say, "Hey Man how you doin, or Hey Man whats up" Am I speaking to the same Man you are talking about? Whatever, this is a good story and I'm waiting on part 2.
Tony

[Sarah]

The "idealistic" world of Man melts into the harshness of reality and those around him pay the price of his profit. Well written. So we don't end up like Man, remeber that dreams are the food of our existence if we don't achive them then we starve, those around us will be the ones that get hurt.

Keep on writing, and dreaming.

Sarah